A Little Thing Called Life

Night confronted her adversary,
Intrepid,
A face of darkness dancing among the stars that brightened it.
There he stood,
Undaunted,
Head blazing with the fires of Hell.
Commencing words slithered through the air:
Es gibt nichts, und ich bereue nichts.
No longer teetering on the edge of sanity
As these few words ignited the whole of eternity.

Heads pounded and hearts fluttered amidst the confusion- inducing supernova of
Existence and non- existence.
Balance, upset.
Screams erupted from the pits of hell and
Bells tolled in the distance,
Shattering the shield of perception.
All bearings,
All hope,
All sense,
Lost.

From the sky dripped tears of redemption,
Coating the destroyed with meaning:
A revitalized army of beauty.
From them radiated the light of fulfillment,
Enveloping all in its wake.
All too quickly, though,
Salvation disappeared alongside transgression
Within the profundity of a shallow mind;
The fate of all that humanity had ever known,
Dancing on the periphery of conclusion,
Reverting back to a cliff of sane uncertainty,
Reverting back to a prolonged decision.

This is beautiful. This is beyond living life. This is like having an out of body experience. I love love love the first stanza. Wow. I just joined this, but I'm sure the person who made this site absolutely beams when he sees works like this:) This is the kind of poem that makes people glad to be able to read.I like the german too. Very Creative. And the way the one word stanza's are, well, worded, makes ma gasp. Beautiful.

I don't get along with poetry. So please ignore anything that sounds odd to you, because I have no idea what I'm talking about.

Night confronted her adversary,
Intrepid,
A face of darkness dancing among the stars that brightened it.
There he stood,
Undaunted,
Head blazing with the fires of Hell.

-"Intrepid" and "dancing" aren't working well together. I mean, I see how it creates a great image, but it's really outshone by the last line above. You use "dancing" later, anyway, so I'd suggest replacing it with something else in this verse.

Heads pounded and hearts fluttered amidst the confusion- inducing supernova of
Existence and non- existence.

-First off, "confusion-inducing" messes up the flow. Badly. And it just so happens that it's confusion-inducing itself. In my opinion, this line would read much better without it. Second, you used the word "supernova" to great effect, and I think it's an exceptional metaphor. But if you go to the beginning of the line ("Heads pounded and hearts fluttered") you find something that's so obviously bland. Personally, I don't have a problem with cliché. But when you put an overused phrase next to such a great metaphor, it becomes extremely noticeable. Just something to consider.

Screams erupted from the pits of hell and

-(You used "Hell" earlier, instead of "hell".) I can't say why this is bothering me. It's a bit contrived, I think. It just isn't up to par with the rest of this poem.

All bearings,
Lost.
All hope,
Lost.
All sense,
Lost.

-Repetition. It can be powerful if you use it well, especially in prose. But poetry is repetition in itself, theme, rhyme schemes, meter -- even in free verse, you have an underlying rhythm. The thing about repetition is that when you use it over and over, it loses its effectiveness. I think a more powerful ending to this verse would be

All bearings,
All hope,
All sense,
Lost.

because "Lost" gains prominence. When you use the same word three times, in the same manner, we know exactly what to expect. And that can be boring as well as tiring.

Salvation disappeared alongside transgression

-I don't think "alongside" was really the word you were looking for... At least, it doesn't sound right in this line.

Within the profundity of a shallow mind;

-I love this line.

Reverting back to a cliff of sane uncertainty,
Reverting back to a prolonged decision.

-I really like how you tied it back to the beginning. (The repetition works here. It's poetic.)

Alright. I'm supposed to be doing a different review right now, but for some reason I ventured into the poetry forums. And I'm glad I did.

You created a world here. It's just so... majestic? I wasn't all that sure about the German, but once I went and translated it, I realized that it's almost the heart of this poem. It symbolizes it, a dignified touch of what we don't know, but which carries more meaning than we could understand if we did. Really, I can't describe this. I feel like I have blurry vision and I'm just not seeing everything that's there. Nonetheless, I thoroughly enjoyed this. You've got talent. Great job.

From the sky dripped tears of redemption,
Coating the destroyed with meaning:
A revitalized army of beauty.
From them radiated the light of fulfillment,
Enveloping all in its wake.
All too quickly, though,
Salvation disappeared alongside transgression
Within the profundity of a shallow mind;
The fate of all that humanity had ever known,
Dancing on the periphery of conclusion,
Reverting back to a cliff of sane uncertainty,
Reverting back to a prolonged decision.

Good poem, I like what's in quotes the best.