The Time Chamber. Chapter 1

Spoiler

This is the Sushi Hiroba where my MC works at.

Spoiler

This is my MC Hikaru Tomoko.

Spoiler

This is my MC's Mom.

Spoiler

This my MC's Dad.

Spoiler

This is my MC's Grandfather.

If we accept the Big Bang theory as true or at least plausible, the world began when a tiny bubble of highly condensed something burst and started to expand through a medium we should best call nothing. Traveling at the speed of light, the Big Bang conquered more and more of this empty, physics-less medium and turned it into what we recognize as the matter.

Time also began with the Big Bang. It's a dimension, but it's also the defining parameter that gives our Universe a meaning - it gives it a depth. Our three dimensions have no meaning without time. If we could travel any distance in no time, then there would be no meaning to physical sizes of anything. Without time, our Universe could have remained peacefully locked in its primeval pixel. Apparently, the creation of time forced it to expand.

The time we measure is a representation of the big, universal Time. It's our way of handling reality and parceling it into little bits. And herein lies the major problem in our understanding of Time and its limits.

We tend to separate time into seconds, minutes, years, centuries. But the real universal Time is continuous. It must be continuous, because otherwise there would be timeless gaps between its elementary segments that would have no physical definition. If we treat Time as quantized, then there's no problem all explaining all the little mysteries of our world.

We can say anti-matter and dark matter and whatever simply slipped away from our physics through the rents in Time.
We can explain why the energy is quantized - the time the particles use to jump between energy levels is fragmented, and we simply cannot measure the "gaps" - they are beyond our physics.
We can explain why Black Holes are so small and yet so heavy; they just shovel the matter through the time gaps and into the un-physical world beyond.

OK, so Time is continuous. This means that you cannot pinpoint any value on it. Precisely defining a value would mean quantizing it. To say the time is 100.332 is incorrect. This means that all the little continuous values after the third decimal point are "bunched" up into the last digit. In other words, 100.3325 would not be physically possible.

Some extremely important and highly defining constants in our world have this continuous behavior. One of these is a magical little number called Pi (~ 3.14). Another is e (~ 2.71). Have you ever wondered about that?

Continuous Time will not let us trap it. We will never be able to "select" any single time (date) and go back to it. We will always miss it. This theory causes the race of man unable to travel through time...or so, we thought.

I couldn’t believe it was finally here, It was my 12th birthday. I put on my best outfit: light blue jeans, and a dark blue v-neck t-shirt with an orange t-shirt underneath it. I am Hikaru Tomoka the unaccountable; I am uncountable because my name goes back in our family for generations and generations. I had dark chocolate brown hair and and brown eyes, I was about 5' which was pretty short for a 12 year old. As I pounded down the stairs
I noticed that my Father was sipping his morning coffee and reading his local newspaper,
like a normal day. I walked through the kitchen as if it was a normal day , just flipping some pancakes. I glanced at the calender just to make sure it was my birthday, and said to myself, what’s going on? I looked around the kitchen to
see if there was any presents, but all I saw was a little red box beside Father, I knew it
was probably for me. So I swiped it off the table and took off the ribbon and opened the
lid. “What the heck is this,” I demanded.
“Happy Birthday son,” said my father as he patted me on the back. My father had deep brown eyes and long dark hair like myself and had some stubble on his face. He was a pilot of an airbus and and the airline was called ARJIO AILINES
"Is this a gift or a joke?" I asked my parents disappointed. It was a golden pocket watch with engravings that read CS, my initials.

“Hikaru!,” My mom snapped at me, "this a very special family artifact". My mom had brown hair like me, with green eyes, She looked tough, but yet, she never got mad at me or my father.
“Whatever,” I said calmly. As I headed into the living room to examine this golden trinket, it was then that I noticed that this antique read 12 o’clock, but it was only 8 in the morning. I tried and tried to fix it and push the hands back to the right time but they just would not budge. A minute passed and the hands were still stuck on the 12 o’clock mark. I rushed back into the kitchen yelling, “This stupid thing doesn’t even work!” My dad took me back into the living room.

