Spoiler
A/N: I decided to use a short story I wrote as a prologue to a vaster piece (this one). If you want to check that out, the link will be right underneath this block of text. I might have to tone down the style used in the story, but for now it'll stay as it is. And yes, this is duely appointed the rating of 18+, so you younger folk think twice before succumbing to your rebellious nature.
Prologue: viewtopic.php?t=81274
Part 2: post915843.html#p915843 (I accidentally posted it in the Short Stories section; I'll clear it up after some intense reviewing.)
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The bones of Sully Kale, however, were frozen to the marrow. He jabbed at the heating system with a sullen finger, invoking a rattle that sounded like the wheezing cough of an old man – his last one to be precise. It was a relief that he didn't believe in God, for it would have been extremely unpleasant to imagine where the wet, clumpy snow was falling from otherwise. The groaning wipers of his purple Cadillac smeared the thick, white substance in a thick, white arc on his windshield, obscuring the blaring red light into a dull orb.
Releasing his other hand from the wheel, Sully cupped his hands and breathed in them, rubbing them together to preserve the heat. The light naturally took that opportunity to flicker first orange, then green. The wipers tried to erase the light in vain as he urged them on; to both of their dismay, the green orb persisted on staying just where it was.
Sully pressed his foot to the peddle, his car – or rather machine, as calling it a car would be a grave insult to others of its kind – awkwardly lurching forward to a chorus of horns. He wrenched the wheel to the left, the wheels locking for an instant before swerving through the slush and into the lane set out for them. Sully willed the machine on, murmuring words of encouragment to it.
”That's it. Just a little more. Nicely round this bend. Well, sort of like that, but watch out for that mailbox next time around. Come on. Don't die on me now. Don't you dare die on me. Don't you – fuck!”
The engine decided to take its pension smack dab in the middle of a crowded street. It signed its note of leave with a steamy hiss, much like a snake. A very pathetic little worm of a snake. Sully closed his eyes and rested his forehead on the wheel, releasing an undulating howl from the carcass of his late means of transport.
Brilliant. Abso-fucking-lutely brilliant, he thought, Don't you just love Magnificent Mondays?
To which he himself answered yes, he did indeed. Someone tapped on his window, a hollow sound heard through the beast's final roar. Groaning, Sully reached over to the door and manually rolled down the window, almost half-way.
The someone was dressed in blue and seemed highly irritated. Her lips moved but no sound left them. The police-woman's hands, on the other hand, indicated that she would snap off his penis and feed it to alligators if he didn't lay off the horn. Sully sighed and lifted his head off the wheel. The police-woman jumped to the opportunity.
”Sir, if you'd please step out of the vehicle.”
It wasn't a question, hence the lack of a question mark. Sully wondered why all police-officers seemed to have the same robotic quality to their voice. To him, they all sounded the same, with their ”pleases” and ”sirs”. Pretentious pricks the whole lot of them.
”Tits or GTFO,” came Sully's half-hearted answer.
”Excuse me?” All roboticness had fled the voice; it had adopted a cold and I-fucking-dare-you-to-repeat-that quality.
Sully, feeling extraordinarily smart that day, just got out of the vehicle and stood with his hands in his pockets. The ankle-deep slush poured into his shoes and the friendly airborne flakes hugged his naked head.
The police-woman – Lyra, her badge suggested – gave him a quick look-over before deeming he wasn't worth her time. ”Licence and registration, please.”
”I don't believe that 'please' part plays any significant role in the meaning of that sentence, am I wrong?”
A mirthless smile. ”Hand over the bloody papers.”
Sully reached through the window and popped open the glove-compartment. He took out a paper that had been crumpled two times too many, smoothed a few wrinkles and shoved it into Lyra the Police-woman's outstretched hand. She poured over it within a few seconds, wrinkling her nose in cute disgust. ”What's that odd smell?”
Sully scratched his beard. ”Can't say, to be honest. A mix of decaying human parts and the carcass of the Black Rhino in my trunk, by all odds. Oh, and Burger King.”
A cold look and he got his crumpled paper back. ”And the licence, wise guy.”
Running a hand through his sandy hair, Sully handed over his driving's licence. The officer brought the plastic card up to the height of his head, assumingly verifying its validity. Sully gave her a wide smile, so that the photograph would bear as little resemblance to him as possible. Grunting in resignition, Lyra gave him back his card and brought out her check-book.
”Disrupting traffic, 64 dollars. Severe noise pollution, 32 dollars. Towing, 71 dollars. Destruction of public property, 121 dollars.” She ticked off the items as she wrote them down.
”Aww, c'mon. It was only one stupid mail-box.”
”Resistance, an additional 30 bucks.” Lyra smiled at Sully. ”Just for you, darling.”
”Shucks, I might just blush. Thanks, tuts.” Sully snatched the check from the officer's hand. He climbed back into his Cadillac, fished out his briefcase from the backseat and got out. He also took with him the bulky flashlight from the trunk. Giving the Cadillac a farewell kick, he started walking away from the officer and her smug smile, weaving through rush-time traffic. He stopped and frowned, sure he was forgetting something, inviting a few unfriendly blasts of horns. Then it hit him. He turned back to the site of his misfortune and cupped his hands around his mouth.
”Hey Lyra! So how about them titties?”
Spoiler
So, I'd like some feedback on the general construction of the main character, i.e. is he believable, is he boring, etc. Oh, and the fees for the different 'crimes' I just made up off the top of my head, so no big wonder if they're not similiar to the ones in actual countries. 
As always, any other feedback is welcome too.
As always, any other feedback is welcome too.
