A girl with a song

There is a song in this girl,
A song filled with music.
A song filled with ambition and excitement.
And sadly, a song filled with fear.

Terror claws at her song,
Damaging it as each day passes,
Making this precious song less valuable,
Filling it with an overflowing of fear.

Dear God, set this song free.
Break the shackles of fear
And bring forth a new song.
A song of redemption

this poem is cool and for some reason i feel the song really represnt this girls heart, which makes it the better to read a poem like this

This is really good! you are an exceptianal poet. The only mistake i have found in this wonderfull poem is you wrote son instead of song, but thats just a typo easy mistake.
IF you not already you should join a poetry club on here it gives you more publicidy on here.
Anyway keep up the good work you rock!

To: Creative
I initially started writing this poem using the word "heart" but replaced it with "song" instead, thought it sounded better and I wanted to create the impression that the song is such a big part of this girl's life that it is as vital in her life as her heart is... well, something like that

To: WRITINGNEON
Thank you for the advice I fixed the typo and am going to look for a poetry club right now

There is a song in this girl,
A song filled with music. I really liked how you made this line: how something may have/be a song, but not necessarily be music. It's like, "this person has a real song, not just something fakey. Nice one.
A song filled with ambition and excitement.
And sadly, a song filled with fear. I'm not sure the 'sadly' is necessary here. You could maybe drop the 'and' too.

Terror claws at her song,
Damaging it as each day passes,
Making this precious song less valuable,
Filling it with an overflowing of fear. You've already said fear, maybe find a different synonym?

Dear God, set this song free.
Break the shackles of fear I would say the same thing about this 'fear', but if you changed the previous one it might be enough to break up the monotony of using the same word multiple times.
And bring forth a new song.
A song of redemption

I am such a music person, so this poem had some real meaning to me. I really liked this. Sometimes I feel this way, I could totally relate to this. It was amazing. Greeaattt!

"And sadly, a song filled with fear." I've used the words "and sadly" to show that the fact that the song is filled with fear is a tragedy because it prevents the girl's song from being heard.

I thought of replacing the second "fear" with "terror" to show that the person is now even more afraid to sing (the ultimate message of this poem)

Thanks for your review

This is lovely and haunting and mysterious all at the same time.
I love how you used the idea of a song and turned it into a metaphor (or at least, that's how I viewed the poem). I also love your subtle use of figurative language, it gives the poem a lot of depth and detail.

Hey desire, you're from South Africa or you like just live there? I guess this should be on your wall not review. Sorry, I'm jst a little too lazy:P
There is a song in this girl,A song filled with music.A song filled with ambition and excitement.
Is the song her hope or inspiration?
A song of redemption
Nice ending I really like the way you pray to God. Really nice poem. I\m surprised of how good an impression you can create in such less no. of words.

Hello You! I'm Demoness and I'd like to give you my opinion on this little piece of yours.

I can't live without music.. If my heart is what keeps me alive.. well then music is my heart. And this girl is a song... AWESOME! it was simple but yet meaningful and flawless. That's it.. It was AMAZING.. I LOVED it

Good Luck & Keep Writing

// Hugs and Hearts from Demoness

Hi! I'm Amelia and I'm going to give your piece a quick review!
This poem was very well-written. It contained some lovely imagery. It flowed well, and read smoothly. I really enjoyed it!

My only Niptick is that your poem was a little too words in places, and you cluttered it up with prim and propper conjunctive words. I hope that makes sense, and, I know this review is totally rubbish, but just so long as you know that I really liked reading your piece.

I can't wait for more!
- Amelia