The Garden

Spoiler

I haven't added a flow because when I wrote it I couldn't think straight. I wrote this while I was in Ireland for my Grandad's funeral, therefore this poem paints a very dark picture. At this point I didn't care about making it technically perfect. So basically this poem is a mishmash of thoughts, so please only critique the words and the vocabulary instead of the technical aspects of the poem please. Thank you

A padded room of dishonesty
Step in through the back door
Kiss the sky in your sleep
And self-esteem is resurrected

Optimism is a heavy load
Sitting outside on your favourite bench
The garden comes to life
The garden springs to my mind

Faith has disappeared again
Primary colours and other voices
Funeral parties and the holy hour
The drowning man in doubt

All faces disappear
Dissonance reigns
Supreme in my mind
Dark colours in my mind

Dissect my thoughts
You will find no pain
No desire and nothing left
Not even a will to live

Sitting down on that bench
The garden reigns supreme
Sitting down on the bench
The garden in my head

I liked this poem, a lot. I didn't find any grammar errors, and they vocabulary you used was pretty good. I liked the kind of eerie essence you had, it made it a little more chilly. Like goosebumps and things of that nature. Actually in the third stanza I did get a little bit of goosebumps. Anyways, I'm American so I don't spell color like colour, but I realize you're British, so I won't say that's a misspelling. I did really enjoy the poem, and I thought the title fit in perfectly with the poem.

This was a really good poem! And for the record, I actually liked the flow! It was choppy, like thoughts, so it was kind of like reading somebody's mind. I liked the dark feel of it, and it really made me feel kind of sad.
I don't think i found any spelling or grammer mistakes, so, good job!
Keep writing!

Hi there!

This is a really great poem. I really, really enjoyed reading it. Sometimes when major things happen in our life it brings out the best in us. It seems to me that when we're feeling down, upset, or even insanely overjoyed, we write the best that we ever have. This seems to be the case here. The flow of this is great and there was only one spelling mistake I found:

The graden springs to my mind

You misspelled the word garden here.

All faces disappear
Dissonance reigns
Supreme in my mind
Dark colours in my mind

This is my favorite part. I don't know why I like it so much, but I do.

Overall this is a great poem. Keep writing!