Move

This is definitely a good one. I'll surely click LIKE!!!
Very good...

Hi
This would make a really good song- but as a poem I'm not 100 % sure. Its really good in terms of ideas and emotion but it just I think its just lacking a bit more of a poetic feel. By this I mean that your lacking depth and also a bit of eloquence. I think using the word

cos

is a bit of a no-no when your writing poetry.The lines are a bit short to really develop deeper images. I think with songs you can state stuff but in poetry you've kind of got to go closer into each image and I don't know, I think it would be hard for you to do this with such short lines. But seriously, i don't know if you're musically inclined or not but as a song-writer I really think this would make a good song!! Its got the emotions all going for it, i got to the end and felt a little moved and touched. It still works as a poem, all I'm saying is that in a professional sense it probably wouldn't work. But hey, we all write for ourselves anyway don't we? I know i do. Keep writing, your obviously a deep thinker! And yeah give song-writing a go if your interested. PM if you need anything or if your posting anything else- i would be glad to help. Thanks for letting me see a tiny fragment of your heart!
-Rachel.

This is a really good poem! I really love the story that it tells as it is very true and very wise. You could perhaps develop your thoughts a little bit more but it isn't exactly neccasary. It sounds great!
I just noticed that you left out a capital letter in this line:

you’re afraid you’ll fall

Overall it is a great piece of work and I would truly love to read more of your work!
Keep writing because you are great!

Great work! I love the flow and stanza structure in this poem! It is done rather beautifully! I also love the constant battle between quitting and trying. The recurrence of " you" is incredible, I feel the emotion level increase as the poem goes forward just in that word alone. Great job! I love it!