the light i saved from the dark

I ran after her, but she didn't stop. I called out her name and she gave no answer:
"Alex! Alex! Alexandra!!"
I chased her and all that was in my view was her blonde hair bouncing as she ran. I knew why she never looked back and it was because if she faced me, i would see the tears in her eyes.
"Alex! Please don't do this to me! Stop! Alex!....i love you!"
At these three words she came to a sudden halt and turned to face me with those warm hazel eyes that once twinkled. My chestnut brown hair started blowing from the sea winds, as we stood on the beach of Vermont, Montana. She came closer and closer as my chest started pounding. Her warm lips touched mine and i glued myself to her, afraid to let go. I felt her tears wetting my cheeks and realized this was the end.
"I'm sorry James but this is the end of our forever. You heard my father, were leaving tomorrow and you are no good for me"
These words sinked in my brain and i knew it really was the end. I pursed my lips and let go of her dress. I felt a bursting of pain in my throat and i put my hands around her round face that had the features of Aphrodite. She pecked my cheek for 10 seconds and i let my lips run down her neck line. I realized something and stopped myself from making this goodbye any longer. I dropped my hands loose and turned.
"I guess it is the end Lex. See you"
I lay on the soft sand of the beach with my eyes closed. I opened them and looked to my right where i saw a clock ticking. The illusion disappeared and i sat up in my bed. I glanced at the clock again; it was almost 7 o' clock. My feet touched the carpet and i walked to the indoor bathroom.
I washed up and but on my cargoes and dark blue jumper. The black converses were in my hands as i rushed down stairs for breakfast. Malcolm was already sitting at the table munching his cereal loudly.
"Could you eat any louder?" i questioned him.
" Yeah i could, could u pass me the box, the cereal sounds louder without milk" he replied.
I nudged him. Malcolm looked a lot like me, chestnut brown hair with a pair of dark brown eyes and a small nose. Mom said we both had dad's smile for which we both received plenty of compliments. Malcolm still had a lot more of dad in him whereas i had mom. He always reminded me how dad looked. Ten years ago when i was 9, dad passed away in a car accident, leaving me to take care of Malcolm and look after mom. Back then Malcolm was a baby and mom was a young 25 year old. She never looked for a fatherly figure replacement as she thought Malcolm was too young to realize anyone taking his father's place.
I always looked out for him as my mom made him my responsibility. Malcolm meant everything to me and past his annoying habits he was one great little brother.
" James...stop nudging your little brother. Malcolm honey,please chew with your mouth closed. James, you have to drop Malcolm off to school today, i'm tacking my car to the hardware store to pick up some appliances" mom said.
"Sure thing mom" i replied.
I dropped Malcolm off and we fisted each other goodbye. In a ten minutes drive i arrived in the High School parking lot. I eyed an empty spot and as i brought the car in reverse there came something in view that i dreaded. Dressed in tight skinny jeans and a low cut top with a black cropped jacket. She couldn't look any trampier than that and in the summers i regretted speaking to soon.
"Damn....Angel again" i whispered in my car. I took a deep breath and slid my bag over my shoulder as i stepped out to meet her eager gaze.
"Hey James! Wow! Blue is so Your color! Do you like what i'm wearing?" she batted her eyes and posed putting a hand on the black hood of my car.
I laughed a little as i observed her.
"Hi Angel. Thank you...i guess it is my favorite jumper. Um angel, its below 15 degrees so i suggest you wear something 'More' warm."
She giggled in a fake manner and came close to me. I backed up and she started touching my hair as i tried to shake her off. Angle was a popular girl who was rich and threw pool parties. Appearence wise she was a typical blonde who wore makeup and short skirts to attract attention. Her hobbies which i knew of included tripping over me in class and invading my personal space.
As i backed up to create space between us,i tousled my hair in order to remove her's .
"So...how about you and i go out for a drink?" she asked
I felt extremely uncomfortable.
"Uhh...i am so sorry...but uh..i have to go somewhere tomorrow and i have this project with Alec and........uh i mean, its' a busy week soo maybe later" i smiled.
"Ugh! why do you work so hard?" she asked as sh came closer and ran a finger around my face.
"Jamey...you need to step out of the house. It's been over 3 months since Alex left you baby".
Her name made me furious and i grabbed her wrist that touched my face and gently let it loose by her side.
"I'm sorry Angel, i'm not interested" i said.
I locked my car and walked to class. It was cold, it was wet and the day has just gone drearier.

guys if you'r wondering how i sketched it quite realisticely and its because i've heard these words while loosing love and having girls falling over and all that other stuff. hope u guys like it OH AND ITS TO BE CONTINUED

Hey James!
I'll review your work today!
So this was nice, the story is nice, I liked a it a lot. But there is still room for improvement here so let's get this started. =)

I noticed various things in your story. One of the most important ones was the spelling, you have to proofread before posting, it always helps. For example the I was never capitalized except for the first sentence, the I's were never capitalized.

i would see the tears in her eyes.

i glued myself to her

My feet touched the carpet and i walked to the indoor bathroom.

