Hey. As you can tell I'm brand spanking new, and this is my first post. This is the first chapter of my novel and (obviously) I really want some criticism and opinions etc.
Also, the title is only a temp until I think of something good.
Chapter 1
Katelynn gave a long, drawn out sigh. What’s wrong? It was a voice inside her mind which asked. She knew the voice didn’t really want to know, so she didn’t answer. The girl sat up in her bed and yawned, rubbing her eyes and stretching out her other arm. Another day, more misery, she told herself grimly. The voice inside her head laughed, knowing that it was its own fault. Katie sighed again.
She slid out of bed and stumbled over to her window, opening the shutters. A cool breeze blew into her small, dusty room and the sunlight flooded in with it. There had been no glass on the window since long before she moved in. By the sun she guessed it was about midday. She’d slept in far too long. Katie moved over to the wardrobe, tripping over her own feet. She was still tired, but that wasn’t the problem: the voice inside was doing this to her: making her clumsy. She threw open the creaky wooden door and peered inside. She didn’t have much in the way of clothing - or anything else really - but she had to make do. She didn’t have anyone to rely on.
Oh come now, I’m hurt, what about me? Katie sighed in annoyance and set her teeth, refusing to talk back to the voice in her head. She changed out of her pyjamas and into a simple t-shirt and jeans, and then tied up her long yellow hair. She looked at the dirty, cracked mirror on the inside of the door. The light was uncertain in this corner of her room but in the cracked glass she saw the two silver eyes that stared back at her, dark circles under each one: she’d not been sleeping too well lately.
She shut the wardrobe door and walked out of her bedroom into the other room. It was a small room, merely a small kitchen with table and a single chair. She sat down and leant on the table. She felt sick to her stomach, not much like eating.
The night before she’d had a bad dream; reminding the seventeen year old of her family: her mother and brothers, all, as many people thought, slaughtered by the voice in her head. It wasn’t a dream of the reality of what happened, but still… it was close enough.
Don’t flatter yourself, the voice began speaking again, the tone was hard and cold, If it wasn’t for you-
“No, no, no, no, no. Not listening!” The girl yelled aloud, trying to make the voice stop. But deep down she knew it was right.
She laughed quietly, but there was no humour in it. She was just thinking of the irony. People in her home town - where she no longer lived - had stayed away from her, avoided her because of the voice in her head. They said she was mad, talking to herself all the time. Mad, and a murderer. Katelynn had always told herself this wasn’t the case. She told them that she wasn’t talking to herself, but no one believed her. Katelynn then thought about how she yells out loud to the voice in her head. Maybe she was insane. The voice in her head… it ruined her life. Katelynn closed her eyes, and could see another person standing there. It looked angry.
Stop calling me it! It yelled at her. I have a name, you know that.
That was true. The ‘it’ she referred to was a she. And her name was Catherine.
That’s more like it, my young, insane friend. Katie snarled to herself as Catherine accented insane, and finally, gave up and spoke back to the voice in her head.
I am not insane. You exist. I know that, you know that. And you just try to pretend that I am mad, when I’m not.
Catherine just laughed. It was cruel, and mocking. But Katelynn shrugged it off. There was no point in getting upset because of Catherine, and the girl decided to go for a walk. She stood up quickly, knocking the chair over. Silently with no comment, she picked it up. It was Catherine again, making her do these things. She opened the door. Its hinges were rusted and she had to force it open. Katelynn worried briefly that it might break and fall off the dammed things, but she shrugged the thought away: if it fell off she would have something to do. She kept the house looking old and dirty; trying to keep people away and make them think it was abandoned. But that didn’t work. Everyone knew the evil girl; the murderous monster lived in the abandoned house in the woods. But the thing was no one here actually knew what she looked like. They didn’t even know her name. It was a good thing. In her old town, where she was born and raised until eight years ago, everyone knew who she was. But here, it was perfect. No one knew her. That’s how she wanted it. No, that wasn’t quite true. Night knew her, and that was enough.
Don’t lie to yourself. Catherine laughed again. I know how much you detest living alone. No friends, no family. Just. You. And. Me.
Katelynn shuddered at the thought. But once again, as much as she hated to admit it Catherine was right. She sighed again angrily, not for the first time this morning. She was sick of Catherine always being right: it really ticked her off.
She walked into the town. As always, she was nervous she might see somebody who recognised her. Yet as always, she didn't.
You only don’t want to admit that you have to live alone. You don’t want to face that you don’t have a choice. Catherine continued from earlier.
I have a choice. I choose to be where you can’t do damage.
