The Diamond Fist: Prologue

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Hi!This is excellent!
I think it's a bit long, but I'm no expert.

I didn't notice anything wrong or mysterious, but there's one thing:
(around neck)
I think you ought to say: (around my neck)

Good luck with everything. Keep writing. :D
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Every empire tells itself and the world that it is unlike all other empires.
— Edward Said