My True Best Friend :')

6 posts
User avatar
Gender Female
Points 350
Reviews 187
Spoiler
Right! So, this story is based on a True-Life Story of me :) I wanted the world to know about our Friendship and there are no changes. It really happened :D I love my best friend and I hope our friendship keeps going on and on ...<3


A True Best Friend

My life started with friends. My only wish was to make friends and live my whole life with them. I was quite jealous when my brother came in with his friends and was having fun with them. I sobbed quietly until one day, my mother said 'You do not cry when you do not have friends. You have to find them and they shall find you.’ That one policy left me with no choice but to see and find them.

Kindergarten was a place I loved. There were many children and teachers who supported me. The first day of kindergarten went bad at the start but immediately became soothing. My mother left me to kindergarten, as I stood there crying with stretched hands, waiting for her to carry me. The teacher wiped my tears and said ‘It's all going to be alright.’ I looked at the students with a frown but got sight of a girl staring at me with wide eyes. She had a pale skin and short hair like a boy-cut like I used to call it. To be frank, it made her look really cute. ‘What a lovely little girl’ I thought. The teacher led me to my seat and within no time, I was sitting next to her. My legs were trembling and the girl looked rather scared.

During break, I wanted to talk her. I introduced myself to her.

'Hello! My name is Lakshmi. I am 4 years old and I would like to be a teacher when I grow up! Tell me about yourself!' I said delightedly.

'Hi… My name is Prakriti and I am the same age of you.' She said rather quietly.

We talked and walked for long and quite became really good friends. We laughed at some of our jokes too. Minutes flew by, and I started getting worried. I looked around to see kids but couldn’t see anyone. Maybe the break had got over? I knew there was a bell but I didn’t hear it.

'So, my cousin and I jumped into the pit and- '

'Hey, did you hear the bell ring?' I interrupted her.

'No, I thought you would hear it. I was busy telling you the story. Why?' She said.

'Because I do not see anyone. I think the bell rang! Oh my god!' I replied.

'Don’t worry. We’ll get back to class. You do know the way, yes?' she asked.

'No. I thought you did!' I said.

'If neither of us knows the way, we have to ask someone.' told Prakriti innocently.

Prakriti saw a security guard standing near the gate and went to talk to him. As I saw, the security shook his head and took both our hands. He walked us to our class. When he reached Kindergarten-A, he spoke to the teacher.

'Excuse me, Miss, are these the two children you were looking for?' he asks and we both appear into the class.

'Yes! Thank you Drake for bringing them here.' She replied respectfully.

He nodded and went back to do his duty. As I documented the teacher’s face, she was furious.

'Where were you both? Do you know how much trouble I could get in? I could have been fired! You both are not allowed go outside for break for two days until you learn you’re lesson! I am disappointed to see you both creating mischief on the first of day of Kindergarten!' she screamed at us. 'Back to you’re seats, now!'

I felt bad for Prakriti. She had got scolding on the first day. I wanted to apologize but I didn’t dare utter a word. I was too scared in case the teacher would scream at us again.

Hours went by and notes were written down. We learned some nursery rhymes and I felt so much better now, but I still had the guilty feeling upon me. I stare at Prakriti a couple of times but she never looks back. ‘I’ve upset her badly.’ I was lost in the thoughts of what happened during break, when I heard someone asking me something, which bought me back to reality.

'Lakshmi, I hope you are paying attention. If you could please stand up and answer to my question? The teacher asks.

I stood up just as I had been instructed. I looked around to see what she asked but no one helped me.

'Ma’am, could you please tell the question again?' I asked looking a bit cross with myself.

The teacher sighs profoundly and asked again, 'What comes after “E”, Lakshmi?'

I looked confused and answered ‘I think it is “H”?’

She shakes her head like I’m useless and says ‘you haven’t being paying attention. If you need to learn you’re letters, please listen. So, after “E” comes “F” just to make sure, you don’t get confused with “H”.’

