This professor Hosselhoff has been taken down too

Time for him to earn a few bucks in the magazine continuum

Hello there

The shades were pulled, the lights were dimmed, and the gathered kids fell silent as the huge plasma screen lit up and cute penguins started wobbling hither and thither in their icy habitats.

This sentence is rather long, a little too long. You can break it up into maybe two different sentences at least.

“that when the children will see that this sort of thing goes on all over the place, with birds and fish and bunnies, they will realize that they don't have to hide it, that it’s OK (okay)to talk about that.”

Hmm interesting. There's very little characterisation in this piece. You did not give me any idea of how your characters look like, how they behave, etc. etc. So in that case when Timmy dropped the news

“The other day… the other day Mom ate Dad.”

It was just a bomb out of nowhere. What sort of expression did he have on his face, was he gloomy? What of the two gentlemen. The reaction of the other children is very lacking, description-wise. You know, things like that can really add some volume to the story, instead of everything happening for no reason and being so blunt.

Otherwise your writing style is really good. Just work on your sentencing. Know when to use a full stop and stuff like that.

Keep writing and good luck!

Hi Ziggy!
Thanks for the review.

ziggiefred wrote:It was just a bomb out of nowhere. What sort of expression did he have on his face, was he gloomy? What of the two gentlemen. The reaction of the other children is very lacking, description-wise. You know, things like that can really add some volume to the story, instead of everything happening for no reason and being so blunt.

Haha, that was supposed to be the idea - an abrupt punchline/twist ending and that's it. The story only works as a buildup to the punchline. If more details are added it'll mutate into something else. Thanks again.