Words breaking free

I stop myself,
but soon weaken.
Writing is what I like.
With it I express myself
and through it I relax.

My feelings are flowing,
like water down glass.
With words I break free
and with them hardships pass.
They are my strength,
they are my power.

I can write till I die.
Writing is so lovely,
it makes my mind fly.
Writing takes me to the world of dreams,
where no one has been before.
For each writer has his own world,
all he needs is to find it's door.

My life might be tough
and so might be yours.
But what keeps us strong,
is usually those doors.
Close your eyes and clear your mind.
Try to relax and take a break.
I can't tell you that happiness is what you find.
Although it's true
and might seem perfectly complete.
Sadly it won't last.
It is nothing but a dream world.
To it you go and quickly come back.

It's heaven we must dream of.
We must be strong
and always work hard.
Do our best in everything,
just for the sake of GOD.
I have a lot to say,
but I'll save it for another day.
Goodbye now
and till that day.

I like the topic, and I'm sure that plenty of others will, but this gets a little messy at parts. On the second stanza you begin to rhyme and it's completely distracting, because it wasn't like that in the first stanza. I will give you props for actually rhyming pretty nice. A lot of people try to rhyme and completely forget about their intentions on the poem. I don't want to completely rip this apart and convince you to morph it into something that it isn't, so I'm just going to be very easy with you.

The emotions were rocky and they weren't very strong. You said " I can write until I die, writing is so lovely." This line is somewhat obvious and vulnerable. Many people love to write, and they can find very creative ways to express and prove that to people. You have to put a lot of effort into emotions, because that's what moves people and helps them find relations.

Some of the similes were silly.

" My feelings are flowing like water down grass."

Think of all the things that flow. Clouds, waterfalls, dresses, so many things! Water down grass is very nice imagery and it's somewhat soothing, but considering how nice this sounds overall, I think that you could come up with something better!

This was just advice and honest criticism, you don't have to take it. Either way, I hope this helped and have a nice afternoon/evening!

Thanks I know it wasn't pretty good.This might even be my worst poem.It's just that I'm in a hurry and I've been preventing myself from writing to do other things,so my mind was about to explode.I'll fix it later when my mind is less disturbed.

Oh yeah,by the way,it's water down glass as in drinking water like drinking knowledge which pushes me to write in the first place.Something a little complicated which I always feel.

Don't worry I'll fix it. Thanks.

I agree mostly with the previous statment, the fact that rhythming is a little off in places and the similes/metaphors can be improved upon. I think that you try to focus on one subject and try to revolve around that because at points like the 'water down glass' (as the other person mentioned) it can create a rather sothing image however the idea that 'I can write til I die' (sorry if I mis-quoted) creates a more depressing image, to me anyway. Personally you seem to have thrown all that you have, emotionally, at it but I mean no offense by that. I think that putting all you have into somethig will more often than not improve a piece, you just have to control it.

I am terrible sorry if I seem at all offensive in any way, shape or form, please except my appologies, or if I mis-quoted at all.