Hearts

Hearts unfold
And reality beholds
The dreams that slither in-between
Grasp for air
Breathe
I dare
But one cannot
Speak the unspoken

Lay me down
Slice me open
Hearts are silenced
But never awoken
Cover my heart
Shed a tear
Hurry
The end is near

Close my eyes
Shed a tear
Heal the wounds
That will never heal

Well hello shybluishflower (by the way, I love your username).

This is a very nice little poem. I especially love your second stanza, the first two lines. Very lovely.

First of all, I'm a bit confused by your rhyme scheme--It seems inconsistent. Your first stanza sort of rhymes--part of it. Your second one does rhyme, and the third doesn't even attempt. I would suggest you decide on rhyming or not, and stick with it (personally, I prefer poems that don't rhyme but that's your decision).

The one line that I don't love is your last:

Close my eyes
Shed a tear
Heal the wounds
That will never heal

Somehow it seems awkward and repetitive to use the word heal twice in a row in this way. Could you find some other way to say this? I'm not sure how, but this just seems incomplete compared to the rest or your poem.

Nice job overall, thanks for the read!

Sare

Close my eyes
Shed a tear
Heal the wounds
That will never heal

I really liked this line because it is so true. There are wounds that just don't heal, some that are just left open. Some things, can they really be beyond repair? That's what I'm trying to figure out.