BACK TO HOME

Its been a long time
I have been treading on this path of loneliness,
I can see no one
but I hoped to meet someone,
How unfortunate!!!
That the meeting couldnt be a success;
What am I waiting for?
There's nothing here.
Lead me now,
Back to home !!!!


Its a tunnel
A dark one,
No light but one, can remove this darkness
't is the light of love!!!
But what a fool am I
To be searching for love on a path,
Where no one can lend me some.
But now its time,
That I went back to home !!!!



Days don't move
Nor do I,
On this untreaded path.
Its so stand still, so cold
But who can give that warmth of love???
Don't I deserve a bit,
Just to reach back home??
'm ain't gonna stay long here.
Am I so undeserving of someone's heartfelt love???
I am tired, 'm so lonely
I just wanna go
Back to home !!!!!

It's good, nice idea, but you have forgotten some grammar and to use only one "!" without a space after the words.

Dikhshita wrote:Back to home !!! Back to home!

But I really do like it, keep writing!

This is a lovely little poem. I just thought I'd touch up on some small errors.

It's been a long time
I have been treading on this path of loneliness,
I can see no one
but I hoped to meet someone,
How unfortunate!!! (remove these exclamation marks and put them after 'success' instead)
That the meeting couldn't be a success!!!
What am I waiting for?
There's nothing here.
Lead me now,
Back to home !!!!


It's a tunnel
A dark one,
No light' but one can remove this darkness
'tis the light of love!!!
But what a fool am I
To be searching for love on a path
Where no one can lend me some.
But now it's time,
That I got (I'm not too sure about that. Anyway...) back to home !!!!



Days don't move,
Nor do I
On this untreaded path.
It's so stand still, so cold
But who can give that warmth of love???
Don't I deserve a bit,
Just to reach back home??
I ain't gonna stay long here. (Usually, aint and gonna aren't words but I can see what you were trying to do)
Am I so undeserving of someone's heartfelt love???
I am tired, I'm so lonely
I just wanna go(Yeah. 'Wanna' isn't a word either but...)
Back to home !!!!!

Your poem was nice and I liked the style you were trying to give it with the little slang you put in it. But I do think you should be careful with the "its" and "it's" and other words with apostrophes.

Nice work!
Keep writing!