The World is Turning Red

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Thought I'd try and write a poem centered around a certain color. Please feel free to tell me what you think. Comments and critism are welcomed. : )

The world is turning red, and I, we,
are in the blush of the morning.
Mama digs her thumb pass the skin,
and while the juice cries out
she pries out the pit of a peach.

Papa's blood works up like a sweat
behind the copper of his freckled face.
Its wide and bloated structure
make me remember the cherry tomatoes
we used to grill on rosy summer nights.

The world is turning red, and I, they,
stand by each other near tired crimson wallpaper.
Mama and Papa bought it together
in the red heat of a summery noon,
when we came to live in this feverish town.

I wipe my coral-tinged face
and erase evidence of their most recent wine battle.
And I, they, we lower our bloodshot eyes.
We cannot bare to see one another,
becuase it reminds us of when the world was pink.

The world is turning red, and I

do not know how to stop it.
The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return.

Got Support~?
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Wow. Awesome. This is so awesome.

I really loved this but some of the line's word structures don't make total sense...

Mama digs her thumb pass the skin,
and while the juice cries out
she pries out the pit of a peach.
What does this have to do with the poem? It's a great description but it seems kind of random.

Awesome job on this though. The last stanza and lines are really great. I totally loved this.

Keep writing,
Alzora
"Just remember there's a difference between stalking people on the internet, and going to their house and cutting their skin off." - Jenna Marbles

~ Yeah I'm letting go of what I had, yeah I'm living now and living loud ~




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I thought this poem was really good! I liked how you talked about each red thing. It seemed like a poem you would find in your English text-book about descripive writings! I thought it was ver visual and I could see each part clearly in my mind. I didn't find any grammer errors, so good job! I loved it! Keep writing!
I'm the author of my own life. Unfortunately I'm writing in pen. Mistakes I make can not be erased, the only option is to turn the page and start a new chapter. <3

I'm single because God is busy writing the best love story.
<3 VuzzyCat




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The world is turning red, and I, we,
are in the blush of the morning. -- what a great association of words (red-blush)


The world is turning red, and I, they,
stand by each other near tired crimson wallpaper. -- again, crimson and red

And the end:
The world is turning red, and I / do not know how to stop it.

was really great. Well-done!
Julie, a sucker for romance, historical fashion, medieval fairs and blues music. Add photography and you already know me 50%. The rest of me you'll discover through my writings and my photos.

my fictionpress
my greatest project, a history-inspired romance




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Hii, I, me, not we, is Demoness and I'll be giving you my opinion on your work!! :)

I L O V E:d it! Truly amazing imagery, your give such great descriptions and to that there isn't much to improve, although I think you could work a slight bit on your punctuation but the lack of it didn't disturb the flow which I thought was amazing... though it can still be a good to fix it just for the look of it :) When it comes to the conteent... well it was great and that's all I have to say. Sorry not to have any helpful advice but I atleast cannot find any bigger faults with this... it was close to... PERFECT! xDD

Good Luck & Keep Writing

// Demoness
"Some say the world will end in fire;
Some say in ice.
From what I've tasted of desire
I hold with those who favor fire.
But if it had to perish twice,
I think I know enough of hate
To say that for destruction ice
Is also great
And would suffice." - Robert Frost



Time is money, money is power, power is pizza, and pizza is knowledge!
— April, Parks & Rec