Spoiler
I wrote this a couple of years ago for school. Now that I read it over again, I can see that it could use some work. Your help and suggestions would be great. Thanks and enjoy! 
As my two friends and I pushed through the front doors of our school, I suddenly felt a spasm of panic. I could feel my pulse rapidly picking up pace. Even though the air outside was hot and humid, I felt a shiver run down my spine. I quickly straightened out my long, dark brown hair and smoothed out my new Hollister shirt. I was short and probably wouldn’t be noticed a whole lot, but I still wanted to look somewhat appealing. I looked around questioningly at all of the people crammed into the small foyer. It was normally dead in here, but I guess everyone was just excited to be back from summer vacation. I, for once, was not excited. I was not excited to see their skeptical and judging faces. I was not excited to talk to, and irritatingly accept their fake sympathy. I was not excited and ready for this day. I was never ready for any of this.
Katarina looked at Emily and I,
“Do you guys want to go someplace less crowded?”
We both quickly nodded our heads and walked in the opposite direction of the mob. I glanced back once more at the crowd of people exuberantly talking and laughing, but turned away as I continued walking. We walked around the school in silence until the bell rang. We were all preoccupied with our own, but most likely similar, thoughts. No one spoke, and no one seemed like they wanted to.
My first class was biology. Thinking back, taking biology was very stupid because I don’t even like science. I was seated at the back of the classroom with three of my other friends. As I waited for the class to begin I looked around at everyone else laughing and talking. I listened to my friends jabbering on beside me, but I didn't really feel like joining in. I just needed a few moments of quiet to take everything in. I needed to breathe.
Being back in class with everyone again, things were starting to feel “normal”. I thought that being back at school would make things worse but I actually think that it is having the opposite effect. For instance, this morning when I first walked into the foyer and saw everyone there, all excited, I for once forgot. I forgot about what happened during the summer. I was even about to go up to some of them, but then Katarina reminded me. She didn’t do it purposely. I don’t even think she realized that I had drifted from the memory, but when she asked us to leave it all came flashing back. I still felt the urge to go up and talk to some of them but thought against it.
Biology slowly came to an end and then I was off to business; another exhilaratingly boring subject. When it was over it was time for lunch and Katarina, Emily and I all met up and decided to go out for lunch to get away from everyone. Unfortunately, our plan didn’t work out that all that well. I can’t even count the amount of people that came up to us and gave us their condolences. There is nothing wrong with that, it is just the way and reason why they did it. There are the people that do it because they feel like it is the thing that is expected to be done. Then there are the people that think that it is sort of forced upon them because all of their friends do it. I start to get frustrated when it is obvious that they do not even care. Why do they bother asking how I am when they don’t even want an answer other than “fine” or “better”? I just lie through a fake smile and give them the answer that they desire.
After lunch, I had English. After we went through the usual class expectations and curriculum my teacher told us to write a page on what we did during the summer. All of a sudden my mind flashed to that dreadful day and I could feel my heart beating faster as I drifted back to how it all came about.
It was the end of July and my friend Natalie was on vacation with her family in Cuba. They had left at the beginning of the week and weren’t expected home for another 4 days. I was at home on the computer as usual, when I heard the phone ring. A little bit later my mom told me I had to go out someplace with her. She wouldn’t tell me why or where just that I needed to go; she sounded upset but I couldn’t really tell why. When she parked the car in Natalie’s driveway and began getting out, I hesitated. I could see that Katarina’s car was already in the driveway too and began feeling anxious. Why were we here? They aren’t supposed to be back for another few days. I slowly got out of the car and walked up to the front door where my mom was already waiting. After a couple of seconds Natalie’s dad opened the door and invited my mom and me in. We walked into the living room and I could see that Katarina and her mom were already seated on the couch. I scanned the room for Natalie but didn’t see her. I smiled weakly at Katarina and she stared intently back with an even weaker smile. We sat in silence and my mind began racing. My thoughts were cut short when I heard a knock at the door and then momentarily saw Emily and her mom walk in. We all sat down and then came in Natalie’s mom. I could tell she had been crying, she was not at the moment but you could still see the redness and puffiness around her almond eyes.
She came and sat on the chair in the corner of the room facing everyone. She took a deep shaky breath and then began.
“Well, umm when we were in Cuba something very unexpected and t-tra-tragic happened and, and…” She trailed off, unable to finish. As tears began to fill her eyes I got a sickening feeling in the pit of my stomach, as if I were about to puke. I tried to calm my now speeding heart rate as I waited anxiously for her to continue. Since she couldn’t Natalie’s father took her place.
