Triad

9 posts
User avatar
Gender None specified
Points 323
Reviews 7
You ought to think
or you'd cease to be.



Love
is so sought after,
so obsessed over,
ever so slaughtered,
martyred,
profaned,
and tarnished.

There are questions
the individual must never
stop asking.

You must never
stop asking.

Your thoughts
are the children
of your questions.

A beautiful metaphor
is that which ties:
a question,
a desire,
and love.

A chord of three,
is that which defines.

Do you see?

Look in a mirror
and see.

Who art thou?

'To love,'
'tis simply a verse;
no object,
no subject
supplied in its
confession.

The who is
all the more
critical,
as critical as love,
for 'tis who
that would
love and be loved.

I ask, therefore,
and pose a question:

Who art thou?

The who is created
with the chord of three,
so strongly bonded
to the spirit-
lonesome.

Longing, and
desperately clinging
to be answered.

A passion:
to desire,
to question,
to love.

From where,
to where,
when,
why,
who,
who,
who...

The philosopher's
question
is a confession of love.

The lover's
confession
is a burning passion.

The man's
desires
are the questions,
unanswered,
forgotten...

We have forgotten!

So much have
we forgotten!

The 'I'
has been
forgotten.

What is self?

Is it too much
to ask,
is there so much
more that
troubles you?

What is it?

What troubles you?

What in this damned
existence troubles you so much
that you can't question,
can't desire,
can't love?

Do you not see,
the chord is
you and I?

We are brought into
existence
with such a vivid
lack!

Despondency,
angst, and madness
is the nature of lack!

'Tis the nature of self!

A question without an answer.

A desire unfulfilled.

A love unrequited.

This is life,
our origin,
our chord!

It cries affectionately
for your audience,
why do you ignore it so?

What troubles you so?

What is so damned important
that you refuse your chord?

"How do we refuse it?"

I know not
how to answer.

For 'tis nature
that would confess:
"truth knows."

Do you not see?

You have been stricken with
great blindness.

No, there is nothing
for you to see!

Look in the mirror,
what do you see?

Indifference,
silence,
a perpetual
hum or a moan.

The mirror would fail
to reflect that
which ceases to exist!

The grey would swirl and engulf
all that is vivid and true.

The anguish and despair,
the hot tears of want,
where have they gone?

Your questions have
stopped,
you cease to desire,
and yet you demand love!

How empty your demands!

Empty, like an echo
that reminds the
void of the former self.

You seek value?

Stand upon the scale,
and it would scarcely budge!

If thoughts define,
then what thoughts
define you?

Empty and deprived,
devoid of want.

Devoid of what is
duly expressed.

The value of self
is determined by the
weight of one's chord.

Supply and demand!

Your lack of demand
profanes the love
that is ever supplied!

You tarnish love
in such a way!

To be blind to
your own lack,
'tis that which
tramples the grace
manifest in red,
in death!

The truth is weighed
and measured worthy
ONLY BY ITS QUESTION!

What value is there
to an answer
without her
question?

What value is there
to the lover
without his
beloved?

What value is there
to food,
to warmth,
to pleasure,
to everything,
without desire?

Who art thou?

You were created,
with eternity in your hearts.

What is eternity?

For man's chord of three
is that which is
eternal.

Our cup is bottomless.

We desire
to fill our
empty cup!

Answer me!
Fulfill!
Love!


Such are the outcries of the spirit!
Such are the haunting
demands of my soul.

So we die,
we rightfully die
a million deaths
in absence of truth.

The angst compels
us to question,
to desire,
to love.

Where is your angst?!
Where is your anguish?!

The anguish of lack?

















In silence
we wallow.

In self-pity
we wallow.

The delusions of
now cloud the eternity
that we are condemned
to dream.

So, dream.

Dream of stars,
of seas, of heaven,
of hell, of love
and above all else
dream of truth.

We sleep with the promise
of tomorrow and our waking
is our declaration to hope.

There is no hope
without lack.

Think, therefore,
of who thou art
or you'd cease to be.
Oh... my sick, sick soul!




User avatar
Gender Female
Points 998
Reviews 30
Wow, I don't really write that much poetry (not really my thing) but that was absolutely spectacular!
This bit really hit home for me . . .

Love
is so sought after,
so obsessed over,
ever so slaughtered,
martyred,
profaned,
and tarnished.


Keep up the good work!




User avatar
Gender Female
Points 5010
Reviews 133
Not only you'd make a great reviewer, turned out that you're a great writer as well.

My finest compliments for what you have here!
Julie, a sucker for romance, historical fashion, medieval fairs and blues music. Add photography and you already know me 50%. The rest of me you'll discover through my writings and my photos.

my fictionpress
my greatest project, a history-inspired romance




User avatar
Gender Female
Points 1802
Reviews 261
Hello, hello.

I love this. This reminded me so much of my philosophy classes. I had an urge to answer all of the questions posed in this poem with Heidegger and Marcel. (Because I am a complete nerd and I have exams coming up.) I think it's time to put down my philosophy handouts and focus on poetry.

