Nowhere, Now Here - Chapter 2

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Chapter 2


"To the person in the bell jar, blank and stopped as a dead baby, the world itself is a bad dream."
— Sylvia Plath (The Bell Jar)



Beep-beep. Beep-beep. Beep-beep.

6:15 AM. Time to wake up the clock tells me, but I was never sleeping.

Silence.

Oh my god. I stayed up all night. I am still alone. I really, really am. So, I just sit there as the artificial, syrupy light dries on my skin. This room expands to the size of a castle. Or a haunted mansion. The Mirror runs miles away, my door on the other side of the world, my closet unreachable, but all still in view. Worn out paths stretch across countries, coils of unraveling rope, and bread crumbs have been beaten into the dirt. Even if I folded the map, I couldn’t make my way through this land—it’s all too real.

“Teagan?” My world just snapped back, every wall tangible without even having to reach out. This is not my room, this is a casket.

“Let’s start getting out of bed now, okay? I set breakfast for you: a sesame bagel with butter, some blueberries—your favorite—greek yogurt, and a glass of soy milk, is that alright? You have to eat it here, or with me in the car, but if you don’t finish you’ll have to in the nurses office,” my mom ties a rope around her words to keep them steady.

She knows the slightest shift can make the water in my pools spill over the edge, because everything always does. But it doesn’t matter either way, I’m a perforated girl—that’s what she doesn’t realize.

“Yeah, fine, I know. I’m already up,” I say to her even though I’m facing myself, The Mirror.

“Oh, you are. Well, you have a half hour, so your shower needs to be quick,” and she leaves.

I remember each and every day she leaves me. She thinks I’m in good hands, a therapist knows how to handle me more than my mom and who better to make my meals than a nutritionist, right? She has left me in so many waiting rooms and doctors offices and hospitals. but i just needed to be left in her arms.

I really don’t want to go to school today.

But the routine starts.

I’m still staring in The Mirror. It dictates how my morning will go. I skip my shower, because what comes next takes too long.

The ridges of growth on my thighs glare at me, and I frown. Which pair of jeans will accept me today? Will I accept me today? I omit that last question. No calculator or text book or study guide could give me an answer.

After going through seven outfits, seven different skins I’ll always be uncomfortable in, I’m dressed. I end up wearing the pants stitched with threads that tell the world I’m not a complete failure. They’re one of a kind like that; the only pair that actually makes me look decent. A white V-neck hides my upper body today. I wanted to wear this shirt from Anthropologie, though. It’s pretty and expensive and perfect. I’ve worn it once; I even have a picture of me in it: There sits a girl, back parallel to the back of her chair, stomach parallel to her plate. See how her fingers curl around that scalloped hem, pulling, twisting, as if it were too tight and didn’t fit? See how if you look closely, you can make out the outline of her face behind her smile? Or how the edges of her cornea are peeling away, letting the light leak out? She’s almost empty, now.

The brush in my hand is heavy, or I’m just weak. Note to self: do more pushups. I let my red hair snake through the bristles, turning this knotty mess into something into something socially acceptable. I don’t try to look pretty, though. Well, I don’t try to look bad. I just learned a long time ago that it was just too hard, and the failures hurt. In third grade, to look pretty I would suck in my stomach, until someone snapped a picture when I had released my bloated failure. That’s when I gave up. I know what pretty is, though. I look at others and see beautiful people, people with a purpose, people who laugh and smile and dance and love; people who are wanted by others, people who have fun. But when The Mirror spits out its truths at me, I see a faceless girl, a dotted outline. I don’t know how to color myself in, so I just try shape the lines. If I really wanted to try to look beautiful, I’d wrap a corset around my waist and tug until my bones almost snap.

But instead, I just paint my face to hide the cracks. I smother on open eyes so people don’t see the sleep and tears and draw on a smile. Sometimes though, I wish someone would come up and wipe it off, just to see I’m not okay.

Then again, I don’t want to give anyone the chore of keeping my mind in order. That’s a task I don’t even take on. Just because I constantly mess up doesn’t mean others need to fix my disordered mistakes.

6:45 am. The shower in the master bathroom shakes the pipes. A muffled voice that may or may not be singing fights over water pounding on glass. My mom really can’t sing. Dad still sleeps, that alarm doesn’t buzz until 8:00 am. The clock reads 6:45. Fifteen minutes until 7:00. Fifteen minutes to perform the vanishing act on my breakfast, and fifteen minutes until my mom drives me to school in a magical pumpkin. Only it’s not, there is nothing magical about anything that transports me from here to hell school day after day.

Well, I don’t hate it that much. I love getting A’s. I just hate how I struggle to keep my friends when I push them away. My social life is bipolar.

