I'd like to introduce my newest novel, Piper (Possibly going to change the name). Please tell me what you think; If you see any errors, I'd love it if you'd correct them for me. I'm not great with correcting my work (That's where an editor comes in.)
Piper - Chapter One
I was nothing more than an object myself. I was lost in a sea of bristling fur and glistening fangs. They snapped at their prey, tossing it roughly like a child’s toy, snorting their triumph with bitter looks flashing past their irises. I saw no dignity in their foolish game; they had destroyed a fragile creature not for the sake of hunger, but to enjoy a kill and smell the stench of blood. As I watched them dismantle the body with savage snarls and smeared muzzles, I felt compelled to stop the nonsense the pack had created. I moved in closer, receiving warning snarls and bitter glares, which I answered with a careful flick of my tail and the flattening of my body. A few of the younger males tore their eyes away from the mangled deer, circling me ever gradually. The largest of the males, a quiet loner that had stepped forth to claim a part of the pack some weeks back, had taken the most interest in my aspect. With a lean body, so elegant and smooth, I weaved back as he chanced a click of his jaws that nearly succeeded a grip. The other males had begun to back off, allowing their fellow pack-mate to object me as his own.
I heard a soft snarl, which arouse from the throat of one who might have been breathless and infuriated by the ignorance carried by another. It was until an echo rang freely in my ears that I realized it had been my own. The male shook frosted ruff, a look of surprise gathering on his face. His soft white fur began to blend with the snow, leaving only a pair of soft blue eyes. I felt sick of him, so close to me, awaiting his crush to gather tender feelings for a stranger who had joined the pack as a pitiful weakling not long ago. He began to turn, his tail fluffing out in my face, sliding under my chin, and my conscience broke.
A hard nip of his tail sent my ‘lover’ fleeing, yelping brutally as he did, his body cowering as he vanished into the mist. Some wolves raised their heads with snorts, the elk’s body limp into the snow with a flank no longer stirring. I narrowed my gaze, casting a shadow across the corpse of their victim. I felt lost among the killers. I wanted no part of them.
My thoughts began to break away as the one with sheer black fur and deep brown eyes matched body, pressing in at my warmth, panting heavily and producing frozen air from his lips. He reeked of pine and wet dog, but I found him comforting as I allowed his tail to curl over mine. With a sudden exited yelp, he bounced backward and playfully requested I follow; I shuddered at the absence of his body.
He paused, tilting his head and whimpered softly. I ignored him, suddenly distracted as the pack began to break apart, leaving behind the mangled elk. I shouldered among them, forgetting the black wolf’s presence. If he followed, I did not know. The males were always interested in the only remaining female the pack offered, but I was unconscious of them. The black wolf with brown eyes was yet to be forgotten among the wave of others that requested my attention.
Some of the sentences were a bit long and confused me. I'm pretty sure there were a few run on sentences but other than that it was great.
