I'm Not Sorry

Spoiler

This song is from my musical, Drama with Lyrics (the title is subject to change) It's about two actresses who used to be best friends. One, Elise, never gives up on they're friendship until this particular moment. The other, Delilah, only ever befriended Elise to get her best friend Alex's attention. Alex dies tragically in the second act and the girls get into a fight at his funeral (for crying out loud girls, is nothing sacred?) When the two sets of different lyrics are together, it means they are singing in counterpoint with each other. I'd really like to get some feedback on this, and I hope you enjoy!p.s. the copious amounts of periods are to keep Elise and Delilah's separate lyrics in the right spot

I’m Not Sorry

Elise: To think I once admired you,
I trusted you with my life,
I looked up to you, like a sister,
But in the end you only brought me strife.
But now, after all this time,
I can look you in the eye and say,
I am strong, and I
Can finally let this friendship die,
And despite all the regret, now I can say
I’m not sorry.

Delilah: To think that I once helped you,
Defeat your darker side,
But this is the thanks I get,
Thanks to your foolish pride,

And now, after all this time,
You haven’t changed,
You’re still ungrateful, and I
Always knew that this friendship would die,
Because You’ll always be a fool, I can say
I’m not sorry.

Elise: You never apologized………..Delilah: All I ever heard was “I’m sorry”
But I did,………………………………………………….But you never meant it.
and I meant every word I said………………...And I never believed you
You’d use me………………………………………….You told everyone I used you
To get to him………………………………………….It was the other way around
But now he’s gone,………………………………...You nearly ruined my relationship with him
So no one wins……………………………………... And your deception astounds me

But now,
……………………………………………………………...But now,
After all this time,
……………………………………………………………...After I could put
I am strong,
……………………………………………………………...Your so-called display of strength behind me,
And I can finally let this friendship die
………………………………………………………………Our friendship died long ago.
And despite all the regret,
………………………………………………………………I regret nothing
Now I can say
…………………………………………………………….You’re still a fool, and
I’m not sorry………………………………………...I’m not sorry.

Well, goal achieved!

This is good stuff, and if possible can you send me an mp3 or some sort of video or something when everything is put together? I love this kind of 'passive aggresive' stuff

I do have my doubts on this part though:

Elise: You never apologized………..Delilah: All I ever heard was “I’m sorry”
But I did,………………………………………………….But you never meant it.
and I meant every word I said………………...And I never believed you
You’d use me………………………………………….You told everyone I used you
To get to him………………………………………….It was the other way around
But now he’s gone,………………………………...You nearly ruined my relationship with him
So no one wins……………………………………... And your deception astounds me

I doesn't seem like it flows together naturally, if you do want it to, it is going to sound forced I think. And to be honest I have no idea how you can solve this, or maybe I'm completely wrong of course.

I can almost imagine the two female voices singing this although I don't even have a melody haha...Good job, I was surprised to find this

Hello there. One word. Wow. This is really awesome!

Elise: You never apologized………..Delilah: All I ever heard was “I’m sorry”
But I did,………………………………………………….But you never meant it.
and I meant every word I said………………...And I never believed you
You’d use me………………………………………….You told everyone I used you
To get to him………………………………………….It was the other way around
But now he’s gone,………………………………...You nearly ruined my relationship with him
So no one wins……………………………………... And your deception astounds me

I love this part because it's like they're argueing. It doesn't flow too well though, but I think it's quite interesting. Keep up the good work and if you need anything else reviewed, just let me know and I'd be more than happy to take a look at it. Once again, this was just amazing, hope to read more about this musical!

-Angel

I liked it! I could almost hear them singing it (though you probably imagined it differently,) and it seemed to flow well.