But despite this, she always felt safe walking down the street, because she liked listening to the sounds of the world around her. It drowned out the noise of Catherine. This seemed to make Catherine annoyed, as the person she felt existed for her to make miserable was in fact not. Catherine blocked off Katelynn’s thoughts, probably because she was devising some new way to ruin her life without being distracted. But Catherine didn’t know that what really annoyed Katelynn was the fact that she herself couldn’t block off her own thoughts. Catherine could hear what Katelynn was thinking all the time; except for when Catherine blocked off her thoughts. Another thing the girl had learnt was that she couldn't hear Catherine’s thought most of the time. She could only hear the thoughts her other half wanted her to hear. On occasion, however, she could hear Catherine’s thoughts randomly, but that didn’t happen often.
Catherine came back after a few minutes.You say that but you still dream about being a Sec. Like I can’t do damage then, Catherine acted as though no time had passed since they last talked.
That will be different. Besides I’ll never get in, I don’t know how to find them.
They don’t exist. Then Catherine was gone again, blocking herself off once more.
Katelynn wasn’t watching where she was going as she walked; she enjoyed the feeling of the sun, in the woods where she lived not much light got through. But she started to feel dizzy, as she usually did when Catherine hid her mind from Katie’s own. The sun suddenly vanished and she looked around. She was in an unusual part of town; one where she’d never been before.
She blinked a couple times. There were a lot of old, rundown buildings around where she was. Above her was an overhanging roof. She had walked in to the middle of a broken building. Despite the rest of the street being lit by the sun, it still felt dark and eerie.This was bad. It was almost like a slum, but not. Because no one lived here anymore. They were all long gone. Well, except for a few that had stayed. People on the run from the law. Murders, thieves and the likes... A shudder ran up her spine and she was suddenly glad Catherine wouldn’t have heard her worried thoughts.
On the wind, a noise came to her. She frowned, unable to comprehend what it was but it made her skin prickle. It felt bad. She glanced behind her, feeling like someone was watching her. But no one was there. Katelynn crossed her arms and turned around to head back to the middle of town, and as she turned a dark shape caught her eye. A man with a tall, wiry frame and grey skin was shrouded in shadow. The yell came again she froze, staring at the man staring back at her, his eyes glassy, his mouth gaping open in a silent scream. Her heart thumped loudly in her chest as she stepped back. But only once for she saw the rope hung around his broken neck, and saw his feet weren’t on the ground. A gust of wind blew through and the man swung on his rope, but he himself was still unmoving. He was dead, Katelynn screamed and turned to run.
The yell came once more, and Katelynn felt figured out what it was: a call for help.
She ran into one of the old buildings where the yell came from. The floor was rotten and she could see through into the dirty cellar below, where there were two boys - fighting.
In one, she could see bloodlust and anger. He had a huge, sadistic grin with sharp teeth visible. She froze and her heart skipped a beat. He was like a demon. As she looked into those eyes, she felt the creature’s hate. She tore her gaze away and looked at the other boy. He was losing. He was frightened, as although he had a sword he couldn’t get the other boy. Katelynn wondered briefly why he even had a sword, who had swords these days? The ‘demon’ was frighteningly fast. He jumped in, punching or kicking him a few times before falling back. He would disappear behind or to the side of the other boy. Katelynn let out a staggering breath. Catherine had come back and she laughed.
Scaredy cat, scaredy cat, can’t even save someone in danger.
Katelynn ignored her and took a hold of herself. She saw the demonic boy was holding a short blade and the girls eyes widened in horror. He was going to kill him. No, wait, that wasn’t a dagger, it was the boy’s nails. They were claws. She saw the boy about to deliver the final blow, Katelynn jumped down onto him, knocking him to the floor and stunning him. Realising what happened, the other boy seized his chance and knocked the ‘demon’ with the hilt of his blade. The impact made a sickening crack and rendered him unconscious.
The boy held out a hand to help Katelynn up and she took it.
“Thank you,” the boy puffed. She could tell he was exhausted. She smiled and waited for him to catch his breath.
While she waited she subtly studied him. He had dark auburn hair and green eyes. He was tan, tall and strongly built. He was wearing simple clothes, a loose long sleeved white shirt and long brown pants. As she looked again at his face she saw the many cuts and scratches he had. There weren’t any new ones, they were all scars, but she could tell he was a boy who had had his share of fights.
When the boy recovered he looked at her again, and Katelynn was sure she saw a flash of recognition. The look didn’t make sense, she’d never seen him before.
Catherine gasped; A Sec! She whispered to Katelynn.
What? No way, how would you know?
The double belt.
Katelynn noticed he was wearing two belts. On one was a sword sheath, and on the other some pouches.
