In my world

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In my world, there is only me, myself and I
Three companions I love the most
I am everything I am and more
In my own place of fantasy

No one else knows there
And the keys to it's entrance, no one has
There great riches abound
For there lay the hidden treasures of my heart

I'm laid bare to myself
But shut to the world
No fear would arise
And there would be no limitations

In my world, I would be lonely
My heart would grow faint and loony
On the road I would trek, the streets would be empty
And worst of all, my life would be nothing but vain.
Last edited by dolwright on Tue Aug 09, 2011 6:35 pm, edited 3 times in total.
'when I'm gone, my words will remain...
your word is a weapon, either of destruction or re-construction, whatever you make of it,
It's your choice.'




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By the way you made a typo error ("everythinmg"). In terms of language it is great, but I don't really see much flow. I feel that some of the lines were too long and had too much to say. I think you should maybe take away a few words that don't need to be there. Other than that, good job.




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Good one. Those 'i's better be capitalized. :-) And the word 'companies' sounds, you know, a bit less poetic in such kind of a poetry, if you get what I mean to say. So, maybe, that part can be edited. Otherwise, the poem is fine. Keep writing and keep getting better with time. :-)
Imperfection is beauty,
Madness is genius,
And it's better to be absolutely ridiculous
Than to be absolutely boring... :-D




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CCCCCOOOOOOOOOLLLLLLL!!!!!! Sorry. :) I completely understand where your coming from, and am happy to have found someone who thinks the same way I do. :D



You'd better wise up, Pony... you get tough like me and you don't get hurt. You look out for yourself and nothing can touch you, man.
— Dallas Winston, The Outsiders