Mi Puerto Rico.

The 'rich port' of the Caribbean;
Rich in culture and beauty.
An azure sky up high, covered by a canopy of clouds.
Turquoise waters down below, surrounded by dark topaz sand.

The waves of the water kiss the shore in hello.
The omnipotent tropical heat scorches the sand during the day.
But at night,
the cool gentle rain soothes their burns.

The Sun smiles at El Yunque as it rises in the east.
A happy reinita chirps at the jade palm trees on the sand (as she soars over the land).
Her vibrant personality cheers the spirits of everyone.
The evening nears;
The Sun is just about part and the sky's face is streaked with orange tears.
“Don't”, he says and comforts his distressed friend.
Then, with a reluctant goodbye, he leaves.

As the night approaches, the moon strokes the Sun's fiery cheek as they trade posts.
Her daughters, the stars, giggle, too eager to go to bed.
With a simple gesture, she calms them.
The observant little coquí (perched on a tree), though shy,
Ventures to offer Her Majesty his assistance.
He then starts singing his light lullaby to ease them all to sleep.

We Boricuas are of Spanish, African, and Taino descent.
We are a very animated people with a colorful culture.
We celebrate for the smallest of things and welcome each other as if we are all family.
When we need, we help each other to succeed.
When we want to, we work hard to achieve.

But the environment is suffering.
Things are not what they used to be:
There are still the sugarcane and coffee fields where farmers still work hard like in the old days.
Although skyscrapers and hotels seem to take the place of these nowadays.
A bit of copper and nickel here and there.
Yet there seems to be concrete everywhere.
But I know we will find hope somewhere.

But let's not have such bitter thoughts linger in our heads.
Oh,Puerto Rico!
Such an island!
Incredible diversity of flora and fauna.
There can't be possibly be a better example of paradise!

Although overshadowed by the continents
and overwhelmed by the oceans,
The light of Borinkén shines through the island
and through its people.
No one can compare the radiant beauty of Puerto Rico,
the Jewel of the Caribbean.

Hi,

This is so beautiful. Your imagery is wonderful and you create a great sense of place. The emotion of the speak comes through nicely without overwhelming the visual effect. I especially enjoyed:
"But at night,
the cool gentle rain soothes their burns."

and

"As the night approaches, the moon strokes the Sun's fiery cheek as they trade posts.
Her daughters, the stars, giggle, too eager to go to bed."

The ending is also great.

I think that stanzas six and seven take from the effect - the speaker's voice is too intrusive here, and I feel the blatant concern for the land would be better used in a separate poem where it could be given more room to breathe.

I'd read this aloud so that you can get a better sense of the sound of the piece and from doing this you will be able to tell which lines are too long and need to be cut or broken up.

A pleasure. Please P.M me if you have any questions.

Hope this helps,

Jas

This is a gorgeous poem, I just love the imagery you use, it's so colorful and descriptive.

"But the environment is suffering.
Things are not what they used to be:
There are still the sugarcane and coffee fields where farmers still work hard like in the old days.
Although skyscrapers and hotels seem to take the place of these nowadays."

I can certainly empathize with you and the way you feel about your country here, but maybe you could be a little more subtle? Of course, it's lovely either way and completely up to you.

Good work and keep writing!

@ Jasmine Hart :
Thanks so much! I worked real hard on it. The reason that stanzas six and seven don't match is because this was for a class assignment and I had to include something about the environment. So I wrote that part really fast...not exactly my best ones. Thanks for the help offer, I'll be sure to if I do! Love your sig, btw!

@ Emmaline49:
Thanks a lot! I tried to make as much of an image as I could (did that make sense?) in this poem. It's really a beautiful country. Thank you for the constructive criticism, I need it. Thanks again, and I will keep writing! Dig your sig too! lol !

This was an amazing piece of writting! I felt like I was really there on the beaches of Puerto Rico and looking out at the tropical waters. Sounds like a beautiful place and you did an excellent job transporting the readers there, it was also grammatically well done too! Keep up the great writing!

DropsOfSummer

THank you so much! That's really nice. I'm really glad you felt that way about it. Puerto Rico is a beeeeeeautiful place!
thank you again for the review! !