I took my place, still thinking about the problem. It was really bugging me and I had to get it out of my mind but couldn’t. I opened the textbook when Prakriti whispered to me

‘Ma’am said not to open the textbook, Lakshmi. Please close it.’

‘Oh, I’m sorry.’ I spoke.

I was quite happy that she at least spoke to me. She was not mad at me after all! But I still had to make sure if everything was all right.

The bell rang and Prakriti jumps happily. She takes her backpack and dumps in all her belongings. I just gazed at her.

‘I’m sorry I got you into trouble.’ I said awkwardly.

‘Who said you got me into trouble? You never did and I guess you never will. We’ve been really good friends, haven’t we?’ she tells me kindly.

I beamed at her and I hugged her so tight like my mother always used to buy things I loved! I couldn’t control it because I had my first friend and I would never break the friendship.

‘Thank you so much for the hug. I can’t believe I found a friend on the first day of Kindergarten-A! I want to make a friendship pledge. We’ll say it everyday to make sure we’ll be best friends forever but before that, Do you pinkie promise me that we’ll be friends for life?’ she asks.

‘I am happy too! What is a pledge? I pinkie promise you!’ I said merrily.

‘A pledge is something we always keep. It’s like swearing. Yippee! ’

‘Oh, I see! What if one of us breaks it?’

‘Well, then I think we weren’t mean’t to be friends…’

God! Prakriti speaks really good English! I hope she does good in future!’ I thought frankly.

Years went ahead and we became best of best friends. Neither of us broke our pledge.
Our pledge was

We are best friends for life
No matter where we go
No matter where we end.
We’ll always be together till death.
Nothing can tear us apart
Our friendship will just grow stronger
For we live, nothing holds us
Only you and me we shall be.


It was a beautiful one and we never missed a day without saying it. When we see each other, the first thing that hits us is the pledge. We hold our hands and say it with all our heart content like we’re praying to God.

Many classmates tried to rip us separately but nothing worked out. I stayed strong for my friend and at difficult times we worked together. We had the best friendship that anyone can have.

I was excited when our new academic year had just opened. I was nine years old that year and saved all my energy to celebrate with Prakriti. As I looked around, I saw her sitting at a desk and an empty seat near her. She saved one for me! I jogged to her and said ‘Congratulations for passing!’ I thought she would laugh at it and tease me like we always do for fun, but this time she didn’t find anything funny. She was just sitting there like a statue, which was just built. Her hearty smile didn’t come up today. I took her hand and said the pledge. I heard her saying it very inaudibly. After finishing it, I asked

‘Hello chum! What’s wrong? You seem to be holding you’re muscles a lot. Everything fine?’

‘You wouldn’t want to know it. It’s bad for you’re health.’ She said.

‘Am I suppose to laugh at that? Anyway, nothing’s going to hurt my health when you’re here beside me. Now tell me again, what happened?’ I asked for the second time.

‘Okay, but don’t blow it. I…I…’ she struggled.

‘It’ll be hard at the first, but if you keep at heart, it’s just going ache. Tell me more evidently.’

Prakriti takes a bottomless breath and exhales. ‘Okay. Here goes. My father got a promotion to India and guess what? I’m moving to India! I won’t be seen here anymore from tomorrow onwards. I was wounded very badly! I begged my parents but they had no choice!’

As she explained everything, she burst out crying. I squeezed her hand and I tried to hold my tears with all my might but they started rushing down the eyes. This was more worse than wanting you’re mother on the first day of Kindergarten!

‘Maybe, you could stay at my house! I’ll pay the fees or you could tell you’re parents to send in the money through cheque! Wouldn’t that be a good idea?’ I say trying to make up but it was hopeless.

‘I tried every excuse, Lak. Nothing could let that promotion down. It was very important and one of my father’s dream! My mother told me to support him. I’ll always support my father, but not coming with him isn’t going to hurt anybody. I tried to tell that many times. It’s of no use.’ She tells me and cried more.

