nightmare

As evening falls,
We say our good nights,
Oblivious to what lurks behind,
Behind the seemingly beautiful,starry sky.

The genital sigh of a willow branch,
As a demon perches,
Silent,
Still,
Dark sadistic humour,
Is growing inside the soulless being,
Thinking of one sleepers dream.
His captive for tonight.

hope you liked this poem PM me if you'd like to give suggestions/ need me to review.

I really liked the description in this! I'm not much of a poet myself so can't really comment on the form or structure but I will say that you have an interesting way of portraying the scene. It's beautiful, yet has quite a dark undertone that I love! Your grammer and spelling seem fine, so I won't mention that but you've done really well.
*likes*

Hi there!

This was a really good piece of poetry. Unfortunatly, like IcyFlame, I'm not a poet either, but the one thing I understand about poetry is the flow. That's about the only thing I can really criticize.

Oblivious to what lurks behind/Behind the seemingly beautiful starry sky.

It sounds better for you not to repeat 'behind' here. It flows better. And if you take out 'seemingly' the line keeps with the rythym.

This was really good! I've never thought of nightmares that way...great job! Your grammer and spelling is good. The poem flows really well and it's an easy read.

Keep writing!

I really liked the description Nice choice of words! You got a very interesting way of picturing the scene. It has a dark color and I like it, rawr. Thumbs up!

I like the content of the poem! It's bravely described and full of imagery. I am though, always picking on people's structures and I will do so with yours too. I feel like a robot... I always say the same thing about structures, but this is what I think; If you keep a certain pattern to yours stanzas, keeping them the same size and all it gives a cleaner, neater overall impression, also - you have to keep your lines the same length for the sake of the flow, I agree on the changes Noelle suggested, she adjust the text so that the rythm and flow roll on better

Here's 3/5 icky spiders for you!

Good Luck & Keep Writing

// Demoness

Awsome poem so much passion and just amazing I like it alot.
Because you can feel the darkness and just everything about it is great.
It just like I always tell people without passion there is no story or feeling. keep writing