I Indeed Can See

I can see the rain,
I can see how it falls,
How it feels to feel it,
How it feels to watch it.


I can see how we waste our time,
How we wake up feeling done,
Like a wasted chance,
For a useless change.


I can see how you messed up,
Why you are who you are,
What brought you to now,
What brought you to me.


I can see why I can't see myself,
Why you can't see you,
Why we only choose to see,
What we want to see.

I can see the world,
I can see why I write about it,
And why you read what I write about it,
Because we are all much alike.



I can see through a stranger,
And a stranger through me.
I can see the vulnerability,
Through those living on streets.


I can see it will be okay,
I can see why you don't think it will,
I indeed, can see.
But the question, is can you see me?

I like this, its easy to relate to. We are feel things because we are human but we write about them because we are vain. My only advice would be to develop the actual writing, dress it up with words. You have a beautiful idea that serves as an excellent foundation and I think with a little bit of work you can create something really eloquent that is functional but also nice to look at.

Nicely done! No grammar errors that I can see, so you're in the clear there. I felt that this poem is rather true. People do have a tendency to see only what they want to see. I really have no complaints, and I'm not even a huge fan of poetry. (This was my first review. If I did something wrong please let me know.)

Nice poem, easy to relate to, good use of punctuation, grammar, all that stuff - the only thing that bugged me was there was no image. I don't necessarily mean imagery, it's just that most poems make you imagine something, or feel it happening around you - you can envision yourself within the happenings of the poem, but with this one I just couldn't think of anything. That's something you can rectify by adding some more description here or there, or coming up with an image of your own for the work. If you can't see it happening, neither can we.