I couldn’t resist myself. The tears trickled down the eyes and would not let myself to hear anymore of this. After school got over, I hugged her tight as possible and went to the gift-shop. It was just near our school and cheap. They had pretty stuff there. I bought her a small ready-made necklace named with Prakriti’s name and mine. I also bought a teddy bear so she could keep it in order to remember me. I bought myself one too, so I could remember her. I ran back to the bus and gave her the things I bought for her. She was so pleased and thanked me so much. I hugged her for one last time and kissed her in the cheek. I said good-bye and told her to come back to the city for a visit. She promised she will and that was the last day we met.

At night, I was restless and crying so badly. It was cold and raining but couldn’t feel anything. I was numb and I couldn’t sleep. ‘Without her, my life is over’ I thought. Next day, I was frozen and couldn’t stand up. I didn’t eat my food for three days and never starved. My parents got worried about me and tried they’re best to contact Prakriti. It was all a waste of time.

One day, as I was staring blankly into the black sky observing the stars and making a wish among all of them, the telephone rang. It rang so many times that is bothered me so much, I had to pick up.

Hello?’ I asked waiting for a respond.

Lakshmi! Thank god you picked up! I heard all about you! I’m so worried! Please, Lakshmi, eat something! Don’t starve! If you starve, I’ll be the one blamed for and I’ll never forgive myself!’ The girl said

Who is this, may I know?’ I asked again.

Who do you think this is? It’s me, Prakriti! You thought I will never call you? Remember our pledge? I’m never going to break it! Promise me you are to never too!’ she responded but I could understand the worry through her voice.

Prakriti?’ I lighten up! ‘Finally! You called me! I thought you were gone forever, but I knew you weren’t. I haven’t gone to school for a week because you’ve left! Now, I’m so happy! Give me you’re residence number, please? Yes, I promise! I will never break our amity!

I get a piece of paper and pen ready to note down the number.

Look, before I tell you my number, I need you to eat something! Right now or else you’re never going to get my residence number!’ she blackmailed me.

I groaned and got some fruits. I chopped them and started eating.

Wokay.’ I say with fruits stuffed in my mouth. ‘I have wobeyed you’re winstructions. Now tell me you’re Wesidence rumber, wease?

You sound like a baby!’ she laughs and tells me the number. I jot down the number and talk to her for an hour and put down the phone. This was the happiest day of my years!

Even now, our friendship stays really strong and I call her more than thrice a year! She was a True Best Friend and I just know that this closeness will always stay.

A friend doesn't always stay with you or see you but the friendship will always be in you're heart no matter how many ever miles you're away...

Whatever religion a person may be, that doesn’t really matter in friendship. A friend is a person where you express everything to her and live the best days with them. I’ve learned my lesson of life through friendship.

Prakriti will always be in my heart, no matter whatever she does! I will never hate her and that’s what makes the ship going =)

Remember, “A friend in need is a friend indeed!
---
I would really help with reviews please and tell if the story was touching or not. I would really appreciate it with no harsh words. ^^

Love,
Cookie or LM
Last edited by ChocoCookie on Fri Sep 02, 2011 5:23 am, edited 10 times in total.
I like nonsense, it wakes up the brain cells. Fantasy is a necessary ingredient in living.


New to YWS? We'll help you out! <3'




User avatar
Gender Female
Points 1325
Reviews 20
Very touching story. It reminds me of my first day of kindergarden! I also sat next to my first real friend, but i didnt cry when my mom dropped me off. Lol I'm glad that ya'll are stilll friends, i'm sorry to say that i can barely stand my first real friend now. I guess people grow up and they change.
Keep on writing! Maybe the next story will be about another adventure ya'll had when ya'll got older?? Eh, eh, eh

TTFN! :D
I'm not inclined to resign to maturity.
If it's alright, then you're all wrong.
But why bounce around to the same damn song?
I know, you know, that I'm not telling the truth.
I know, you know, they just don't have any proof.
Your worst inhibition's gonna psych you out in the end.




