)One look at the score board told me all I needed to know. It was the bottom of the 7th inning and we were down by 1. Bases were loaded and we had two outs. A base hit to tie the game and a double to end it winning.
I took a deep breath and watched as the girl in front of me settled into the batting box. The pitcher wound up, released, wound up, released. Each pitch was a ball and the batter took first while the girl on third made the tying point.
My name was being shouted by my teammates, the parents and even the coaches as I stepped around to take my place at the batter’s box. One foot in, one foot out, I turned to look at the 3rd base coach. He nodded his head and clapped, encouraging me on.
Legs shaking, hands sweaty, both my feet made it into the batter’s box. This girl may have been a slow pitcher, but it was hard to hit. All you wanted to do was lunge for it, too impatient to wait for it to come to you.
The pitcher wound up and released. The ball came strolling forward and my grip on the bat was steel. Right before it reached me, I swung. And missed.
“Strrrike!” yelled the umpire behind me.
Didn’t you just tell yourself not to lunge! And look what you did…you lunged! Get a hold on yourself. Wait. Don’t lunge. Wait. Don’t lunge. Now let’s go!
Growling at the words in my mind, I took a fierce practice swing and closed my eyes. The voices of my team and the crowd rang in my ears.
“Come on now! You got this!” Do I?
“You saw it! Now go get it!” I saw it and failed at getting it.
“Choke up!” I am choked up, just not in the way you mean.
“Step forward in the box!” I’m as forward as I can be.
“You can do this!” And what if I can’t?
Ridding the noise in my ears with a quick shake of my head, I stepped up to the plate. A took a quick deep breath that didn’t help at all and faced the pitcher. Again, my hands gripped the bat deadly and I got ready to swing.
The ball seemed to move in slow motion and I watched it as it made its way towards me. I watched it as it reached me, I watched it as it passed me and watched as it hit the catcher’s mitt.
“Strrrike two!”
Amazing pitch! And guess what? It would’ve been even better it if you swung, damn it! Why did you let that one go! That could’ve been the triple to end the game! You’re letting everyone down you know. With your stupid moves. Let’s go! I didn’t develop in the head of a loser!
I gritted my teeth and kicked Mr. Negative out of my head. Where was Ms. Positive when I needed her? I sighed and looked up at the crowd, then to my team, then to the 3rd base coach. He clapped again for me and urged me on.
“Take your time. Nobody’s rushing you.” But aren’t they?
I see everyone looking at me with hope in their eyes. I wish they didn’t believe in me so much….
To my luck, the next three pitches were balls. But to my dismay, I now had a full count. This last pitch was what could make or take the game. If I didn’t watch it carefully, it could slip by along with the win.
Right as I put a foot in the batter’s box, Ms. Positivity stepped into my thoughts.
You can do this. Don’t you worry about what everyone else is saying. Block them out. Let yourself be the control of this. Only you know what to do now and only you can decide. Listen to your senses. You know what to do, now get in that batter’s box and show them who you are and what you got.
This time, I took more than a few deep breaths. I smiled and felt my legs stop shaking. My hands weren’t sweaty, but felt strong and sturdy, their grip just enough to give power. Slowly, my other foot seeked the batter’s box.
My eyes connected with the pitchers and I thought, Give me your best shot.
Her arm pulled back with the ball, going up and around, releasing the ball in front of her again. It was coming at me and I just knew it was going to be a strike. As if my mind shut down, I felt my body take control. Ms. Positivity was right. I knew what to do.
And when the ball reached me, I swung. Hard and fast, steady and thorough, never taking my eyes off the glowing orb in front of me. There was a vibration through the bat and up into my hands. I watched as the ball jerked forward, soaring through the air.
I ran. I dropped the bat and with all my power and speed, ran to first. The crowd erupted into cheers and I grinned big.
Great job, I knew you could do it. Ms. Positivity floated away.
Mr. Negativity started to disappear. About time. You nearly made yourself look like a fool.
Shut up, I thought to him, still grinning. I did it. We won the game.
