On Memories and the Momentum of Moments

Several moments pass out my window and I forget to cry,
Because I never thought I needed to try.
My life passes me by so fast,
And all I want to do is crash.

Crash into you, crashing into me.
The numbers move so fast I can’t see.
Slow the letters so I can read.

Tell me where to stop.
We don’t want to get caught.
The air is so heavy it’s burning hot.

I live in the moment and so should you,
Take my breath and I’ll take yours too.
Let your soul out like a bird to fly,
Spread your wings just give it a try.

Moments go and pass like trains,
Jump into the wind and let go of everything.
Let’s crash together and then we’ll see,
Where the moment wants us to be.

This is a very good poem. It's well paced with clear meaning. Your poem has a vaguely musical quality to it, which makes it very readable. I can't really think of any critiques, so keep writing, develop your style, and keep up the good work!
P.S. I really like your title.

This is quite good - you've got some nice images and so on, except your rhyme scheme is so haywire it could induce an electric current. I'm sorry for the bad joke btw xD
You should stick to a rhyme scheme when writing a poem, otherwise it gets very confusing and difficult to read; the constantly varying scheme messes with the meter and sort of ruins the flow for me. I can understand you wanted to be original perhaps, but it just didn't work for me in this one.

Hi there!

This is lovely. I loved the cute picture it gave me in my head, of a certain person and I. But that's another story. It has so many emotion squeezed into just a few little stanzas. This also came out as a sort of song in my head, which I like.

The only thing I could possibly correct is the rhyming and number of lines per stanza. I'm perfectly fine with free verse and rhyming poems, but I don't really like when the two are combined. I also like consistency when it comes to number of lines. I'm just more of a particular poem form kind of person, I guess, and not just all out free verse.

I hope I helped at least some. C:
~Lee-Anna