Trouble, My Favorite (Chapter 2: Warehosue)

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Chapter 2: Warehouse


I awake to a screaming headache and slight weakness. My stomach churns at the smell of blood.

"Waa-Huh?" I open my eyes; many questions come to mind. Where am I? Where is Jake? How long have I been asleep? I search the area around me. This is not my home. What is going on!? I soon realize that a rusted, old warehouse of some sort has taken the place of my house, where I should be peacefully sleeping. I can't hear a thing. Have i lost my sense of hearing all together? Screaming seems like the only way to test it, even with a headache from hell. Letting out a terrifying shriek, I wince in pain. Excruciating pain. Pain that makes me want to scream even more. That's honestly the least of my worries though. Either way, it was an idiotic idea, but it did insure I could hear. It's just quiet, too quiet. Not that I was complaining, but when you're alone, in the dark...there's room to complain. And not once during this time did I ever think of jsut leaving. Until now, of course. It was as easy as can be. I mean, there was the door. Right there, just a few feet away. It was inviting, but there was something more that kept me here. Something I could not explain no matter how hard I wanted to. Not even if I tried. Beginning to put two and two together, I started to shiver violently.

. . .


Two years ago, a group of kids who went to my high school were murdered in this exact building. I didn't know any of the kids, nor did I recognize them, but I believed the story. I remember the building though, from photographs. So intriguing as it stood tall and mighty in an old field by itself. But where had I seen the photos? Either way, a week after the kids dissapearance, police started to investigate. Someone nearby recalled seeing the kids being led to this building by a mysterious man he hadn't seen from around town. And it was a small town where everyone knew each other. The next day, that man and over five police officers were found dead. Since then, no one has dare entered because each time someone does, they never return. I'd be the first. Whatever or whoever patrols this building is a killing machine, that's for sure. And yet, I was determined to shut it down, even if I died trying. Now of course, there was no real killing machine, but instead a serial killer perhaps.

Once again I had drifted off into a deep sleep.

Sometime later, much later, after awakening I realized something I hadn't before. Nobody had ever been killed in this building, let alone ever been inside this place. There were no kids, or mysterious men, or photos. No police, no feild, no nothing. To the ouside world, the warehouse did not exist. Only in my dreams had I seen this place. Along with everything and everyone who was involved. So what--was I hallucinating? Or just dreaming?

**Chapter 3: Remembering will be posted tomorrow (Friday, July 21, 2011) or the following week. Thank you for reading. Please comment/like/subscribe. --JasperSkye

Thanks to Anthony James H. for giving me the support and strength I needed. I love you.........
..::JASPERSKYE::..




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Hello again, Jasper! :D

So this was a crazy twist I did not see coming. I'm guessing this is a horror story though 'cause she's in a creepy warehouse. o: I had some more questions pop in my head, so I'll be sure to list them out for you. Also, there were more spelling/grammar mistakes. If you check out the Knowledge Base (found under Community Forums at the top), there are a bunch of articles by fellow members which are extremely helpful in understanding grammar. Check it out! I find myself venturing into the KB a few times myself if just for reminders. :D

When Rebecca wakes up, she finds herself in a warehouse of which she's only seen the outside. At least, I assume this since she saw the house in photographs (even if they were in her dream). Something tells me no one went inside to snap photos of the rooms and live to tell the tale. XD So she's only seen the outside of the warehouse. How did she know she was in that particular warehouse? If she's just paranoid, that may be something to mention or work into your story! That she's someone who gets paranoid easily. Otherwise, not quite sure how that works out!

The other question I had is why she suddenly felt the need to destroy this mysterious horror inside the warehouse. A normal person would just try to get out. Rebecca, judging from last chapter, didn't seem like someone who was very daring. In fact, I find her more of a scaredy-cat! The way she hides herself from the outside world, locks herself in her room or bathroom. So her deciding she had to go save the world from this horror story seemed very out of character for her.

Then there's the end! It's all a dream! Ooga booga! I feel like that could be foreshadowed earlier on in the story. In fact, you could take a whole lot more time before she's whisked away to the warehouse. Take the time to build your characters, build the suspense, and foreshadow what's to come. If it's all in her head, maybe mention nightmares she's having or her paranoia or believe in the supernatural. Whatever! Otherwise, the dream-thing seems very out of place in your story. D:

I can certainly tell you have an idea in your head though, and it's definitely coming out on paper. I can see what's happening or what's going through your head as you write this, so very cool!

Keep writing!

Jabber, the One and Only!
I make my own policies.




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Hi Jasper!
So this was a relatively short chapter as I'm sure you're aware but it certainly wasn't lacking in information. 518 words isn't really enought to justify beginning a new chapter though. Aim for between 2,000 and 5,000 words.
Having said that, I have seen chapters with a lot less words, only there were more of them in the book. Just make sure to do your story justice.
Good luck!



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