“My name is Matteo.” The boy told her. He bowed his head quickly, a formality most Sec did. There was supposed to be more to the movement rather than merely bowing, but he seemed to not find it necessary. She had heard that they only used the whole sign for their leader. Catherine was right. And For years, she’d wanted to join the Sec. But the thing was, nobody knew exactly what they did. Very few people knew of the Sec – except those that did knew they were heroes, but that wasn’t why she wanted to be one.
“Are you a Sec?” she asked.
Matteo gave her a strange look, but nodded. “How do you know about the Sec?”
“My father was- is one.”
He looked at her in brief surprise, but then masked his expression. “Well in that case, yes I am one. Senior rank.”
Katelynn smiled. “Senior? But you can’t be much older than me.”
Matteo’s face stayed completely serious as he quickly studied her up and down, “What are you? Sixteen? If so, then yes, I am only a year older. But I can assure you of my rank.”
“I’m seventeen,” she corrected him.
Katie paused. She wanted to ask, to see how to join the Sec, but she didn’t know how. Matteo must have seen it in her eyes as he outright invited her to join.
“I’ve been asked to keep an eye out for someone to fill an empty apprentice position.” He said.
Matteo crossed his arms over his chest and watched, blank faced, as the girls face lightened up.
“No way! Seriously?” She asked, believing it to be a cruel joke. It was something she’d expect from Catherine.
“Meet me tomorrow at the park. Around midday.”
Was she dreaming? It seemed like it. “Why would you choose me?”
“Because you are strong, brave, and quick. These traits are essential to the Sec”
She smiled and stuttered her thanks.
“What exactly do you do?” she felt stupid asking the question, and instantly regretted it, but she needed to.
Matteo gave her a disapproving look, but told her. “Hunt and kill Codi.”
Katelynn wasn’t sure what a ‘Codi’ was. But Catherine obviously did, because she laughed again, Fun, you’ll love that, she said Katie smiled. “I think I’d better get going, or my parents will worry about me.” It was a lie, but she couldn’t think of anything to say to him and she felt awkward standing here.
“Thank you, Matteo, I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“Just call me Matt,” he offered; though it was more out of politeness than him making a move towards friendship. Or, she figured, maybe he just liked Matt better. She smiled again.
“Bye,” she said as she turned and ran out of the building, as though she was hurrying to get home. He called a bye after her.
As she ran back, she asked Catherine what a Codi was. But the voice inside her mind didn’t answer, just gave her another cruel, laugh.
The rest of that day went in a blur. Katelynn was excited, thinking that maybe her dream would come true. She was going to become a Sec - tomorrow. She lay in bed that night, staring up at the old wooden ceiling of her home.
“Come on, pass the ball!” one of the kids shouted.
“Alright, alright,” Katelynn laughed. Catherine was laughing too: a real, genuine laugh of excitement and enjoyment.
Katelynn threw the makeshift leather ball to one of her friends.
“Catch!” she called to her. The girl giggled and reached to catch it when one of the boys jumped in front and grabbed it before the girl had a chance.
“Mine,” the boy joked before handing it back as the girl fake pouted; she laughed.
“Thank you,” she said in a mockingly polite manner. She then turned around, “Heads up!” she shouted and threw the ball to Caedinn, Katelynn’s brother. But he wasn’t looking and it hit him on the head. Caedinn looked up from his arm wrestling match with Kano, which the ball had just caused him to loose.
“Hey!” he yelled, throwing the ball back. He laughed and stood up, walking over to Katelynn and putting his arm on her shoulder. A boy was walking towards them; he had dark brown curly hair and almost black eyes.
“Oi! Cae you owe me a ten bucks cos I won!” Kano teased.
“You so didn’t, Nail.” Caedinn laughed.
Dante smiled as he walked up the dirt road, probably coming to get her sister, who was one of Katie’s friends. Around his neck, as usual, was his necklace: a piece of black string with a large claw tied to it – he‘d never taken it off since he’d gotten it from his sister earlier that year. He raised an eyebrow at them.
“Wow, when you two stand next to each other it’s so obvious you’re brother and sister.”
Katelynn stared flatly at Dante, but there was obvious amusement behind it. She looked up at Caedinn, who was trying his best not to laugh.
“No! We look nothing alike!” The two said at the same time. Dante laughed. “Oh yes you do, you have the same face.”
Katie’s friends laughed, “He’s right, you know,” one of them said.
Katelynn pouted, “We aren’t that similar! I mean, our hair colour is different,” she ran her hand through her straight, shoulder length chestnut brown hair.
“And my eyes are green, hers are brown,” Caedinn added.
Dante spoke again, still laughing, “You’re twins, so you should look the same.”