I take one last look around my room to make sure I have everything. There’s the edge of a folder sticking out from under my bed, a collection of inspiration, bones left out in the sun to dry. There’s a pile of papers, each branded with success—A, A-, A+. There’s my coat, the shell of a shivering girl dangling from the closet door. There’s a pile of clothes forgotten in the corner and a disposable camera stuffed with the shadows of my friends—and then there’s The Mirror. I grab my things. Have you forgotten your backpack? No. Do you have your algebra book? Yes. How about your phone? Your pens, your test corrections, your analytical essay, your calculator, your camera for photography class? Your life? Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, no… well, not all of it.

I run down the stairs. It’s scary, actually, how my legs move so fast, but everything around me tilts so slowly, and I’m heading towards the last step like a long tunnel. When I reach the end, everything speeds up again. Everything. Ten minutes left—I search for a plastic bag and the shower shuts off. Eight minutes left—I finally find one and empty contents of the yogurt container into it. Seven minutes left—I pour out ¾ of the soy sludge into the sink, being careful not miss the drain. Five minutes—I tear apart the bagel, and in goes all but a few pieces into the bag. Three minutes—someone flushes the toilet. Two minutes—a door opens, I press sesame seeds onto the corners of my mouth. One minute—my mom tells my we have to go now and that I need to gulp down the rest of my drink and finish my bagel, and that I will have to eat the rest of my blueberries in the car. The gears in my jaw turn, grinding up the last of the bagel. I pour my soy milk through the slot, and there, I ate all my breakfast.

Snap, the seat belt hugs me close. This car protects me from the outside, temporarily. It’s not as cold as last month, but still the wind is chillier than yesterday. The breeze tests the trees. How far can I push you before you break? It asks, and the trees groan in response, they’re tired of the pressure.
Last edited by talkingbird on Wed Aug 10, 2011 4:15 am, edited 1 time in total.
"I am still so naive;
I know pretty much what I like and dislike;
But please, don't ask me who I am. A passionate, fragmentary girl, maybe?

-Sylvia Plath




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Wow...I actually think your idea of making such a novel is actually very good. My spanish teacher taught me something about how students participate in class. He said that most students will ignore the situation (such as raising their hand or failing to think of an answer to a question) and then the problem may seem to go away but it will always be there until you do something about it. This is what the novel is doing. It's expressing why we shouldn't ignore problems like such and you're making people be more aware. This is great and this will teach people lessons. Sorry...this story has got me fired up. Hahahaha XD Good work but go over some stuff such as when she's thinking to herself. You may have missed some stuff such as:

