all the pretty things

I really loved that! I thought it was short but great
My only thing is also the lack of punctuation and capitalization. I think if you're not going to have that you really need to have a solid reason, and it is distracting to have the whole poem like that. So my suggestion is choose the lines where you're not going to capitalize so those lines stand out.
This is probably one of my favorite poems I've read so far, though!
My favorite lines are these:
who
were you,
were you
waiting
for life
or news
of where
you want to be?

And I LOVED the ending. wow.

Great poem! I love how you structured the poem and leave the punch for the end. This really allows the words to sink in and then be forced to think about upon the last phrase. I found the message to be a beautiful one. As you gracefully describe "pretty things" to the butterfly, it amazes the relate ability of your poem! It reminds me of how at a funeral, we fantasize how perfect the descends life was, and attempt to forget their struggles and weaknesses. You are very talented! Keep up the great work!

MrM,

I think the YWS will soon consider my reviews scathing and unkind if people keep posting these kinds of poems for me to review. What have you given me to look at for today? A short, avant garde poem which is structured in a kind of wave – which I could easily suggest is a growth, death stream, which would tie into your theme but would perhaps be too kind of me. I understand that you’re experimenting with line breaks, and I have had issue with your line breaks in the past, but this is shifting from one extreme to the next and it means that I am still missing out on key parts of your poem. Too distracted by the shape of your poem, I’m missing out on what you’re trying to say.

Not that what you’re trying to say is incredibly difficult. There is death and loss and disappointment in how those things manifest themselves in our eyes. This poem is too pretty for that, MrM. And I’ve mentioned that to you, in passing, in conversations. Some things shouldn’t be pretty, and this shouldn’t be either. Butterflies are rough and fluttery and erratic. Mannequins aren’t particularly beautiful, unless you are suggesting and uncut, unflinching look at how the beauty can be forced into the inanimate. I miss the ice in April, as it’s not something I’m really familiar with.

What is this, MrM? What are you doing here? I think you need to shift this, make this third person and detach so you can reattach more effective (truthful?) emotions to the poem. Right now it’s like the mannequin, or the dead but pretty. It’s got glitter but no soul. You can do better than this, you need to find a medium between the slam and the obscure. Shift your lines around until they’re more palatable, is one suggestion, and explore why you think mannequins should be considered as beautiful as butterflies.

We can chat more about this, or I can come back. Just give me a head’s up.
- Guin.

Perhaps there's some kind of humor that I'm missing, or an inside joke that started before I joined YWS, but is this "piece" meant to be a mockery of poetry? How did it procure 20+ likes if it's not even really a poem? I'm not dissing, but rather just questioning the calibre of attention this has warranted.

It just seems like anyone could do this...

I was
on a road
little bird, etc.

Enlighten me as to the intricate qualities of this segment, which have so intensely captivated such a large audience.

As simple and delicate in effect as that still butterfly. I appreciate a focused, minimalistic piece like this one. The simplicity or the final question, and the simplicity of the discovery, requires very little in the way of the complex--but of course, all such questions are. Was it worth it? Was there a choice? The butterfly is unlikely to tell us.

My only critical suggestion--omit the "or not?" at the end. It feels redundant--a loose thread dangling from the end of a point that well enough implies the "or not?" alternative to the question.