Young Writers Society

I'm always trying,
Just trying,
Dipping my finger in,
Or testing the waters.

I never go for it,
I never do.
I never take a spoon full,
Nor do I ever jump in.

Maybe because I'm scared,
I always think that it might happen again.
History may repeat itself,
The history I want to leave.

"What do you think of yourself, huh?
You think you can do whatever you want, right?"
"Ms. Indu, no, you're getting it all wrong!"
"Quiet! We don't need you. Get lost!"
"Ma'am, please, just listen to me! It's not what you think!"
"Oh so, my eyes lie, eh? Is that what you're saying?"
"Good Lord! Will you stop jumping into conclusions?!
You're crazy!"
"Oh, so now you think you're awesome enough to yell at your coach?!"
"I love table-tennis! Please, here is where I fit."
"I don't care. I saw what I saw, and I've heard it all too.
You make fun of your team mates,
You make fun of your coach.
Just 'cause you won inter-house,
I'm not keeping you for inter-school.
You're done"
"It was a game, I didn't mean it."
"So, Myassa is crying for no reason huh?
OUT."
And behind her, all of them sniggered.

I felt betrayed,
Abandoned
And so alone.
I didn't know where I belonged.

But I'm not going to try anymore, no.
I'm going to leap in,
I just care no more!
I'm not going to sit and do nothing!

No matter how many times I'm to fall,
I shall climb up over and over,
For I am no longer,
Just trying.

This poem seems so realistic! It feels like you've actually been through that! I love realistic poems! You've done a really good job in this one! I know what it's like to not fit in and that poem felt real! Good job and keep up the good work!

~~Destiny110

Great job with this poem! I only noticed one mistake.

You think you can do whatever you want it, right?"

I don't think there should be an it after want in that sentence.

Anyways great job and i look forward to reading more.

Can I be nitpicky? Also, be worried - I was fed chocolate eariler and well... now I think I've lost it. Seriously.
QUACK!
*ehem*

Justtrying wrote:Nor do I ever jump in.

I think zis line is a leetle too long. (God knows why I've suddenly developed a German accent...) You do this more than once too.

Justtrying wrote:"Oh, so now you think you're awesome enough to yell at your coach?!"

*cue insane laughter* This just tickled me, I don't know why.


Anywaaay, this was good just be sure not to repeat yourself too much or insert lines that seem out of place (see first nitpick).
I've been Icy, you've been a wonderful audience, goodnight!

SO i really really liked this poem! I liked the message you're sending, the way its written. Good good! Looks really true to mee! Keep up the good work!
PS: ANd i totally support the change Yeahhh go ahead and do more than just trying! xD

A true story put into a poem.. that's how it is to me.. the emotions you put into it made it a beautiful poem..

Now, that was good. The way you put the conversation into the poem was really very nicely done. It added a more realistic and practical, meaningful touch to the poem. Your poem's strong, determined and one of a kind. Loved it. Keep up the good work.

Hey! My favorite part of this poem was the conversation between the teacher and the main character of the story. I'm not normally a huge fan of conversations being incorporated into poems like that, but you did it very well. Also, I like the point of the poem. You can't fail unless you stop trying.

Such an awesome poem based on an awesome concept!