He sat down on the couch, took off his reading glasses, and sighed, “Son I think I should tell you what this really is.”
“A piece of junk?” I said.
“No ordinary piece of junk,” he said. He explained to me that this pocket watch was given to him from his dad and so forth. He told me that it was crafted by the king of somewhere I’ve never heard of, sometime in the 13th century. King Hikaru Tomoko, I was Hikaru Tomoko Jr.
“So what’s so special and why would you think I would want it?" I understand that it’s old and valuable but what can I do with it? I tried to finish. But my dad interrupted me.
“You just still don’t get it, do you Hikaru, this pocket watch is an important time traveling piece of history”.
I smirked. “Right, time travel. Yeah, not really my thing dad. But seriously where’s my X-Box?" I looked around the room only too see no other presents.

“Fine if you’re not going to take this seriously then I just won’t show you how.”

“Maybe I’ll just ask Santa Claus or the tooth fairy to show me. I bet they're expert time travelers.” I walked out of the living room, “time traveling" I whispered to myself, "how dumb does he think I am? I’m not a toddler.”
“Hikaru," my mom barked at me, "show respect to your father that he has given this..."I could tell she was going to say something like junk or garbage. “...Curio” she finally said. “You’re going to be late for work…again.”

“Yeah, yeah!” I grabbed a piece of toast shoved it into my mouth as I mumbled about the stupid idea of time travelling. I jumped on my skateboard, I was fifteen minutes late I burst through the door screaming, “sorry I’m late!” Just as I was finishing my toast, I worked at Sushi Hiroba, a middle class restaurant with a motel upstairs. We made the best curry in Tokyo. We served Sushi, steak, noodles, sukiyaki, and curry. Now I wasn't exactly make that much money there but, I wasn't a walking disaster. It's not like I want to work here but its the only place there is willing to hire 12 year old's in Tokyo, also include the fact that my moms brother owns it, so she set me up with a job there serving and little bit of cooking. Man I loved the smell of that delicious Ebi Fry (cooked Shrimp.) In the kitchen was the only place I could really catch up on my sleep. I don't know why I, but I can't sleep when im excited about the next morning. The inside was of the restaurant was pretty tasteful, warm, and cozy. With booths, a bar, and tables for two, oh yeah and a special guest room where the more upper class people would eat. Each table was to be set with, two sets of chopsticks for each seat and a big red candle in the middle of each table.

"Hikaru!" My uncle barked, "What are you doing!" he screamed at me so loud that I fell of the bench I was trying to sleep on. "You have three tables to serve and two more to get there orders!" He handed me an apron and walked back in to the kitchen, "And don't forget, you still have to cook the Ebi Fry! and serve it to table seven!"

"Umm, Yes Sir! Right away sir." I hollered back. Collecting and serving orders for seven tables is more difficult that it sounds. Three orders of Ebi Fry, six orders of steak curry, and two orders of sesame noodles. I tried to balance as many plates as I could, up on my arms and in my hands. I finally managed to serve all of my guest.

"Well I must say, I'm impressed with you Hikaru, I think you are due for a raise." My uncle told me.[img][url][/url][/img] Five o'clock, my favorite time of the day, (time to go home). As I was riding home and trying to decide between playing video games or see how much money this gold piece of crap was worth, I saw two police cars racing down the road with the sirens on, Smoked grew and covered the air, I looked back at the school only to see that ALL the students were racing through the front doors. I also saw a man dressed in black looking at me through the bushes I didn’t stay to find out who he was, I looked back from where the people were coming from I could tell that they were pointing at something in the neighborhood, probably the same thing where the police cars were heading. Then, a big red fire engine zoomed pass me. I skated as fast I could to get home but all that was there was ash.
I could not believe my eyes, I could not even bare the thought without my parents they were there for me when I needed them always and forever and how did I repay them? I treated them like a stray dog or an unwelcome guest and now their gone I will never see them again, I thought to myself. When the firefighters were busy I went behind what was left of the house and puked out everything in my stomach until my I puked out my own blood. I was bearing that I will probably go to some family I don't even know. I scrounged around to see if I could find anything not destroyed then, In where my father’s office was I noticed his desk was still there sunshine came from it I thought it was God trying to tell or show me something I walked over to it crushing over broken table legs maybe even my parents own body. I opened the drawer to find my odd birthday present. That stupid watch! I was thinking to myself, it survived this damn fire but not anything else how about my parents! Or maybe even my will! Where am I going to live I thought to myself I’m not going to some orphanage! Then an old man, (maybe in his 50’s) walked towards me in a cold black suit with a bright blue tie. He had no expression on his face but he starring so hard at me my heart almost stopped beating. He pointed his hand to a black Ferrari. “No way I’m not going to an orphanage!” The man smiled and walked towards me.
“Son, I wouldn’t take you to an orphanage if I had no other choice! Now please come in the car and ill explain everything.” Well I did I walked to the black Ferrari grimly. I sat down inside and the man closed the door behind me, I put down my window to take one last sorrow sad look at my now burned down house. To strangers its just another fire but to me it was much more it was my life, my house, my childhood.
“ So, who are?” I asked the old man.
“Hikaru Tomoko the unaccountable at your service.”


