Once, I Was Mother Nature

VousEsEtonnant wrote:Once, I ruled the oceans, You do not need the comma after 'once'. It just gives it an awkward uncessary, unnatural break.
And held the sky in my palm.
Once, I kept the earth for me, Same thing here...nix the comma.
and willed the fire calm.

The animals obeyed me, 'Obeyed' is spelt with an e.
Each and every command.
Flowers bloomed with vibrance
Everywhere I'd stand.

Once, my wrath was fatal, These commas are infuriating! O.o
My gift could be so sweet.
I changed the hearts, the souls and minds It should be 'souls' since 'minds' is referring to more then one.
Of everyone I'd meet.

Beauty was my secret,
I made the world just so.
Until the humans became blind, 'Until' has one 'l'.
And tried to take control.

They built the hunks of steel,
They ruined my leafy trees.
My waters turned to muck and
The air was hard to breathe.

In rage I huffed out storms
And tore their world apart. You spelt 'their' wrong twice...
Volcanoes burned thier people, I think 'their' should be 'the' instead, since there are only people and animals; or you could try 'Volcanoes burned up people'.
Earthquakes off the chart. This is a bit confusing, and sounds like you're doing it just for the rhyme.

I take away thier water, 'Their' is spelt ER, not IE!!! *-*
What they do not taint themselves.
I let them know they're killing me,
By making thier lives hell.

The battle surges still
Everything against man.
For I am Mother Nature,
And I still own command.

VousEsEtonnant wrote:Once, I ruled the oceans,
And held the sky in my palm.
Once, I kept the earth for me,
and willed the fire calm.

The animals obayed me,
Each and every command.
Flowers bloomed with vibrance
Everywhere I'd stand.

Once, my wrath was fatal,
My gift could be so sweet.
I changed the hearts, the soul and minds
Of everyone I'd meet.

Beauty was my secret,
I made the world just so.
Untill the humans became blind,
And tried to take control.

They built the hunks of steel,
They ruined my leafy trees.
My waters turned to muck and
The air was hard to breathe.

In rage I huffed out storms
And tore thier world apart.
Volcanoes burned thier people,
Earthquakes off the chart.

I take away thier water,
What they do not taint themselves.
I let them know they're killing me,
By making thier lives hell.

The battle surges still
Everything against man.
For I am Mother Nature,
And I still own command.

VousEsEtonnant wrote:Once, I ruled the oceans,
And held the sky in my palm.
Once, I kept the earth for me,
and willed the fire calm.

The animals obayed obeyedme my
each and every command. ( makes more sense if you say it that way)
Flowers bloomed with vibrance
Everywhere I'd stand.

* That doesn't make sense- you mix up the tense when you write, here. You use past-tense, then switch over to present-tense just to make it rhyme.
TIP: Don't ever sacrifice finesse and substance just to make something rhyme.

Once, my wrath was fatal,
My gift? could be so sweet. The gift isn't exactly the opposite of a wrath. mercy, maybe?
I changed the hearts, the soul and minds
Of everyone I'd meet.

Beauty was my secret,
I made the world just so.
Untill Until the humans became blind,
And tried to take control.

They built the hunks of steel,<-- not a full sentence, so complete it by joining the two thoughts ( using a proper period, here).
They and ruined my leafy trees.
My water turned to muck and
The air was hard to breathe.

In rage,(comma) I huffed out storms
And tore *thier their world apart.
Volcanoes burned (killed?) thier theirpeople,
Earthquakes off the chart.

I taketook ( try to keep the tense consistent) away thier theirwater,
What they do not did not taint themselves.
I let them know they're they werekilling me,
By making thier theirlives hell.

* you misspell "their" about 4 times in just 2 stanzas, always try to double-check something before you submit it.

The battle surges still
Everything against man.
For I am Mother Nature,
And I still own am in command.