You see in the three examples I have just given you? You didn't capitalize the I's and that is really important and basic for a writer, to use proper spelling and grammar. So be careful with that, because this went on through the whole story.

You heard my father, were leaving tomorrow

I guess you meant we're not were, this is a common mistake, we all make this mistake once in a while but we have to be careful once it comes to our writing. Remember to always check your spelling and grammar.

These words sinked sank in my brain and i knew it really was the end. I pursed my lips and let go of her dress. I felt a bursting of pain in my throat and i put my hands around her round face that had the features of Aphrodite. She pecked my cheek for 10 seconds and i let my lips run down her neck line. I realized something and stopped myself from making this goodbye any longer. I dropped my hands loose and turned.

This is nice, but I'd like to see more visceral feelings put into this because this is a breakup right? Don't just describe what was happening to your body in that moment, describe what he was feeling, his deepest feelings. I believe he felt a lot more than pain in his throat. Make us relate to that.
Also if this was a dream and it seemed so real to him, how is it that he woke up in the morning as if nothing had happened and it means absolutely nothing? If it affected him as it says that affected him at the end of the story, there must have been some kind of reaction to that dream.

I washed up and but on my cargoes and dark blue jumper. The black converses were in my hands as i rushed down stairs for breakfast. Malcolm was already sitting at the table munching his cereal loudly.

Something I noticed you were doing throughout the story was listing things, don't list things. Don't list actions, because the narration gets boring. Try to add some description of the background there. by the way you really have to work on background description because right now the background is black and white with nothing else so work on that. Background description helps even to set the mooed of your story.

" Yeah i could, could u pass me the box, the cereal sounds louder without milk" he replied.

First thing, the I. Second thing, there is no question mark after box. So get rid of the comma and put a question mark in there. Third thing, the punctuation inside the quotation marks, place a comma after milk.

I nudged him. Malcolm looked a lot like me, chestnut brown hair with a pair of dark brown eyes and a small nose. Mom said we both had dad's smile for which we both received plenty of compliments. Malcolm still had a lot more of dad in him whereas i had mom. He always reminded me how dad looked. Ten years ago when i was 9, dad passed away in a car accident, leaving me to take care of Malcolm and look after mom. Back then Malcolm was a baby and mom was a young 25 year old. She never looked for a fatherly figure replacement as she thought Malcolm was too young to realize anyone taking his father's place.

Now what I like about this paragraph is the description and how he related it to his father. But just one thing, I'd like to know how that smile was and what it showed? Did it show happiness? Was it calming? Just that.
Another thing, you threw everything at us in one paragraph. Don't do that, it might bore the reader and you can't expand the description you're using because you're only throwing us information instead of letting us discover it. So try to work on this paragraph because you could break the paragraph into two: one being the descriptions and the other one the story of the father.

" James...stop nudging your little brother. Malcolm honey,please chew with your mouth closed. James, you have to drop Malcolm off to school today, i'm tacking my car to the hardware store to pick up some appliances" mom said.
"Sure thing mom" i replied.

Again the I's and the punctuation. You need a comma after appliances and a comma after replied.

I eyed an empty spot and as i brought the car in reverse there came something in view that i dreaded

This sentence could really use a comma, some pausing between the two ideas would serve well when you have to read it.

As for the dialogue, the dialogue is not doing too much for me, is not helping and it even sounds a bit flat. So work on your dialogue, try thinking of each of your character's personalities and make that show in the way the speak and how they say things. Dialogue is very important when it comes to characterization.

So you've got a really nice idea going on here, it just needs some improvements. So...Hope I helped.
XOXO
Pudin

Hey, so this was pretty good... but you NEED TO EDIT!! I'm sorry, but it drove me crazy seeing you type lowercase i's. I should always be capitalized! There were also several places where you were missing commas or had mispelled words. So, please, read through this once or twice and fix all the typos and such. Aside from that, I did like this. I couldn't figure out though if the beginning part was a dream or not. Did Alex leave, or just break up with him? And in the end when he told Angel he was hanging out with Alec, was that supposed to be Alex and he was still hanging out with her, or was it some other kid? Becuase if it was another kid, you should find a name that isn't so close to Alex. Also, I feel like this seemed rather distracted. What was the point of the story? You said you were going to continue it, which is good, but for now you describe a lot about James, but not enough. You bring up Malcolm and James' family, but I don't see how this fits into the short story part of it. Either way, it was interesting, and kept me hooked. If there is more, I would love to read it, as long as you half capital I's. Anyway, good story, keep writing! I hope my review made sense...