“I beg your pardon?”

“ No, you heard me correct son.” The old man chuckled as if I was an outlaw or something and he was going to turn me in for a million dollar reward. “I am your fathers father, YOUR grandfather Tomoko.”
“I don’t think so old man, my grandpa is in Africa my dad told me he was giving the president of Kenya a loan and fell in love there he just decided to move there. The old man or my grandpa chuckled that evil chuckle again.

“That’s true I was, but it wasn’t the land I fell in love with it was a women, your grandmother. She died from aids there I couldn’t bare the grief I thought it was my fault so I had to leave. Then i came home with my only child...[*]your father” As my grandfather told the story of his life we got a small airport and that was there was a white private jet. At least 20 more men were lined up against the jet as I walked out of the black Ferrari I was welcomed by each of the men all of them said something like…

“Welcome sir!”

“Very sorry about the accident sir.”
“Pleasure to have you aboard sir!”

I was probably on the jet for about 6 hours my grandpa was reading some newspaper in a different language every now and then he would look over at me and smile about the third hour flight attendants came and brought us some shrimp it was delicious the best tasting food I ever had. Somewhere in the fifth hour all I could see was green fields and sheep herders. I knew we had to be in a different country no doubt the same country that the newspaper that my grandpa was reading from. We finally landed in an airport just like the one we took of in America. The plane read TOMOKO AIR on it same on the building at the airport. Like before 20 men were waiting for me and old gramps here. Another black Ferrari was waiting for us. We must have been in the car for at least 2 hours, then I saw it a big white mansion in the woods it reminded me of the professer’s house in the Chronicles of Narnia book series. I walked slowly inside still with my skateboard in my hand. They’re had to be at least 10 servants and maids in side cleaning or cooking or preparing for some thing like richest man in the universe party. The mansion had black and white checkered tiled floor with 10 big stone pillars lining the house, and two staircases on each side going up to the other rooms.
“Welcome home!” my grandpa said with a warm smile. One of the servants were standing at the end of a big white marble staircase.

“This way please sir!” My grandfather and I went up a big staircase to find the largest hallway I had ever seen it looked like an apartment it was so big and had so many rooms. at the end of the hallway there was a double doors no doubt the room where they were leading me too. Two servants opened the door. The room I entered in to was as twice as big as some ones living room I king sized bed with clothes from some other country worth probably about $1,000 dollars per stitch.

Wow. I'm going to have to spend some time on this. There are a lot of mistakes here, especially punctuation and capitalisation on proper nouns especially. Grandpa, Dad etc should have a capital letter at the start. Corrections will be in red. And sorry in advance if it's really harsh.

