The stars are beaming and I am dreaming, the good and the bad the loves I had the loves I want I wish I wasn't dreaming, I love the stars beaming on me.
That was good! I was hoping it was longer! The only part that I felt was out of place were the last two lines. One says you wish you weren't dreaming, and the next says you love the stars beaming on you. Unless you wanted it that way, my suggestion would be to add one more transition line, because it doesn't really make sence why you wish you weren't dreaming. But that is just me and I could be wrong. Otherwise, it sounded really good! Keep writing!
I'm the author of my own life. Unfortunately I'm writing in pen. Mistakes I make can not be erased, the only option is to turn the page and start a new chapter. <3
I'm single because God is busy writing the best love story. <3 VuzzyCat
okay Emily, here as requested I agree with VuzzyCat... it needs to be longer.
The stars are beaming and I am dreaming, the good and the bad the loves I had, the loves I want I wish I wasn't dreaming, I love the stars beaming on me.
Personally the way your poem is I would split it up into smaller stanzas like this, so you can see your rhyme scheme easier(which by the way, needs to be fixed) You started good, "beaming" and "dreaming", "bad" and "had", but then.. "want" didn't have a rhyme, then you rhymed "dreaming" and "beaming" again, then ended with "me", try to stick to a rhyme scheme if you start one. The line "I love the stars beaming on me" is a bit awkward and disrupts the flow you have started. overall, good-job, add more. -Bettinger
"You can't find another me, but I can find a million yous."
"My shadow followed when you walked away and ever since that day my life has never been the same"