User avatar
Gender Female
Points 13890
Reviews 133
Hey there, Lakshmi. Your story is very touching and what's lovely about it that it is based on a true story. It just gives hope to every person that true friendship still exists in this cruel world and that there are true friends who never separate no matter what happens.
Now, what I loved the most about your story is this 'friendship pledge' you've kept with your friend for years and I loved the idea that you tell each other the pledge before even saying hello. It shows how much you love your friend and how much you care for this friendship.

I am Lakshmi, a thirteen-year-old girl who lives with her lovely parents and sibling. My life started with friends. My only wish was to make friends and live my whole life with them. I was quite jealous when my brother came in with his friends and having fun with them. I sobbed quietly until one day, my mother said 'You do not cry when you do not have friends. You have to find them and they shall find you.’ That one policy left me with no choice but to see and catch them.


Honestly, I dislike that sort of introductions. It is weak and too direct. I know that you wanted to give some information about yourself but you can place those information through out the story but never in the introduction for it will make start of the story sound boring.

That one policy left me with no choice but to see and catch them.

> That sentence makes me think of friends as pigeons, 'see and catch them'. Not a good description, I might say but you may use a better word like 'find/look for/search...'

I stood up just as I had been instructed.


I took my place still thinking about the problem. It was really bugging me and I had to get it out of my mind but couldn’t. I opened the textbook when Prakriti whispered to me


As soon as she lets everything out, she bursts out crying.
<< same thing here, you use present-tenses instead of past tenses.

Overall, your story is beautiful. I am amazed that there're still people like you who value friendship. Keep it up :D
★L9




User avatar
Gender Female
Points 5063
Reviews 228
Hi! I read your story and I don't think it was boring at all. It reflects true friendship :). That's what I love most about it. Whatever you wrote, almost the same thing happened to me. I reacted exactly like you did when I heard my best friend was going away last year. Alas, our friendship didn't last long after that. You're a very lucky girl. Remember that. Starlight9 is absolutely right about your story. Apart from the gramatical mistakes, it truly was beautiful. Do post more stories like these. I sure would want to read them. :)
You can wish for death... but you can't wish it away




User avatar
Gender None specified
Points 903
Reviews 3
I think that this story its really good!

It shows the true meaning of friendship and love. To me, It gives a great mind movie and it sorta gave me something to think about!

Fly On~ Raven




User avatar
Gender Female
Points 6235
Reviews 2631
Hai! Okay so I don't recall if you asked for this review or if I just decided to add it to my review list but either way, here I am!

Specifics

1. You need to be careful with your tenses. Sometimes you start writing in present, it's too often to point out every circumstance, but read through this and check your verbs. Any that are in present tense should be in past. If you're not sure about them, don't worry too much, but it's something you'll need to learn about. Maybe ask a teacher to give you some tips or look for an article online. There should be some helpful ones.

2. You're vs your. You use you're several times when it should be your so I thought I'd try to explain the difference. You're is you are. Like, 'you are tall' or 'you are stupid'. Your is for when something belongs to a person, like 'Is that your coat?' 'Do you have your book with you?'.

3. I'm not sure about your characters' vocabulary. To say that they're meant to be four, they talk better than children much older than them would and words like 'pledge' are especially out of place. I used to help run a Rainbows group which is a group for girls aged five to seven and they used much simpler words, especially when talking to each other. Sometimes when speaking with the adults they would try to sound smarter but more often than not got it wrong. Even my seven year old rainbows would not have used the word pledge.

Overall

This is beautifully written and considering English isn't your first language, it's well put together. It's not perfect of course, but it was touching and I did enjoy reading it. I think it's very sweet that you stay in touch with your friend after all these years and I hope that the two of you will get to spend time with one another again :)

Heather xxx
Writing Gooder

~Previously KittyKatSparklesExplosion15~

The light shines brightest in the darkest places.



I can factcheck ur flashback outfits
— SirenCymbaline