I couldn’t believe it was finally here, it was my 12th birthday. I put on my best outfit, light blue jeans, and a dark blue v-neck t-shirt with an orange t-shirt underneath it (Two t-shirts?) . I am Christopher Sienna the uncountable; I am uncountable because my name goes back in our family for generations and generations. I had dark chocolate brown hair and and brown eyes, I was about 5' which was pretty short for a 12 year old. As I pounded down the stairs
I noticed that my father was sippin’ (This should be 'sipping') his morning coffee and reading his local newspaper, (Why the large gap?)
like a normal day. I walked through the kitchen only to see my mother not doing
anything special, (This sentence just doesn't seem to make sense. Revise it) just flipping some pancakes. I glanced at the calender just to make
sure it was my birthday, and said to myself, what’s going on? I looked around the kitchen to
see if there was any presents, but all I saw was a little red box by ('Beside' would make more sense than by, here) my father, I knew it
was probably for me. So I swiped it off the table, took off the ribbon and opened the
lid. “What the heck is this,” I demanded.
“Happy Birthday son,” said my father as he patted me on the back. My father had deep brown eyes and long dark hair like myself and had some scruff (Do you mean stubble?) on his face. He was a main pilot on and airbus for an airline called [*]TO USA! (This sentence also needs revised e.g. He was an important Airbus pilot for an airline called TO USA!
"Is this a gift or a joke?" I asked my parents, disappointed. It was a golden pocket watch with engravings that read CS, my initials.

“Chris,” My mom said, "this a very special family artifact". My mom had brown hair like me, with green eyes, She looked tough, but yet, she never got mad at me or my father. (Tough people don't necessarily get mad a lot)
“Whatever,” I said calmly. As I headed into the living room to examine this golden trinket, it was then that I noticed that this antique read 12 o’clock, but it was only 8 in the morning. I tried and tried to fix it and push the hands back to the right time but they just would not budge. A minute passed and the hands were still stuck on the 12 o’clock mark. I rushed back into the kitchen yelling, “This stupid thing doesn’t even work!” My dad took me back into the living room and sat down on the couch.

He sat down on the couch, (Repeating yourself here) took off his reading glasses, and sighed, “Son I think I should tell you what this really is.”
“A piece of junk?” I said. (asked)
“No ordinary piece of junk,” he said. He explained to me that this pocket watch was given to him from his dad and so forth. He told me that it was crafted by the king of somewhere I’ve never heard of, sometime in the 13th century. King Christopher Sienna, I was Christopher Sienna Jr.
“So what’s so special, and why would you think I would want it?" I understand that it’s old and valuable but what can I do with it?" I tried to finish. Till (But) my dad interrupted me.
“You just still don’t get it, do you Chris, this pocket watch is an important time traveling piece of history”.
I smirked. “Right, time travel. Yeah, not really my thing dad. But seriously where’s my X-Box?" I looked around the room only too see no other presents.

“Fine if you’re not going to take this seriously then I just won’t show you how.”

“Maybe I’ll just ask Santa Claus or the tooth fairy to show me. I bet they're expert time travelers.” I walked out of the living room, “time travelling" I whispered to myself, "how dumb does he think I am? I’m not a toddler.”
“Chris," my mom barked at me, "show respect to your father that he has given this.."I could tell she was going to say something like junk or garbage. “...Curio” she finally said. “You’re going to be late for school…again.”

