Tinted Gold

The honey melts into my ears,
flowing down my throat in a sweet, serene vibration.
It spills into my soul,
breaking down the lock,
opening the door.

I hear the words of others.

Beautiful words,
words which sweeten the truths and lies that I taste,
not with my tongue.
The golden sound overflows.
The vibrations emit from myself,
and the words become my own.
It's my own lips that move through the rhythms,
my own voice following the harmonious paths.

The last glassy drops linger.

They smooth over my entire being,
engulf me in their gentle way.
I felt, not heard.
Any words that dare pierce my ears
will be plain and unhandsome in comparison.

But for now, everything I see is tinted gold.

Hi, i loved your poem, very unique and truthful.
Spelling was brilliant so i have no criticism in that respect.

The honey melts into my ears,
flowing down my throat in a sweet, serene vibration.
It spills into my soul,
breaking down the lock,
opening the door. I loved this paragraph, superb choice of language

I hear the words of others.

Beautiful words,
words which sweeten the truths and lies that I taste,
not with my tongue. I feel this sentence is not needed.
The golden sound overflows.
The vibrations emit from myself,
and the words become my own.
It's my own lips that move through the rhythms,
my own voice following the harmonious paths.

The last glassy drops linger.

They smooth over my entire being,
engulf me in their gentle way.
I felt, not heard.
Any words that dare pierce my ears
will be plain and unhandsome in comparison.

But for now, everything I see is tinted gold.

I thought the way you separated this from the rest of the poem was a smart and profitable choice.
Overall, i really enjoyed reading this poem, inform me if you write any more!!

Razzy, I'm going to be brutally honest with you on this one only because I thought it best to do as such. I prefer you as a prose writer over a poet.

Now, this does not change the fact that everyone can improve and change. That we all have the capability of growing. The thing is, after reading this a couple times, all I could think of was how it seemed without any real emotion. That your diction is gorgeous and your use of vocabulary is definitely not something to shake a stick at, but the idea of the poem seems childish.

I think with this, the best thing you could do is to be a little more original. Your metaphors are almost an exact parallel with the topic at hand, as if you're simply explaining what you're doing by using an example. This can be good, but too much of it merely makes it seem like you tried a more clever way of stating something you could easily say. Like a rant or a diary entry. Maybe I'm being too overly critical but from the moment I start reading this, I already knew how it was going to end. What imagery you were going to use.

I want you to try being a little more subtle. Taking that lovely diction or yours and start on topics that can't simply be explained in the manner you had.

I'm sorry if this appeared harsh. I think you are a fantastic writer but as a piece of poetry, I don't know if I liked this all that much. I think you're capable of much more than this.

~Walker

'Tis fine, Walker darling! Honestly, I don't see myself as much of a poet either. By that, I mean I NEVER write poetry. I was actually pretty skeptical as to whether or not I should post this. And trust me, I'm happier the more you rip it to shreds -- it means you're putting time and thought into this. Thank you for that.

Hi Raz without her icoon! Here to review!

The honey melts into my ears,
flowing down my throat in a sweet, serene vibration.
It spills into my soul.
Breaking down the lock,
Opening the door.

There we go

I hear the words of others.

This looks like a sad, all alone line to me. It doesn't really need to be there, and if it is, it need something else. Just a little something.

Words which sweeten the truths and lies that I taste,

Nice line!

Not with my tongue.

This line confused me. Really confused me. It doesn't seem to go with either line, before or after..

The last glassy drops linger.

Nice imaginary.

But for now, everything I see is tinted gold.

Good ending.

Razi, truthfully, I really like this. I haven't really read anything else by you (I think) and this is pretty good.

Nice job!
And even if your not a poet, or its not your forte, You're pretty darn good too me .
~Dramallama