Have you forgotten you backpack? No. Do you have algebra book?
You meant to say 'your' and 'do you have your algebra book'. Just a little bit of grammar stuff to look over. Other than that....good job. Keep writing :)
True confidence leaves no room for jealousy. When you know your are great, you have no need to hate.
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Chapter 2
"To the person in the bell jar, blank and stopped as a dead baby, the world itself is a bad dream."
— Sylvia Plath (The Bell Jar)
Beep-beep. Beep-beep. Beep-beep.
6:15 AM. Time to wake up the clock tells me, but I was never sleeping.
Silence.
Oh my god. I stayed up all night. I am still alone. I really, really am. So, I just sit there as the artificial, syrupy light dries on my skin. This room expands to the size of a castle. Or a haunted mansion. The Mirror runs miles away, my door on the other side of the world, my closet unreachable, but all still in view. Worn out paths stretch across countries, coils of unraveling rope, and bread crumbs have been beaten into the dirt. Even if I folded the map, I couldn’t make my way through this land—it’s all too real these last few sentences I didn‘t understand. Where do you get off talking about bread crumbs and maps and rope? It doesn‘t seem relevant.
“Teagan?” My world just snapped back, every wall tangible without even having to reach out. This is not my room, this is a casket.
“Let’s start getting out of bed now, okay? I set breakfast for you: a sesame bagel with butter, some blueberries—your favorite—greek Greek yogurt, and a glass of soy milk, is that alright? You have to eat it here, or with me in the car, but if you don’t finish you’ll have to in the nurses nurse’s office,” my mom ties a rope around her words to keep them steady.
She knows the slightest shift can make the water in my pools spill over the edge, because everything always does. But it doesn’t matter either way, I’m a perforated girl—that’s what she doesn’t realize.
“Yeah, fine, I know. I’m already up,” I say to her even though I’m facing myself, The Mirror.
“Oh, you are. Well, you have a half hour, so your shower needs to be quick,” and she leaves.
I remember each and every day she leaves me. She thinks I’m in good hands, a therapist knows how to handle me more than my mom and who better to make my meals than a nutritionist, right? She has left me in so many waiting rooms and doctors offices and hospitals. but i just needed to be left in her arms.
I really don’t want to go to school today.
But the routine starts.
I’m still staring in The Mirror. It dictates how my morning will go. I skip my shower, because what comes next takes too long.
The ridges of growth on my thighs glare at me, and I frown. Which pair of jeans will accept me today? Will I accept me today? I omit that last question. No calculator or text book or study guide could give me an answer.
After going through seven outfits, seven different skins I’ll always be uncomfortable in, I’m dressed. I end up wearing the pants stitched with threads that tell the world I’m not a complete failure. They’re one of a kind like that; the only pair that actually makes me look decent. A white V-neck hides my upper body today. I wanted to wear this shirt from Anthropologie, though. It’s pretty and expensive and perfect. I’ve worn it once; I even have a picture of me in it: There sits a girl, back parallel to the back of her chair, stomach parallel to her plate. See how her fingers curl around that scalloped hem, pulling, twisting, as if it were too tight and didn’t fit? See how if you look closely, you can make out the outline of her face behind her smile? Or how the edges of her cornea are peeling away, letting the light leak out? She’s almost empty, now.
The brush in my hand is heavy, or I’m just weak. Note to self: do more pushups. I let my red hair snake through the bristles, turning this knotty mess into something into something socially acceptable. I don’t try to look pretty, though. Well, I don’t try to look bad. I just learned a long time ago that it was just too hard, and the failures hurt. In third grade, to look pretty I would suck in my stomach, until someone snapped a picture when I had released my bloated failure. That’s when I gave up. I know what pretty is, though. I look at others and see beautiful people, people with a purpose, people who laugh and smile and dance and love; people who are wanted by others, people who have fun. But when The Mirror spits out its truths at me, I see a faceless girl, a dotted outline. I don’t know how to color myself in, so I just try shape the lines. If I really wanted to try to look beautiful, I’d wrap a corset around my waist and tug until my bones almost snap.
But instead, I just paint my face to hide the cracks. I smother on open eyes so people don’t see the sleep and tears and draw on a smile. Sometimes though, I wish someone would come up and wipe it off, just to see I’m not okay.
Then again, I don’t want to give anyone the chore of keeping my mind in order. That’s a task I don’t even take on. Just because I constantly mess up doesn’t mean others need to fix my disordered mistakes.
6:45 am. The shower in the master bathroom shakes the pipes. A muffled voice that may or may not be singing fights over water pounding on glass. My mom really can’t sing. Dad still sleeps, that alarm doesn’t buzz until 8:00 am. The clock reads 6:45. Fifteen minutes until 7:00. Fifteen minutes to perform the vanishing act on my breakfast, and fifteen minutes until my mom drives me to school in a magical pumpkin. Only it’s not, there is nothing magical about anything that transports me from here to hell school day after day.
Well, I don’t hate it that much. I love getting A’s. I just hate how I struggle to keep my friends when I push them away. My social life is bipolar.
I take one last look around my room to make sure I have everything. There’s the edge of a folder sticking out from under my bed, a collection of inspiration, bones left out in the sun to dry. There’s a pile of papers, each branded with success—A, A-, A+. There’s my coat, the shell of a shivering girl dangling from the closet door. There’s a pile of clothes forgotten in the corner and a disposable camera stuffed with the shadows of my friends—and then there’s The Mirror. I grab my things. Have you forgotten your backpack? No. Do you have your algebra book? Yes. How about your phone? Your pens, your test corrections, your analytical essay, your calculator, your camera for photography class? Your life? Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, no… well, not all of it.
I run down the stairs. It’s scary, actually, how my legs move so fast, but everything around me tilts so slowly, and I’m heading towards the last step like a long tunnel. When I reach the end, everything speeds up again. Everything. Ten minutes left—I search for a plastic bag and the shower shuts off. Eight minutes left—I finally find one and empty contents of the yogurt container into it. Seven minutes left—I pour out ¾ of the soy sludge into the sink, being careful not miss the drain. Five minutes—I tear apart the bagel, and in goes all but a few pieces into the bag. Three minutes—someone flushes the toilet. Two minutes—a door opens, I press sesame seeds onto the corners of my mouth. One minute—my mom tells my we have to go now and that I need to gulp down the rest of my drink and finish my bagel, and that I will have to eat the rest of my blueberries in the car. The gears in my jaw turn, grinding up the last of the bagel. I pour my soy milk through the slot, and there, I ate all my breakfast.
Snap, the seat belt hugs me close. This car protects me from the outside, temporarily. It’s not as cold as last month, but still the wind is chillier than yesterday. The breeze tests the trees. How far can I push you before you break? It asks, and the trees groan in response, they’re tired of the pressure.