“Yeah, yeah!” I grabbed a piece of toast shoved it into my mouth as I mumbled about the stupid idea of time travelling. I jumped on my skateboard, I was fifteen minutes late so I burst through the door screaming “Sorry I’m late!” But no one was in the hallways let alone the classroom. I ran down the hall to my locker shoved my backpack and board in it and closed the door (that barely closed) When I got there ('to my classroom' would work better) I saw no one was there and they entire schedule was erased. It was then that I remembered that today was a field trip day to the pasta factory (stupid I know). Why? Just why can’t we go on a regular field trip to like a baseball game or something. As I walked out of the classroom I noticed some words on the chalk board from the corner of my eye. I didn’t stop to go back and look what it was, so (as) I decided (instead) to head on home and enjoy the day off. As I was riding home and trying to decide between playing video games or see(ing) how much money this gold piece of crap wss worth. At that moment I was(saw) 2 police cars racing down the road with the sirens on, smoke grew and covered the air, I looked back at the school only to see that ALL the students were racing through the front doors (Whoa whoa whoa. You said the school was empty. Where did everyone come from? Consistancy please.). I also saw a man dressed in black looking at me through the bushes. I didn’t stay to find out who he was, I looked back from where the students were coming from I could tell that they were pointing at something in the neighborhood, probably the same thing place where the police cars were heading. Then, a big red fire engine zoomed pass me (Fire engines are generally big and red. Why not mention the noise it's making?). I skated as fast I could to get home but all that was there was ash.
I could not believe my eyes, I could not even bear the thought (of being) without my parents, they were there for me when I needed them always and forever, and how did I repay them? I treated them like a stray dog or an unwelcome guest and now they're gone. I will never see them again, I thought to myself. When the firefighters were not looking I scrounged around to see if I could find anything not destroyed. Then, in where my father’s office was, I noticed his desk was still there. Sunshine came from it, I thought it was God trying to tell or show me something. I walked over to it, crushing ( You might want to say something like "tramping" or "treading" here. Crushing doesn't seem to fit) over broken table legs, maybe even my parents own bodies. (Wow, again. This kid is really cold. And how is the desk emanating sunlight?). I opened the drawer to find my odd birthday present. That stupid watch! I was thinking to myself, it survived this damn fire but not anything else, how about my parents?! Or maybe even my will?! Where am I going to live, I thought to myself, I’m not going to some orphanage! Then an old man, (maybe in his 50’s) walked towards me in a cold black suit with a bright blue tie. He had no expression on his face but he (stared) so hard at me my heart almost stopped beating. He pointed his hand to a black Ferrari. “No way I’m not going to an orphanage!” The man smiled and walked towards me.
“Son, I wouldn’t take you to an orphanage (even) if I had no other choice! Now please come in the car and I'll explain everything.” Well I did. I walked to the black Ferrari grimly. I sat down inside and the man closed the door behind me, I put down my window to take one last sorrowful, sad look at my now burned down house. To strangers it's just another fire, but to me it was much more. It was my life, my house, my childhood. (So, not only is he totally unfazed by the death of his parents, and only slightly more upset about the loss of his house, but he's also decided to just disappear with the first guy who says, "Come with me" ? Did no-one tell this kid about stranger danger?)
“ So, who are you?” I asked the old man.
“Christopher Sienna the uncountable, at your service.”



“I beg your pardon?”

“ No, you heard me correct son.” (Maybe he didn't hear him?) The old man chuckled as if I was an outlaw or something and he was going to turn me in for a million dollar reward. “I am your fathers father, YOUR grandfather Chris.”
“I don’t think so old man, my grandpa is in Africa. My dad told me he was giving the president of Kenya a loan and fell in love there so he just decided to move there." The old man or my grandpa chuckled that evil chuckle again.

“That’s true I was, but it wasn’t the land I fell in love with. It was a women, your grandmother. She died from aids AIDS, it's an acronym there I couldn’t bare (Again, bear) the grief, I thought it was my fault so I had to leave. Then i came home with my only child...[*]your father” As my grandfather told the story of his life we got (to) a small airport and that was there was a white private jet (What? "and that was there was"? Change this bit). At least 20 more men (More? Were there some to begin with?) were lined up against the jet (Either a full-stop here, or 'and') as I walked out of the black Ferrari I was welcomed by each of the men (Either a full-stop, or a comma, whatever you think flows better) all of them said something like…

“Welcome sir!”

“Very sorry about the accident sir.”
“Pleasure to have you aboard sir!”

I was probably on the jet for about 6 hours, my grandpa was reading some newspaper in a different language. Every now and then he would look over at me and smile. About the third hour, flight attendants came and brought us some shrimp. It was delicious, the best tasting food I (have) ever had. Somewhere in the fifth hour, all I could see was green fields and sheep herders. So, in a jet propelled aircraft, with an hour before they land, he can see the ground? And not only can he see through clouds (Which, granted, may not be there) but he can see enough detail to see "sheep herders"? Do you mean shepherds?) I knew we had to be in a different country, no doubt the same country that the newspaper that my grandpa was reading from, (was from). (This is the newspaper that Gramps has been reading for six hours is it?) We finally landed in an airport just like the one we took off (from) in America. The plane read SIENNA AIR on it, (the) same (as the) one on the building at the airport. Like before, 20 men were waiting for me and old gramps here. (This sentence seems a bit more informal than the others. It doesn't really fit) Another black Ferrari was waiting for us. We must have been in the car for at least 2 hours, then I saw it. A big white mansion in the woods. It reminded me of the Professer’s house in the Chronicles of Narnia book series. I walked slowly inside still with my skateboard in my hand. There had to be at least 10 servants and maids inside cleaning or cooking or preparing for some thing like "the richest man in the universe" party. The mansion had a black and white checkered tiled floor with 10 big stone pillars lining the house, and two staircases on each side going up to the other rooms.
“Welcome home!” my grandpa said with a warm smile. One of the servants was standing at the end of a big white marble staircase.

