Pour moi, la vie, c'est mon bonheur

for me, life is my happiness
at least that's what I said, when
I got asked to say something
in French
it was easy because
it wasn't my own language, so I didn't have to mean it.

really, my life is full of
broken treasure and borrowed gold
snatched memories I cling to
because I'm too scared to let them go

I heard someone say today to their daughter-
no worries,
love
I wished I had no worries,
love
can you take them away?

then I think about the person who stole the colour from me
and if they see me try to find my feet
try to bite my lip, fight tears with pain
and fail and run
to where I can't be seen and cry
do they see?
I hope they do-
the tears are all for them

maybe this greyness is not unusual-
perhaps it is useless
perhaps it will just gift me with more wrinkles
does everyone feel it?
or is it just me with the bent back and sore feet
trying to bear the load?

I hope there isn't something wrong with me
that would be
somewhat-
inconvenient

lying through my teeth again
swearing and apologising
again
I really don't know what's changed

I think when you left,
the music box that hugged
their cold skin
tripped me up and I hit my head
and I'm still getting around the dizzyness
it feels like those stars
they (used to) see in cartoons
are wreathing my head and laughing
their smiles reflecting
in the tears
my eyes know well

(hopefully
it
will
all
be
over
sometime
soon)

Hi again.
Wow! You really have a poet in you. The poem is amazing! There is a fair amount of description and it's definitely different from the one's I've read. It's your original piece. What I didn't understand is the heading. Is that french? I think you should mention it's meaning in brackets. It will help people like me.
You know how to begin and end a poem flawlessly. I'm not good at poetry so I might not have been able to find any faults here. (I think anyone who reads it will like it so don't worry)

wingsofaphoenix wrote:(hopefully
it
will
all
be
over
sometime

I love your style. It could be your very own signature ending. (If that even makes sense)
Anyway, chow!

Hi there!

I took four years of French in high school and I feel really stupid for not nowing what the word bonheur means! Does it mean hapiness? I feel like I should know what it means.

Anyway, I really enjoyed this poem. Like Twinkle said above me, I've never read a poem like this before. It's got a structure that I haven't seen before, very original. I like the way you broke up your lines, not keeping them equal length. Your descriptions are great, I love them! This all flows together quite well and has a definite rhythm to it. I couldn't find anything to fix, it was perfect!

really, my life is full of
broken treasure and borrowed gold
snatched memories I cling to
because I'm too scared to let them go

I really like this part. You've gpt great imagery in this and it flows together perfectly.

Overall I really enjoyed this piece. Keep writing!