Unspoken terror, a threat to all men...
Chapter 1
Valarie stared out the taxi window out into the bright sunny day that seemed to be insistent on being the opposite of her own dreary mood.
“Oh, Valarie. Don’t be such a spoil sport. We’re going to the beach! On a vacation together! I know you’re still upset at your dad, but…”
“Upset! Taylor, I don’t think you understand. He cheated on my mom and left her and me to fend for ourselves. I’m pissed. I hate him! And now he wants to make it up to me?” Valarie snorted.
“Okay, you're right. He’s a jerk. But you’re not going to let him ruin this vacation, right?” Valarie sighed in defeat.
“No.”
“Good.” Taylor said, then started to talk about all the wonderful things they would do for the three days they were at the beach. Valarie ignored her. She wasn’t interested in what Taylor had to say right now. How could she be, when her mind was wandering back to things Taylor wouldn’t understand? Valarie’s father wasn’t the only bad memory that this place held for her.
Go, my little Valarie. And remember me,
The sea man.
Yes, Valarie remembered him. She remembered him to her parents, then remembered him to all the doctors and therapists they hired to figure out why she remembered. It wasn’t exactly the memory of the sea man that made her so upset, but the memories that went with it. All those hours of people telling her the sea man didn’t exist, that he was an imaginary friend created to help her cope with her parents bad marriage. The truth was, Valarie hadn’t even known about her parents’ issues until two years later, when she was eight. For the first few months, she continued to insist that the sea man was real. The docters continued to load her with medication. That was when she finally realized that her best option probably was to lie.
“So, Valarie, tell me about the sea man.”
“Oh, him? He’s just someone from a cartoon I saw.”
“Does he talk to you.”
“no.”
“Is he real?”
“I used to think he was, when I was little. But now I know better.”
After so many hours of repeating it, even Valarie began to believe that that night so long ago had only been a dream. There was no such thing as a sea man after all, and such stories were only for children, not girls turning eighteen.
“…and all the cute guys! That’s the best part, because a majority of guys at the beach are buff. All the nerdy, weak ones stay home, you know.” Valarie blinked, returning from her thoughts.
“What’s wrong with the guys that aren’t buff? I don’t like it when men look so big they’re about to pop out of their own skin. I like guys who are real.”
"Yeah, real ugly,"Taylor said, rolling her eyes. Valarie smacked her arm.
“No, real nice. All the guys you date are jerks.”
Taylor sighed fondly, “Ah yes, but they are hot jerks. And that’s just how I like ‘em.” Valarie laughed, shaking her head.
“Yeah, I know.” The taxi they were sitting in pulled to a stop, and the two girls slowly got out, their good mood melting in the tension.
Here it comes. The moment I’ve been trying to put off.
It’s time to see my dad.
They walked up to the small beach house that was Valarie’s childhood home. It looked just as she remembered, one story with a wide back porch and a little stone path leading down to the beach.
“Oh! You must be Valarie!” A young woman cried, flying down the steps from the front door and wrapping her arms around Valarie’s waist.
“Um, yes.” The woman was a petite blonde, her (obviously died) blonde hair was pulled up in a messy bun, and she was wearing a hot pink sundress. Valerie had to force herself not to flinch away.
So this is the woman my father left my mother for. This fake. She’s nothing like my mom. She’s certainly not as beautiful.
Well, she was kind of pretty, but not in the same way Valarie’s mom was. Where this woman was light, Valarie’s mom was dark, where this woman was thin, Valarie’s mom was curvy. Her mother’s friends used to joke that Valarie was a miniature version of her mother. There were a few differences, like how Valarie’s mom’s eyes were hazel and Valarie’s were a dark red-brown circled in silver.
“Valarie! I’m glad you’ve arrived, Linette and I were just starting to get worried.”
“Oh, Richard! Don’t tell her that!” the woman, Linette, pulled away to evaluate Valarie.
“Oh, you’re just as your father described you. Lovely, absolutely lovely.” There was an awkward pause, where Valarie kept glancing nervously back at Taylor, before her father cleared his throat.
“Well, why don’t I show you girls to your room?” He turned, and both Valarie and Taylor sighed in relief.
“That was awkward.” Taylor whispered.
“You think?”
“Valarie, my dear, I know.”
“…we kept your room as a guest bedroom. Your step sister, Amy, took our old guest room. She’s wanted to switch, but I said no. Too much work for two years, right?” Valarie’s father asked. Valarie and Taylor nodded in unison. Valarie couldn’t wait till she got to their room.
“We haven’t had many guests, so we’ve been using it as a storage room lately. I believe all your old things are still in there, Val.” Valarie winced. She didn’t like it when he called her by her childhood nickname. It made her feel as if everything was back to the way it had been, and it wasn’t. It could never be.
“Good. I wanted to take some of it home with me.” Emphasis on home. Her dad winced, pain flashing in his eyes. Valarie smiled.
Good, at least he feels a little guilty for leaving mom and I like that.
“I can find my way from here dad. It may not be my house anymore, but I still remember when it used to be.” Her voice was ice cold as she spoke, and she didn’t even turn to look at her father.
“Well, all right.” he said, his voice strained. Valarie strode forward, down the long hall and to the left. She opened the door and sighed. It was almost the same as she had left it. The bed, of course, was bigger, and there were wood floors rather than carpet, but otherwise everything was the same. Her little white rug was still to the left of the bed, the walls were still painted a pale blue. Some of pictures she’d drawn were still up, but in picture frames.
“So this is where you slept when you were a little girl. Nice view.” Taylor said, dropping her bag by the bay window that overlooked the beach.
“Yeah,” was all Valarie said. She was starting to feel guilty about what she’d said to her father. He may not have been the best dad in the world, but he was the only one she had. And even though he’d shattered Valarie’s heart when she was little, at least he was trying to fix it.
He deserved it. He left your mom and you for that slut. You don’t owe him anything, least of all forgiveness.
“You know, that was kind of harsh.” Taylor said softly, collapsing onto the bed beside Valarie.
“What?” Valarie replied, though she already knew.
“What you said to your dad. You know, he may not be an angel or anything, but he is your dad.”
“Yeah, I know. But…” Taylor playfully hit Valarie’s arm.
“Hey, I don’t need explanations, because I’m not here to judge. I’m here to check out the beach and spend time I the sun. But first, who’s that?” Taylor pointed at one of Valarie’s old drawings. It was of the beach, and in the distance there was a young man standing in the water. Valarie began unconsciously rubbing the shells on her charm bracelet.
“Oh. Just an imaginary friend. You know the deal.” Taylor’s brow furled.
“Hmmm, that’s one cool looking imaginary friend. Mine was a dragon with an elephant snout. Yours actually looks like a guy.”
“Weird, I know. But I got over him quickly.” A lie.
“Oh, well, let’s get down to the beach. I’m dying for some fun in the sun!” Taylor laughed, standing and walking over to the bathroom. Once she shut the door, Valarie leaned over, grabbing the picture from the wall and opening the frame. She took the drawing out, folding it and placing it in her pocket, before replacing the frame.
And yet, he still fills my dreams every night, the mysterious sea man. No amount of therapy could change that.