“This way please sir!” My grandfather and I went up a big staircase to find the biggest hallway (You should try and avoid using the same adjective so close to itself. Try "largest", or "an even bigger hallway") I had ever seen it looked like an apartment, it was so big and had so many rooms. At the end of the hallway there was a set of double doors, no doubt the room where they were leading me too. Two servants opened the door. The room I entered into was as twice as big as someones living room I king sized bed with clothes from some other country worth probably about $1,000 dollars per stitch. (What? Sorry, but I honestly do not know what you're trying to say in that last sentence. Also, why "someone's" living-room? Is everybody's living-room the same size? You might want to say "my living-room".

hi there. I have to agree with the above reviewer's opinion on your grammar, punctuation etc. Just to ask - is English your first language? If it's not, then I understand your errors because English can be so complicated! If not... hmm. You need to do some more proof-reading!!

I'll give you some examples:

I put on my best outfit, light blue jeans, and a dark blue v-neck t-shirt with an orange t-shirt underneath it.

This is actually probably the most minor in your piece, but it would be better to have a colon after "best outfit" like this:
"I put on my best outfit: light blue jeans and a dark blue v-neck T-shirt with an orange T-shirt underneath."

I am Christopher Sienna the uncountable; I am uncountable because my name goes back in our family for generations and generations.

"uncountable"? Is he a number? I'm guessing you mean unaccountable... but even then this is strange, strange comment to make. Maybe make it clearer what you mean?

As I pounded down the stairs
I noticed that my Father was sipping’ his morning coffee and reading his local newspaper,
like a normal day. I walked through the kitchen as if it was a normal day , just flipping some pancakes.

What's with all the separate paragraphs? The apostrophe after "sipping" - why? Definitely needs checking!

I'm going to have to confess that I got a little irritated with all this so I didn't finish it - please read it through, make it readable and I'll come straight back!

~*cottonrulz*~

So the above reviewers have helpfully dealt with all the punctuation mistakes, understandable and mild enough. So let me get into the parts of the story that I liked.

It has all the great features of a good teen novel.
The character is realistically rude to his parents.
The average appearance of his life at first glance is wonderfully believable also, people often get this wrong but you didn't.
The fact that the character skateboards is an interesting character quirk, well inserted.
The story moves along too quickly to bore the reader, I was interested the whole way through, and if it continues at this pace that's fantastic.
Description, despite the pace, was not neglected.
I am interested to see what happens next, you created suspense well.

One thing: Sometimes you used specifics: Specific heights of characters, etc. This can be seen as amateur so perhaps leave it out

Otherwise, for the reasons above, this was truly enjoyable and I hope to read the rest of it soon

Hello, I promised I'd review and here I am!!

The reviewers before me have already picked out all the nit picks so I'll just say the things I like about it.

I love your main character, very real and you can really relate to him. And sympethise with him, I mean only a watch on your birthday? Not fair

I also like the plot you've got going here, I can tell it could turn into something really good!
Sorry that this isn't very insightful, but the other reviewers already told you all the mistakes and things like that so there's no point in repeating it, is there?

If you have any queries feel free to PM me or post something on my wall, Midnight x

As I've said before, you do a really good job, Luk- er, I mean, Sienna XD
But really, you have good potential, you just need some basic grammar fixing. This is such a long piece (it isn't really, I'm just lazy) that it might take a while for me to weed through the mistakes, explain them, and the post them in an orderly fashion. It would be easier if I could just sit down with you at the computer and do it with you in person, but that won't be happening for a while :/ So I suppose I will just have to sit down and write a big review for you, if I can find a lot of time. But unfortunately I don't have that time right now. So this review will have to do for now!
Keep writing!
~Dragonette

Several others have given you awesome reviews, so I am going to keep this fairly short. No sense in repeating what others have said and I'm planning on going on to the next couple chapters.

