“You look a bit different.” As if. I’m pretty sure I've been moody for about a month. But Grace, being the kind person she is, gives me a curious glance as if she actually expects me to respond. I can’t wait till she gets bored of my depressing attitude. I’m a wet blanket, except I’m the one that’s already been left out in the rain. I’ve ruined every one's party. Now I’ve got to wait out the storm all by myself.
I’d been born special, born to stand out. I still do. But in “the bad way”. I’d been born optimistic, ready to overcome any challenges. It’s funny how those who are ready to overcome challenges haven’t actually gotten any. I got one. And now I’m here...
I pay attention in school. Unlike most depressed kids, I find school interesting. I like watching people. Observing their habits, their wants, and petty troubles. I like to try to ferret out their secrets. Ironic, considering I try to keep them from figuring out mine. I’m not ignored by my classmates, in fact I’m talk about a lot. I’m like their little book of Mad Libs- they have about a billion stories they’ve made up about my life: I was raped, my parents divorced, I was dumped by Kevin Reade (who I’ve never spoken to), my beautiful (and non-existent) sister died..and a bunch of other tragedies.
Grace interrupted my thought with, “Ready to travel into worlds unknown?” She’s talking about my constant daydreaming. I’ve got quite the imagination. Maybe I should’ve started writing those stupid sad poems that every other gloomy teen does.
***
Its a beautiful place. A quiet refuge from the tension that lives in my home, and casts a frown across my parent’s faces every time they see mine. I haven’t given the empty field a name yet, but I soon will. It’s peaceful, and holds all the secrets meant for no one to ever see. The grass is a pale tan color; the product of a rainless spring.
She crossed the barren field like a ghost, invisible but clear for me to see. She always smiled when she saw me. She was the secret I wanted no one to find out but I wanted everyone to understand. Truly, I think I’ve always wanted people to know, but I’ve always been afraid of telling them. I hope that one day when she passes into the forest, the shadows, someone else will see and understand.
