He watched her as she cried over his deathbed, her tears falling unto his lifeless hand that she held reverently in hers. Her bright halo of blond hair caressed her tear-streaked face as she bowed her head to mourn him. He thought it strange that after years of ignorant displays of hatred and anger she had come the moment she received the nurse’s call informing her of his sudden death. He did not despair that she would forget him now that he had left the earth to walk amongst the spirits in the otherworld, nor did he mourn his own passing; instead he rejoiced. His memory would live on in the hearts of those he loved and who loved in return.
He rested a translucent hand upon her shoulder, attempting to comfort her even knowing that she could feel nor see any of what he did. His mind flew back to a thought where he idly thought that should his brother get a chance like this there were many places he would like to be, one of them including the floor beneath a woman’s skirts. He chuckled idly at the memory of his brother’s insatiable lust for female company but immediately it was doused in the bitter-sweet remembrance that he would never again chastise his brother for such actions; he could but watch and hope that his brother would sober himself as he moved throughout life.
The woman at his bedside raised her head as though she’d felt his touch on her shoulder, she glanced back towards the door but her eyes did not see him - they instead looked through him. He sadly shook his head at his own foolish assumption that she could see him, and instead she turned back to his lifeless corpse. It wouldn’t be long before he was moved to the morgue.
“I’m so sorry, Alex. I should have been there when you first called me that night; the night you told me of your sickness,” she whispered, her pain leeching the life from her usual tone.
“No, Jess. You shouldn’t have to apologize. It was my fault that I took you for granted, that I let you fall in love with me as I did with you and then pretend that I hadn’t a care,” he looked at her, his pleading look begging her forgiveness but it was futile. She could neither hear nor see him.
“I should have been there,” she repeated. “Maybe if I had, I could have spared you the hurt of letting you believe that I hated you,” her voice cracked, the pain ever-present.
“I never thought you hated me,” he answered her.
“I never did hate you, though,” she said softly, almost to herself. “I loved you, like the first time we spoke in the hall of the apartment building- I knew I loved you, Alex,”
“Please, Jess. Don’t take the blame for all of this, please,” he begged her, pleading for her to understand that it hadn’t been her fault.
She shook her head, bringing his cold hand to her lips and kissing the back of it; leaving a pink-tinge of lip-gloss upon his lifeless flesh.
Alex swallowed against the sadness that rose in his throat, like the bitter taste of bile as it tainted his mouth. He watched her helplessly, knowing that he had to leave soon - to escape the pain of watching the living-world in his ever-present state of death. He was a spirit, useless to help those he loved.
A tear fell from his face, a wave of guilt and despair washed through him as something tugged painfully at his gut. Another wave of vertigo swept him nearly off of his transparent feet, and he glanced down at himself to see the faint image of his body flicker and fade. He was a shade, a mere memory now. Alex gripped tenaciously to the knowledge that he would be remembered, that Jess would be fine in a world without him; perhaps better. That his brother would mature without his guiding, that he would learn from his mistakes and that he himself, Alex, would be able to watch his loved ones become the people he would be proud of.
Alex felt the agonizing pull once more, and he had just enough time to glance back at Jess and smile. “I love you, Jess, forever and always. Don’t forget me,” his voice rang out, and Jess raised her head as though she’d heard him. Her tear-streaked face brought a pang of stronger pain to his heart, this time.
Darkness tinged the edges of his vision, turning the world around him a dull monotone of grey and black. The blackness cajoled to him, calling to him and telling him that he would be better off where he was being taken, that he would be better off where he could not watch the ones he loved; so that he would not suffer.
Immediately as the black swallowed him, he had the strangest sense that he was falling - and after what felt like an entire lifetime, there was a burst of searing pain and the light of flickering flames orange and red flames. His eyes flew open, their blue depths searching the place he had fallen to; the place he had been condemned to. Alex’s heart pounded against his rib-cage as he realized where he had come to be, and the sound of hell’s screaming occupants brought forth a quickening of his heartbeat, and a wrench to his gut.
“I forget no sin made by the likes of man,” it was the voice of a thousand screaming souls come together, the sound of nails grating over a chalk-board.
The young man screamed in terror and agony as the flames ate at his semi-corporeal flesh, granting him the beginning of eternal torment at Satan’s mercy.