Wow, this was even better than your last chapter!
Amazing job. Your descriptions were awesome, you definitely have a knack for writing. A lot of this morning routine could’ve easily been boring, but you made it interesting with your choice of words.

I really don’t have much critique for this. I think the beginning had a slow start, but the rest of it really held my attention. Sorry if this was unhelpful, but you seem to know what you’re doing!

If you have questions about anything, PM’s are great x)

Let me know when the next part’s up!
The bad news is we don't have any control.
The good news is we can't make any mistakes.
-Chuck Palahniuk




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Thanks guys! :)
No, your review was really helpful, I wasn't so sure about the bread crumbs part, so I'm glad someone mentioned it. and yup, I've been working on chapter 3!
"I am still so naive;
I know pretty much what I like and dislike;
But please, don't ask me who I am. A passionate, fragmentary girl, maybe?

-Sylvia Plath




User avatar
Gender Female
Points 1236
Reviews 40
Hi there!!

I don't often click on the links to these novels with high expectations. But I've gotta tell you, your story was WAY better than any I've read thus far. Like, I'm completely serious. This is actually amazing. I don't even feel like tearing it up, I just want to read more! I am not sure yet what is so gripping about it, but once I figure it out, I'll be sure to let you know. :) You're a fantastic writer, please please please keep up the good work! I'll be on the look-out for the rest of this!! :D

Thanks for the great read!
~Molly
"Music - that's been my education. There's not a day that goes by that I take it for granted."
-BJA

‎"I always thought insanity would be a dark, bitter feeling, but it is drenching and delicious if you really roll around in it."
-The Help




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Thank you! It actually started out as a short story than it just grew into this haha. I'm almost done with the next part, I've been having sort of a writers block
"I am still so naive;
I know pretty much what I like and dislike;
But please, don't ask me who I am. A passionate, fragmentary girl, maybe?

-Sylvia Plath




User avatar
Gender Male
Points 17895
Reviews 489
My first review may have come across as a little harsh. I can be seen like that sometimes so I hope you don't mind. This time, to make up for it, I'd thought I'd start off with a compliment.

Your diction - excluding the couple typos and tense changing - is rather good. Metaphoric, even, which is nice and I respect. I like the way in which your words sort of run into each other. The way each sentence lays a certain aspect on the character you want us to see and the world of which you want us to understand. You have an interesting way with words, and I respect that about you. It shows that you'll make a fantastic writer one day.

But as someone like me who reads for character and is the type to analyse something to death, I still find this hard to swallow.

Two chapters have past (though rather short chapters) and all I really got from it was that she feels she failed and is continuing to fail. Though this chapter is exponentially better than the first and there are some points are particularly liked, you still seem to stick with thought over plot and making your character out to be truly broken. It makes me think that you'll have a lot of trouble finishing this.

Why, you might ask? Because you dropped us into this girls life without so much as a couple normal thoughts to keep us buoyant. Its almost as if you need us to understand how horrible everything is for her right from the start instead of letting us slowly dip out toes in then learn, gradually, how terrible something like an eating disorder can be.

If this is a novel, which I reckon it is, you may not to start thinking about how you want this character to come across. How much you may want people to sympathize. Right now, as an average person who has struggled with many things such as depression and alike, I have a very hard time relating in any way to how melodramatic she is. How her entire life revolves around one thing, and it shouldn't. It should be a big aspect, yes, and that should effect how certain things affect her, but it shouldn't be the only thing about her. If so, its hard to feel anything at all when it comes to her.

So be gentle with this. Really gentle. Let us see what is still good and still worth looking at within this character. For instance, the A's you talked about. How she liked getting A's. That was a start. Not a big start, mind you, but a start.

Either way, I can't help but feel that you're focusing all your energy on making this disorder appear believable that you forget that this is also a story and that there are more dimensions to a character than simply flaw.

In any case, I feel that, though you have a bit of growing to do, you're already half way there. Your diction is rather nice and your way of putting across certain thoughts is also good. I haven't see you put her into any real situations yet so I can't complain too much about characterization until some is actually had. Simply speaking, keep working. Keep writing. Keep trying.

And I'll keep reading. I really want to watch you grow.

~Walker
Suppose for a moment that the heart has two heads, that the heart has been chained and dunked in a glass booth filled with river water. The heart is monologuing about hesitation and fulfillment while behind the red brocade the heart is drowning. - R.S



I do not use my siblings as the cleaning equipment.
— Atticus