I liked the beginning of your story. Time travel is always cool and I love the idea of it being an old watch that sends people back in time. I think the thing that I most like is how your main character wasn't glad about getting it at first. He's like any other normal twelve year old until he gets this time travel device.

I also liked how you included images of your characters above the story, it's a pretty cool idea. And I also liked how you started on his 12th birthday; getting right to the action. The only thing I wasn't sure about in that beginning paragraph was this sentence:

I am Christopher Sienna the unaccountable; I am uncountable because my name goes back in our family for generations and generations.

I just didn't like it's placement compared to the rest of the paragraph. I think it just feels a bit too sudden, you go from his clothes to his name and then back to what he looks like.

As I pounded down the stairs

In about the same vein, I'm going to suggest that this become the second paragraph. The first paragraph was an introduction, but this one begins the action.

The formatting in this piece is a bit odd, which makes it hard to read. There were several places where the paragraphs were broken up, like the part I just quoted. That is split up into three paragraphs when it should be one:

As I pounded down the stairs, I noticed that my Father was sipping his morning coffee and reading his local newspaper, like a normal day.

Also added in a comma that was needed. I know that things can get a bit messed up in transferring it from a word document to a board post, but it's something that you might want to fix.

I walked through the kitchen as if it was a normal day , just flipping some pancakes

I'm assuming that there are some words missing here and that your protagonist doesn't often flip pancakes as he walks into the kitchen.

My father had deep brown eyes and long dark hair like myself and had some stubble on his face. He was a pilot of an airbus and and the airline was called TO USA

I know that earlier you were focusing on the fact that his parents were doing the regular morning routine, but you might want to consider moving this description up to where the father is drinking his coffee. That was our first introduction to him, so you might as well carry out the description.

King Christopher Sienna, I was Christopher Sienna Jr.

Here's something that you need to consider. You said earlier that 'my name goes back in our family for generations and generations.' Now, family names go like this: first you have the name - say Robert Warren Frumpkin - and then you have his son, Robert Warren Frumpkin Jr. Now, Robert Warren Frumpkin Jr. is a Jr. because he has the exact same name as his father. If he was named Robert George Frumpkin, then he wouldn't be a Jr. So, say that Robert Warren Frumpkin Jr. had a son and named him Robert Warren Frumpkin at that point son of Jr. would be known as Robert Warren Frumpkin III. And after that it just adds on the numbers. Wiki might explain it better than I have. But, in your case, since you say that the name of Christopher Sienna has been in the family for generations, are you sure that you mean Jr. and not something like Christopher Sienna the XIV?

Now, the first part of the story was kind of split up too much with the paragraphs, but the second half of the story has too little paragraph breaks. I think you should try to split it up a bit more so that it's easier to read, because it feels like a big wall of text after all of those breaks in the beginning.

When the firefighters were busy I went behind what was left of the house and puked out everything in my stomach until my I puked out my own blood.

Generally one would start to dry heave before puking up blood. People only really puke blood when there is something wrong with their bodies. I would suggest dry heaving or until he couldn't throw up any more.

I was bearing that I will probably go to some family I don't even know.

I don't think that is the right word for the situation.

Now back to some general stuff. One, I think that the ending of this chapter could use a bit of work. It kind of ended limply, so you might want to consider what could give it a more definite ending. Maybe even consider ending it with the paragraph before the last one.

Two, if the family has time travel, then why did the parents have to die? I mean, I like the idea of separating the protagonist from his family and meeting the grandfather that he had never met before, but if they have time travel, can't they go back and stop it? That's the messy thing about time travel, you need to be able to explain exactly why things happen as they do. Of course, you also have the opportunity to have the parents alive at the end of all of this. But, the parents dying when they have time travel is something that readers are going to question, so you need to think about it.

All in all, I do like the beginning of this story. It needs a bit of work, but I can see that you are working on it, so that's a good thing. I like your main character and I'm interested in seeing where the plot goes. I said that this was going to be a short review, but I couldn't resist pointing out a bunch of things. But I do hope that it helps you.

Good luck with your writing and PM me if you have any questions.

- Tatra