Threads and strands

Life is formed by threads and strands
To try to walk them is to fall.
I'm broken but I'm in Your hands
I trust that You can hold it all.

Why must good men die when young?
Why must shattered hearts, like glass,
Be scattered out of sight among
The dampening dirt and leaves of grass?

Life's threads have caught me like a web,
A spider waits to drink my life.
Peace and panic flow and ebb,
And in my chest I feel a knife.

We walk by faith and not by sight
So though I'm blind I'll step once more.
But someday, please restore the light
And draw me to the sky to soar.

Hi, Cat
A very meaningful and straightforward little poem. A few possible suggestions:

Life is formed by threads and strands
To try to walk them is to fall.
I'm broken but I'm in Your hands
I trust that You can hold it all. - is it 'trust' or 'hope'? It would make for very different emotion

Why must good men die when young?
Why must shattered hearts, like glass,
Be scattered out of sight among
The dampening dirt and leaves of grass? - leaves of grass is a bit awkward. Maybe 'blades of grass' or, to balance the 'dampening dirt - something like 'decayed grass' or 'withered grass' or just 'dripping', 'dewey'.

Life's threads have caught me like a web,
A spider waits to drink my life.
Peace and panic flow and ebb, - 'peace' breaks the flow a bit IMO; how about 'accord' or 'repose' (just for rhythm's sake)
And in my chest I feel a knife.

We walk by faith and not by sight
So though I'm blind I'll step once more.
But someday, please restore the light
And draw me to the sky to soar. - this one also stumbles a bit I'd say. How about 'and show and sky and make us soar' or something. My version is a bit too 'Take me mighty Jehovah', but what I meant is to have a last sentence based on the restoration of light of the previous sentence and something not as clunky as 'draw me to the sky to soar' - this way the structure throws the rhythm off.

Anyway, a very nice poem.
My favorite bits, the ones with highest impact on me as a reader were this:
"Life is formed by threads and strands
To try to walk them is to fall.
I'm broken but I'm in Your hands
I trust that You can hold it all."

and this "We walk by faith and not by sight
So though I'm blind I'll step once more"

powerful stuff

Hi!

I think that this is a very meaningful poem with really nice symbolism with the spider's web and life. I think that that's quite true. It's also quite original as I haven't seen life being compared with a spider's web before. So, I really liked the idea behind the poem.

Some little nitcpicks:

Why must good men die when young?

I don't think that the 'when' is necessary in there. I think that it will flow better if you get rid of the 'when'.

Why must shattered hearts, like glass,

This line sounds a bit awkward for me. I know that you're trying to rhyme, but putting 'like glass' at then end sounds kind of awkward and it didn't flow as well as it could've. You could rephrase it to, "Shattered heart is like glass, Scattered out of sight among..." Or something similar. The line, at the moment sounds a bit awkward.

I don't think I have any major critiques. I really liked the straightfowardness of the poem and how you compared life to a spider's web. For me, that was really interesting and rather unique. So, keep it up!

Here is my review! ^_^

I thought this actually flowed very well - many rhyming poems have sticky spots where the poet put rhyme over meaning or obviously couldn't come up with a good rhyme or had to sacrifice grammar for rhyme. This poem does not have any of those spots, in my opinion.

Now, as for improvements - I know this is a poem and a lot of people do things this way, but you really shouldn't capitalize every line - only new sentences, just like in prose. Also, you have a few spots where you don't have any punctuation at the end of the line, and you should. The first stanza is a good example:

"Life is formed by threads and strands [semicolon or dash or even period here, please!]
to try to walk them is to fall.
I'm broken [comma] but I'm in Your hands [semicolon or period here]
I trust that You can hold it all."

Basically, try rewriting each verse in prose form. If it looks awkward, you probably need more punctuation. Example again:

"Life is formed by threads and strands To try to walk them is to fall. I'm broken but I'm in Your hands I trust that You can hold it all."

As opposed to:

"Life is formed by threads and strands; to try to walk them is to fall. I'm broken, but I'm in Your hands. I trust that You can hold it all."

See?

My only other complaint is that the first stanza, particularly the first two lines, aren't really all that attention-grabbing. Later on you've got some great imagery and great lines ("I'm broken but I'm in Your hands," "Why must shattered hearts, like glass, be scattered out of sight among the dampening dirt and leaves of grass?", "So though I'm blind I'll step once more"), but the first two lines are very general and kind of slow. Not that you HAVE to change them or anything, it's just something to think about.

Other than that, good job. I loved your imagery, and the whole message of the poem is nice.

~Blue

P.S. "Leaves of grass" makes perfect sense - grass is made up of leaves and roots, so feel free to ignore that part of whatever comment that was. Sorry. I'm a botany snob. Parallel veining. See? I can even tell you the type of veining on grass leaves! (Wow, am I a nerd or what???)