“Well as she was saying, a tragic accident happened 3 days ago. We went swimming in the ocean and while we all went back to the beach, Natalie insisted on continuing to swim. She told us that she would be fine, and we believed her. I made sure to keep an eye on her from where I was, but apparently I wasn’t keeping a good enough eye on her because when I went back to see where she was, I couldn’t. I quickly scanned the water for her, but without any luck. I ran into the water and swam towards where she last was. As I came closer, I saw her. She was bobbing up and down, arms flailing. She was drowning. At this point, I was about 50 meters from her. I could hear her screaming, as if she was in excruciating pain but I thought it was just because she was scared. As, I was about 15 meters from her I didn’t see her come back up. I tried swimming as quickly as I could but I was too late.”
At this point, I could see the tears welling up in his eyes as well. I knew exactly where the story was going but my eyes were dry; I could not cry. I could not believe that something like this would actually happen. It couldn’t, tragic things like these only happen in movies. Not in real life, not in my life.
He continued, “As I brought my head under water I could see why she was drowning. A medium-sized fish, I’m not too sure what kind, had grabbed a hold of her leg and would not let go. It was still holding on to her at this point and I could see the blood in the water. I thrashed the fish off of her and pulled her up. She wasn’t moving but I was hoping that she was just unconscious. I called for help as I quickly swam back to shore with her. The lifeguards noticed and came out to help and they carried her back to shore. When we arrived to shore there was a group of people crowding around, including more lifeguards and my family. The ambulance was already on the way. They tried doing CPR on her since she was not breathing and had no pulse. They had no success and she was rushed to the hospital, where they again tried desperately to save her. They, they, were without… without success.” He finished in such a whispered voice that it was hard to even hear him.
My eyes were open wide as I looked down at the beige carpeting; I was unable to look at the other’s faces right now. I could hear others crying, along with their heavy breathing. I was not crying, I could not cry. If I cried that would mean that I had accepted what had happened, and I was not yet ready to do that. As their crying got louder I decided to look up at them. Everyone in the room was crying but Katarina and me. As I looked around the room, the sickening feeling in my stomach grew and I could feel my head spinning and everything starting becoming foggy. I could hear a loud pounding in my ears, and as the feeling in my stomach grew, so did the noise and the fogginess. It then got so unbearable that it all instantaneously stopped and I felt the soft cushioning of the couch as I fell back into the blackness.
I awoke feeling very disoriented. I awkwardly lifted myself off of the couch and looked around the large tidy living room. Why was I here? What had just happened? I heard footsteps coming from behind me and turned around to see my mom.
“Ummm, how come we are here? Oh and where’s Natalie? Is she back from her trip because I haven’t seen her yet”, I asked my mom.
She just stared back down at me with intense sad eyes. At this moment everything became clear, a little too clear. I felt the cool tears run down my hot cheeks as I realized what had happened. My best friend was dead. I wasn’t going to see her again, I wasn’t going to talk to and confide in her again, I wasn’t going to laugh with her again, and I wasn’t going to do anything else with her ever again. She was gone, and I didn’t even get a chance to say good-bye and tell her how much I loved her. At this point, the tears were coming so fast that I didn’t even bother trying to stop them. I just let them stream down and soak my shirt and shorts. I sat in silence and wept.
I’m not too sure how long I sat there, it felt like hours. I just cried as my mind ran through all of our memories. My mom eventually told me that it was time to go, so I got up and said good bye. I had been here many times before but this was the first time that I wouldn’t be saying good bye to Natalie. The thought of this thickened my tears.
“Julia? Julia are, are you okay?”
I heard a concerned whispered voice coming from the desk beside me, it was Amanda. Even though I have heard people ask that a thousand times today, it was never like that. I quickly felt my cheeks, but they were dry except for a tear that I caught as it was making its way down my right cheek. I hadn’t noticed that I had been crying it was almost a natural thing for me now; crying was breathing for me. I looked down at my page, and to my surprise it was covered with words but only a few tear drops. So why did she sound so concerned? No one else seemed to notice that I was crying. I turned to look at her and then quickly examined her face. Her deep blue eyes were looking directly at me and I could detect wariness and concern in them. Above them, her eyebrows were drawn in slightly and I could see a small crease in her forehead. Her mouth was drawn in a straight line with the corners pulling down.
“I’m sorry that was a stupid question. It’s just that umm…” She trailed off, not knowing what to say.
I quickly reassured her saying, “Oh no, that’s fine. But umm yah, I actually am feeling a bit better.”
I smiled at her and as I saw her face relax, she smiled too. For the first time all day, I didn’t have to lie.
