Daydream

I close my eyes, and to my great astonishment,
Gracefully feathered wings lift me.
I will myself to soar,
High above the flowering plants and towering trees.
The water daringly dives downward,
Exploding into the river below,
An ever flowing blanket of rippling tides.

Crisp, clean air fills my lungs,
Clearing my mind of all thoughts and worries,
Stealing away my fears and sorrows.

I quickly descend, wings slowly closing.
Soft grass tickles my feet as I land.
I stroll along in this serene paradise,
The only sounds being my nearly silent footsteps
And the beautiful melody of the birds’ song.
The crickets chirp, with the bees humming along to the sweet, melodious lullaby,
Settling the world into a deep slumber.

The song of the birds dies away and reality slaps me hard across the face.
My mind wanders back
But I long to slip away,
To escape into my imagination,
To fall into my daydream.

i think this poem is great and you hav added lots of detailed descriptions wich mkes it sound amazing. but there are a few senteces that i would just make tiny changes to, like 'Stealing away fears and sorrows.' i would change to 'stealing away my fears and sorrows.

I really love this piece, it isn't what I would normally read but if you were to write more i'd LOVE to read it!! your really good at writing poetry and the more you write the better you'll get!! :D;)

hi LooneyPandaxx here!

i think this poem is great! i really like the detailed descriptions in the pararagraphs there brill!

I can just feel myself in this poem.

Crisp, clean air fills my lungs,

Soft grass tickles my feet as I land.

The crickets chirp, with the bees humming along to the sweet, melodious lullaby,
Settling the world into a deep slumber.

Those are my favorite, because they really convey a sense. I can taste the clean air, feel the tickling grass, and feel the lull of this summery world.

The ending is also good. I can feel the sting of reality's slap. Happens to me all the time! Don't we all wish we lived in our daydreams?
Fantastic work.

Can't say I hate it!!! I love poems such as these. I'm not a great poet myself, but I think of this poem, Daydream, as a fantastic role model for me. I love this poem!!!


KEEP WRITING AND GREAT JOB!!!!!!!


~Kat