Me, Myself and I

Long ago, I was alone, bothered only by an unending silence. I loved the quiet, the peacefulness, the solitary pleasure of life. It was as if there was nothing I could not do. I was all but invincible. Then, one cold winter day, as I was thinking, I was suddenly interrupted by Me. Immediately, all I could hear were the words coming from Me. It wasn't long before I glanced over and saw Myself sitting happily next to Me. I realized silence would now be no more than a fantasy, a dream, a memory of what had once been. Yet, dutifully, I listened to Myself, hearing every idea- no matter how strange.
Eventually, I noticed something. Only silence came from Me. All sounds, all words, ideas, phrases, everything that had been uttered by Me was now gone. The only speaker was Myself. I was stupified, wondering what had hurt Me. The culprit could only be Myself. Unbelievably, I missed the words that had come from Me. So, bravely, I turned to face Myself.
"Something needs to change," I said. Minutes passed, I waited patiently for some reaction from Myself. I continued speaking, "Give Me a voice." I finally saw Myself nod, a small half-hearted nod, but still a nod.
I then went to tell Me about the idea. The plan was satisfying to Me. The agreement was that I would let Myself talk, but occasionally I would let Me have some time to speak. So, the grand decision was made, and Me, Myself and I lived happily ever after. The End.

Spoiler

This idea was created in a moment of genius sometime last night as I was attempting to sleep. Then I wrote it at school, and now I am posting it here. I actually thought I was being pretty creative here, but please, review harshly!! I want to make sure I just Me and Myself correctly everywhere, and I want good grammar and such. Basically, I just want to know what you guys think and how I could improve this. Anyways, hope you liked it!

I loved the quiet, the peacefulness, the solitary pleasure of life. It was as if there was nothing I could not do.

These two sentences seem to clash a little bit against each other. Peacefulness implies as if this character did not have anything to do; and yet the next sentence changes this and says that the character felt like he/she could, in fact, do anything. I understand that both of these are highly abstract and don't really mean anything specific (which is a problem in its own), but even as literary terms to spice up the prose they don't really work.

Now, as the story goes on, we find out that the character (I'll assume it's a she) lived in a thoughtless void. This makes me wonder: how did she find out that she, in fact, did not speak at all? One requires thought for this, do they not? So she couldn't have been a lotus-eater this entire time. She did think at some point about what she (wasn't) doing.

Why is Yourself guilty for speaking at first, but does not actually speak in the story? What thoughts were passed down from You to the character? What is this piece trying to say? There are so many questions. That's the most important one that I would love to be answered: what did you want to get across with this piece? Does it have any application in the real world at all? A piece could be about compelling characters, or it can have an intriguing plot, or it could be in a fantastic setting. Or it could attempt to pass on an idea that the author wants to express. I'm getting a faint feeling that you wanted to do the latter -- but what is this idea? I don't know.

Your Self,
cC

I actually quite liked this piece in a strange way. It is slightly confusing and I'm not really sure what the point is but it is something different. However, the ideas all need to be explained further to make them understandable.
All the I's, me's and myself's get a bit much to understand. But it was actually rather an amusing read.

Hi Cailey

You're story was beautiful and a little confusing. By the way, I cannot be harsh. Don't know why =P

Okay so there are just tiny mistakes. I'm sure you'll fix them in your next entry =D

Here are some corrections to be made...

First Paragraph, second line:

I loved the quiet, the peacefulness #FF0000 ">and the solitary pleasure of life.

There should be an 'and' since you're trying to specify somethings instead of comma's. =)

Now, Second Paragraph; third line :

All sounds#FF0000 ">, words, ideas, phrases, #FF0000 ">and everything that had been uttered by Me was now gone.

Forth Paragraph:

I then went to tell Me about the idea. The plan was satisfying to Me. The agreement was that I would let Myself talk, but occasionally I would let Me have some time to speak. So, the grand decision was made, and Me, Myself and I lived happily ever after.

I really didn't much understand that. It was kind of confusing. The answer's still not cleared. Well, I'm just saying I didn't understand but maybe other writers might because sometimes I can be real stupid :P

That's all of it. I say you should keep writing! xD May you have a wonderful future ahead. I must say it was a little cliche but don't worry too much of it. It's just a small part of writing =)

Looking forward to read other entries ^^

Cheers
L1598 ♥

Hey Cailey!

I’ll kick this off with corrections!

Then, one cold winter day,

I think you should make this a new paragraph

Haha, this was funny to me anyways. As for the idea its pretty great, but the plot not so much. Just add some more interesting things to grab the reader, and you’ll be grand. Good job!

PM me or post on my wall if you have any questions!

-Boo