I like poems that make me think, and this did just that. I love the voice of this poem. It's very insistent, almost in-your-face at times. I can imagine a person grabbing someone by the collar and insisting that he re-evaluate his life.

You seek value?

Stand upon the scale,
and it would scarcely budge!

If thoughts define,
then what thoughts
define you?


I adore the lines I quoted above. I would love to read more from you.:)

--Nixie
All that I'm after is a life full of laughter, as long as I'm laughing with you.:)




User avatar
Gender Female
Points 2830
Reviews 114
You ought to think
or you'd cease to be.

Did you write this part or quote it?
If you want to be a great writer, don't think about what you're going to write, just write it.

I'm a huge fan of writers block! When your brain halts, with no direction for where you should go, it gives you threads. All you have to do is pull and unravel the story you're meant to write.




User avatar
Gender None specified
Points 323
Reviews 7
Dear Ms. Butterfinger,

First and foremost, I thank you dearly for reading my work. I must confess, it does my poor soul a great deal of good that others are listening to its sad, confusing cries (T.T). Concerning your question about the lines of my poem: I wrote this part and as far as I'm aware, it was not quoted from anywhere. I am sure the idea isn't revolutionary in any regards; nevertheless, the phrase is purely my creation (be it for better or for worse)! Well, I hope that answered your question! I am not sure if this is the place to answer questions or not (I'm rather new to this site), but just in case I will find some way for you to reach this. Thank you for your precious time, effort, and all-else.

Sincerely,
J
Oh... my sick, sick soul!




User avatar
Gender Male
Points 9094
Reviews 120
There are parts of this piece that really shine, your discusion of love, your more powerful imagery and almost philisophical conversation style of piece, but its so jumbled. I feel like I read three dif poems tossed together. The moments of repetition (who, who, etc) just don't gel with the overall tone, the same goes for the italicized thought lines, they don't add anything! I want to really like this but all this stuff is holding me back.
Then there's the length. Poetry is not a form of writig to ramble in. Every word needs to count, every word needs to contribute to the idea and flow (another area the piece stumbles in, there's no cohesion to it, it jumps from lne to line without connecting or keeping a constant rhythm or structure, which even the most vibrant of prose must do) or else you're just spinning your wheels.

I'm not ging to say back to the drawing board or some crap like that. When you sit down to edit leave your ego or penchant for going on at the door (I used to have the same problem back when I still bothered with poetry) and write a tight, but still intelligent (and this is an intelligent piece) piece that reaches not to just you, but to your readers!

Good luck, and I look forward to reading more of your work.




Random avatar
Gender Female
Points 2647
Reviews 313
This piece was phenomenal... It had me from the beginning to the end. The impact you had with your words... At first for me, it started out soft, and by the end it was just screaming. Until that break, then it went soft again. Sort of like the reader was panting, trying to catch their breath. It was beautifully written from start to finish. I really don't have anything bad to say about it... a genuine piece.
TylynTyrannosaurus<3 (tydecker777)




User avatar
Gender Female
Points 5010
Reviews 133
Dear J,

Welcome back! I was going to post this on your wall, but since it has to do with this poem, I think I should post it as a review.

I was reading your "Triad" once again. I should tell you, it has so many philosophical ideas that I've been thinking of before. The more times I read this poem, the more I realise how many ideas you put in it.

"We sleep with the promise
of tomorrow and our waking
is our declaration to hope."

So true! The fact that we continue our lives and don't decide to put an end to it is such a proof for not having lost hope. Oddly enough, it makes me feel better. The world has not lost hope yet. Me neither.

Although, I'd love to know what you had in mind when you wrote: "(The philosopher's / question is) a confession of love." Was it somewhere close to the idea of love/thirst of knowledge?

"Your thoughts
are the children
of your questions."

So true! Questions are born from thoughts, if we did not think at all, where would we be? We'd probably still think that Earth is the centre of our universe. We becoem less ignorant when we ask ourselves questions. I remember whenever my grandparents watch a documentary on TV and they take what they hear as being real. They've never questioned reality, because they've never had time to think about it either... they've spent their lives working hard for our family. I could go on and on with this subject, but my common sense tells me to stop here.

"A passion:
to desire,
to question,
to love."

I think you've described the word "passion" perfectly here. It all starts with desire, than turns into questions (in the sense of doubts).

I can't tell you what reading this again (three times) has done to my brain. I've been pretty much consumed by thoughts and questions while reading this. I think I might've gotten my inspiration back to continue my works.

Best of luck with your future projects (if there are any -- and I do hope there are! :P)
Julie
Julie, a sucker for romance, historical fashion, medieval fairs and blues music. Add photography and you already know me 50%. The rest of me you'll discover through my writings and my photos.

my fictionpress
my greatest project, a history-inspired romance



'The Answer to the Great Question... Of Life, the Universe and Everything... Is... Forty-two,' said Deep Thought, with infinite majesty and calm.
— Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy