Letters To My Sister.

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‘She don’t want to go outside tonight.’
Mummy told you to go play outside on Christmas day.
I have my presents
You have each new day.
“Stupid bald girl,” Mummy told you one day.
That made me sad.
I have to play with my car by myself, vrooooooom vrooooom

‘It’s too cold for her outside tonight.'
You came in with blue fingers. You had a bruised knee.
Mummy says “Go sleep with the wolves.”
“I’ll read you a story,” Mummy says to me.

‘It’ll hurt for her to fly tonight.’
Beautiful snowflakes fell down to the ground.
You cried.
I heard you howl like a wolf from the garden.
Mummy heard you howl like an ugly animal.

‘My Angel has frostbite.’
Mummy tells me that you were a naughty girl.
I know that you were just cold.
Mummy cried but her eyes were dry.
Everybody came up and said she was a poor old soul.

‘Too cold for Angel to fly tonight.’
I look out my window and look at the stars.
I wish I could play with you.
I know where you are.
You're there, in the sky and you shine out of spite for Mummy.
When it's cloudy, I know you're angry. I speak to you sometimes.
But you don't like when I talk about Mummy.
You get angry and it gets cloudy.
I know it.

‘My Misty Angel.’
When you flew away I had to stay. I cried with Mummy but I still cried without her. She was only Mummy when you cried. But you died of silly old cancer because you were a Cancer Star.
I want to play a game.




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Oh. My. God. This is really, really sad. The fact that it is from the point of view of a six year old makes it even sadder. The use of simple words are so effective that even someone like me was close to tears (and I'm not even joking). You write so elegantly that I'm ashamed of my own writing. Will you marry me?




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I agree with 567ajt, you make me feel ashamed of my own writing too! This is such an amazing story. I wouldnt be able to write anything as close to as good as you wrote this. I'm seriously speechless right now. The only words to describe are simply beautiful and amazing.

This is one of the saddest, deepest, most beautiful stories I think I've read in my life.

-CookEmonster
To accept life is to accept the fate it comes with- we were born to die.
So why not make the best of what we've been given with the short time we have on earth?
I like to live every day to it's fullest. (: And writing helps me do that...




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Hello! It's Ally, here for more requested reviews! :D

Alright, this is certainly a different genre from some of your other works so I'd like to congratulate you on being able to write magnificently in more than one genre! Some people have difficulty doing that and it can be considered a real challenge!

I will say though that I had to read through this a couple of times to completley understand the premise of the story. However as soon as I understood it I was just riveted with sadness..! D':

Your MC was also confusing at times, I mean was your MC a boy or girl? Not that it truly mattered all that much to the storyline, however it would've been nice to know as I was reading. So you might want to work on clarifying that a bit more.

I liked your story's layout, it was creative and reminded me of a poem, not sure if that's the feel you were going for? But if it was then you did it very successfully! :D

Mummy cried but her eyes were dry.


You're wording was impecable and truly did make the story! c:

Sorry for the shortness, however there's not much else for me to point out and I don't think you really need my nitpicks.

So ta ta for now! Keep writing and I'm here if you want anymore reviews! :D
Ally.
HEY YOU!
Yeah you! :D

You should check out my latest novel "Part of the Night!"
http://www.youngwriterssociety.com/novel.php?id=877
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Why haven't you clicked on the link yet!



What about the chicken, Jack?
— David Letterman