Candlelight Flicker

Hi guys, something I just came up with in math (my inspirational subject =.=")
It's straight off the page, so sorry if there are still punctuality errors
it's pretty short anyway T_T
Hope you like it


_______________________________________________________________________________________






Quicker.
Quicker.
Candlelight Flicker.
Tap.
Tap.
Footprint slap.
Huff.
Puff.
Cough,cough, stumble!
Spectacles tumble!
Tummy rumbles.

Dark!
Dark!
Old man is blind!
One step behind..
Only to find..
The floor!
Smack! Ragged bones are sore!
CRAP!
CRAP!
HEART ATTACK!!!
World goes...
Black.

Haha! That was really funny! For a joke poem it was really good. I really liked your use of the repeated word with something that rhymes afterwards. I really enjoyed it. In fact, I loved it. In fact, I want to marry it. In fact, I want to have babies with it. I love it SOOOOOOOO much. You're awesome!

Good poem and funny too. The things we come up during class......... keep going!

Quicker.Quicker.Candlelight Flicker.Tap.Tap.Footprint slap.Huff.Puff.Cough,cough, stumble!Spectacles tumble!Tummy rumbles.I think there should be a coma after each of the Quickers at the top. and Taps and myabe evn the huff puff like at the cough, cough.

Dark!Dark!Old man is blind!One step behind..Only to find..The floor!Smack! Ragged bones are sore!CRAP!CRAP!HEART ATTACK!!!World goes...Black.I don't quite understand the meaning, but maybe that's the point of this. And man, A heart attack is serious talk, not funny. Hope my review was helpful.

Aoow, Ney! This was sad and hilarious all at ones... The way you wrote it, with those quick hurried words that made me almost stressed... very good! Original, and I like it! I don't feel like this is someone to go into the details with, it was good as it was and I give you 4 out of 5 icky spiders

Good Luck & Keep Writing

// Demoness