Prolouge: An Introduction to Chester M Tabby

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No, no, no, It simply isn't right! The girl is of course important, However-
Why, hello. I suppose that now that you are here, I should welcome you to Underland, and wonder, haha, exactly how you came to be here. You see, I was simply uttering to myself as to why little Alice may have her fame and fortune while the rest of us are left behind in the shadows, dull and forgotten. I've also been wondering how to recall my story before I am lost completely.
My travels through the mysterious world of Underland do not begin with Alice. Not hardly, in fact, she is but a mere moment in my days in the land of (thinking here, open to suggestions)
Now the pages are a-turning, I suggest you continue, as I discribe, in great detail, the world our beloved heroine stumbled, so clumsily, into. A world of dark jungles and razor cliffs with creatures foul and mighty. A home to those strange and of course mad, like myself. We are all mad here.
With that, I bring you to the beginning of the life of a cat, in a dreary town called Hogborough; somewhere between Wilmalow and Alderley Edge in Cheshire England.
It was raining that night, as It always was in Hogsborough. The rain hadn't stopped for years, or so said locals, a bitter group of people, gray and dull in spirits. Even in so small a town the folk couldn't be bothered to get to know each other, but instead looked down upon each other, rudely shoving their noses in the air.
In an alley near the corner of Nocturn and Royale, a gray mother tabby gave birth to a litter of five. The last, Chester, being named after his homeplace. A feisty kitten was he, causing trouble where he could, and keeping quiet and aloof where he couldn't. Ah, but an adventurer! Dancing across fences and skittering over storm drains. A storm drain, being where he meets his fate with Underland.
Last edited by emoticon220 on Tue Aug 16, 2011 8:08 pm, edited 1 time in total.
O thin men of Haddam,/Why do you imagine golden birds?/Do you not see how the blackbird/Walks around the feet/Of the women about you?
-Wallace Stevens




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I get it, like Alice in wonderland from a different perspective? Very original idea :)
For a prologue, i think this is perfect, not revealing too much information, but revealing enough to keep the reader interested.
A few spelling/grammar errors, but that can be fixed.
All in all, i think this is a great piece and look forward to reading the rest :)
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Hey Emoticon,

No no no, It simply isn't right!
No, no, no,

should welcome you to Underland comma and wonder comma haha comma exactly how you came to be here.


the world our beloved heroine stumbled, so clumsily, into.
Try, “The world in which our beloved... clumsily stumbled into

With that, I bring you to the beginning of the life of a cat, in a dreary town called Hogborough, period somewhere between Wilmalow and Alderley Edge in Cheshire England. 


night,spaceas


when a gray mother tabby
get rid of when

could comma and keeping


Hah. I can't wait to read this. I love Alice in wonderland, and your writing is really good. You do need to watch out for those run on sentences. I really liked this though, and DEFIANTLY tell me when you're writing the actual story.

Good job, and keep writing!

PM me or post on my wall if you have any questions!

-Boo
Milestiba uzvar visu, Milestiba ir upuris.




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This is beyond interesting and I can't wait to read the following chapters. Please keep me informed about this story because I'm already in love with it. :D
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Amazing idea! I am a ture fan of the Chester Cat, so seeing this book idea makes me wish you have writen more! Please contiune writing it!
We are all like Graffias. The taller we get, the closer to the leaves we want :)




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Hello, Hawk here for a review!

All right, so I'm excited at reading an Alice in Wonderland tale -- though I'm wondering if this should be in Fanfiction forum, since it's based off another author's characters and world? Just let me know if you need it moved to a more appropriate spot.

Anyway, to the review. I think you've got an interesting start. It certainly makes me want to read on and find out more about this interesting character. However, I think you could use a little more clarity to his thoughts. They're rather hard to follow, what with all of the side notes and ramblings and such. Even though you're trying to portray madness/insanity, you don't want to go too over the top and confuse your reader. There were a few spots where I had to go back and read it again more slowly, just so I could follow along with what was happening. Try to make the sentences a little simpler and not so full of adjectives.

Another thing I'd like to mention is your transition from first person narrative to the third person -- make a little distinction between the paragraphs, such as ~~~~~ or ***** so that it's clear that something's different, and that way it won't be so confusing when you go from narrating the tale to talking about him when he was a youngling.

One last thing I'd suggest is to not use so many names of places. It just gets very cluttered, and if the places aren't going to be of much importance later on in the story, then don't mention them here and make the reader try to remember the names of all the places.

All right, so that's all I've got to say. I'm looking forward to seeing where you're taking this! Please let me know if you've got any questions or whatnot.

God bless,
~Hawk
There are two kinds of folks who sit around thinking about how to kill people:
psychopaths and mystery writers.

I'm the kind that pays better.
~Rick Castle




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This was a bad Idea, I jumped the gun a bit. Ill keep going if i have any more ideas on it but for now i got nothn...
O thin men of Haddam,/Why do you imagine golden birds?/Do you not see how the blackbird/Walks around the feet/Of the women about you?
-Wallace Stevens



Half the work that is done in this world is to make things appear what they are not.
— Elias Root Beadle