Deep Down

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This is for a contest called the Mirror of Erised. It's for Harry Potter, but then it's about my personal life and me finding the mirror. I wasn't sure if it was considered fanfiction or not, so I just decided to put it into general fiction. Here's the link if anyone wants it contests/viewcontest.php?id=52

This is extremely personal to me! I've been debating if I want to enter this for a while now. So please be careful about what you post about the actual contents of the story. But feel free to review it and tell me how my writing or use of detail can be made better :)


So many memories, forgotten, destroyed. The thought depressed me. Memories seemed to be the only thing I had, even if some of them weren’t the best. All my memories were contained with my ten journals, and they were my pride and joy. Without my memories I was nothing.
As I walked in my grandpa’s basement, that’s exactly what was flooding through my mind, memories. Lots and lots of them at that. I stared at the My Little Ponies staring back of me, a figment of my childhood. Yes, I remembered them well. I could almost see my aunts and me playing with them together. I snapped out of my phase and looked down. Things weren’t the same anymore. I was going to college soon. My childhood was long gone.
I kept looking around. My grandpa wouldn’t be home for a while, and my grandma had just told me to do what I wanted. How could I turn down an opportunity like this? I came to the very back of the room. It was piled high and everything imaginable. I smiled. Just as I had remembered it. I turned my head and noticed a door to the side. Of course I had seen this door hundreds of times, but I had never been in it. I always thought it was my uncle’s room. But now that my uncle had long since moved out it was my chance.
I tip toed to the door and opened it. Of course whenever you’re trying to be quiet everything seems extremely loud, so I had to hold my breath, sure someone had heard me and was about to come down to tell me to not snoop around, but when I heard no one I sighed a sigh of relief and went inside.
I was expecting more junk now that the room was empty and not needed, but I was surprised to find it almost completely bare except for a mirror that stood in the center. My grandpa kept a lot of junk, but an old mirror was never something I remembered or could picture him keeping.
I walked up the mirror and looked inside of it. I almost jumped two feet when I didn’t see my normal reflection; rather I was snuggled next to a guy. I kind of backed away, a little freaked out. I did a couple deep breathing exercises and then went back. I was still there with that guy, but this time I saw some little kids with me. What was this? Could this mirror tell the future? I wanted a family someday and to fall in love, but was this what I was in for?
Suddenly the scene changed, and instead of seeing a family I saw myself again, but this time in front a classroom. I did a double take. What was going on here? Suddenly Harry Potter came to my mind. Of course, the Mirror of Erised. But what were the odds it was in my grandpa’s basement? I shook my head and wondered how weird my life would be getting in the next two minutes. But I was really curious, so I couldn’t stop staring. I was smiling, telling a student about some grammar related things. It made me happy to see this.
The scene changed again, making me wonder how many desires I could possibly have. This time I saw a book. It was opened, allowing me to see the words. Why did they look so familiar? The book was then closed and I smiled when I saw the title: Everything Happens for a Reason. I wanted desperately to touch it, but I stopped myself and shook my head, realizing it was only a mirror and you couldn’t go inside it, no matter how much you wanted to. Then the book opened to the first couple pages, allowing me to see the also by the author section. I saw a huge list of all different kinds of books. My heart started to beat a little faster. I REALLY wished this mirror could tell the future. But I got a little down when I realized these were only my desires. I already knew all these things and I didn’t need to see them in some mirror that would have no bearing on whether or not they actually happened. I sighed and was about to leave when I saw the scene change again.
“Oh you have got to be kidding me,” I said out loud. “I didn’t think I had this many desires.” I shook my head, about to leave without interest in what I would see next, but I stopped dead in my tracks and turned around when I saw the dark hair. No, it couldn’t be…
I stared for a while, unable to comprehend what I was seeing. He smiled at me. I still couldn’t stop staring. “I’m very proud of you,” he told me. “You’ve accomplished more than I could have imagined.”
Okay this was just too much for me to handle. The next thing I knew I ran out of the room and all the way up the stairs. I even ran out the kitchen door, causing my grandma to look at me funny, probably thinking I saw a really giant spider or something.
Some memories should be forgotten.
Let's eat mom.
Let's eat, mom.
Good grammar saves lives :D




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I like the way this is told in story form instead of an essay type of thing. It's creative and makes it all the more interesting. I was actually thinking about entering this contest, too. The only thing I really have to ask is who the dark haired person is. A parent? A friend? Overall, it's very good. I liked what you said about memories. It's relatable. Good job. You might win.
"It is a far, far better thing that I do, than I have ever done; it is a far, far better rest that I go to, than I have ever known..." A Tale of Two Cities, by Charles Dickens.




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Good job. I really liked it. I thought you found a good way to work the mirrior into your story and that you mentioned being connfused at how it got into your grandparents basement. You also by the way have a really nice desire and I wouldn't go changing it if I were you, but then again I'm not. By the way I am also entering the same contest as you and if all the compition is this tough then I don't stand a chance. Well good luck to the both of us!!!




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I love the way you intergrated everything. It flowed very well! I entered too, and out of the few I've read I think this is the most original...

I think this stands a great chance of winning the contest :)




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Hello I'm Eniarrol. A big thank you for entering my contest!! For a while there a thought I wouldn't have enough people.

I like how at the start you lowered us down into the climax of the story which is the Mirror of Erised. And kept a flow throughout the story which is extremly hard to do. It was also unique doing the mirror flashing through the different desires instead of having the one.

The only thing was that I got confused at the end. Who is this person with the dark hair? Is he a family member, friend, a guy you liked? Excuse me if I'm nosey but I'd like, as a reader, to know a little about this person.

At the end I found the finishing statment was a nice strong one displaying the dangers of the mirror. But, does the memories refer to the man with the dark hair? Because otherwise it would be desires or dreams or whatever your character (Well yourself, you know what I mean) persees them as.

Great work! I should be getting round to judging the contest soon. Forgive if I'm one or two days late.
A hero isn’t defined by winning. Loads of heroes die in the effort. Most of them never get any recognition. No, a hero is just somebody who does the right thing when it would be far, far easier to do nothing.


~Previously SweetMoments



I drink tea and forget the world's noises.
— Chinese saying