Dancing Among Dreams

Defying the nature of time,
Disregarding initial conditions.
Thoughts flit into
And out of existence
In infinitely
Existent and
Nonexistent ways.
Your universe:
Just as chaotic,
But it makes sense,
Makes sense in a
Way that normality
Could never even approach.
A beam of light
Slows to a stop.
The particle and
Wave constituents melded together,
Able to be seen
By your mere human
Eyes.
Stopped like a train
At it's respective station,
Waiting to take you
On your journey,
On your journey into
The known unknown.
Cautiously you climb
Aboard,
And off you go
Into memories long forgotten,
Into the hideous beauty
Of yourself,
Into the future of
The past
Where you lost yourself
Now,
But so long ago.

Rain strokes your face
In the midst of
A thunderstorm.
You dare the sky
To strike you,
Dare it to lash out
Against you
The way the rest of the world
Does.
But the sky realizes that its
Intemperance
Has been matched,
So it flows with
You,
Flows with the tears
Of a bleeding soul,
Providing the only
Comfort you have ever known.

An awakening:
It appears as if you've found
Yourself in the eyes of
The mirror,
A place you never thought to
Look.
They stare back at you
As the beam of light
Upon which you are traveling
Reflects back and forth
Between them,
Off to infinity,
A journey that seems
All too tangible now

The pull of gravity
Reaches out,
Pulls you in with
Increasing strength.
Suddenly the "world"
Goes dark
And you know that
The journey is
Complete,
that infiniteness has been
Achieved.
And never,
Never
Have you been so willing
To embrace a reality.
This is how you know
That the journey
That is an end in
Its own beginning
Has finally
Found you,
Has finally wrapped you in
Its warm embrace,
Completing you in every way,
Making you
The possibly impossible
Being
That you were always
Meant to be.

This actually really great. It's imagery and simple descriptions are very fitting. However, I think you should refine it and cut off the rough edges. cut out all the things you absolutely don't have to say. Repeated words, common verses, etc. These kind of things can clutter a poem and drive the reader away. It was great, regardless!

Veritas

Well, first of all, let me start off by saying welcome to the YWS 

Now, down to business—
I am not one to go against writing in a different pattern or form, I tend to do it all the time, but my first thought after reading the beginning lines of your poem were, “he needs to change the line format he has chosen, except once I got to the second stanza, not only did I understand your chosen pattern, I fell in love with it. It makes the piece that much more powerful, in my opinion.

Also, just as a side note,

It appears as if you've found
Yourself in the eyes of
The mirror,
A place you never thought to
Look.

I can truly say how much i love this line. I can picture it, someone turning to face a mirror, finally having the truth become clear to them. The one thing that has remained out of place and faded our for so long, the foot to kick the door down to happiness, the scream to break the glass holding back everything they needed to move forward.
Great job
SnowBerry

Ah, I loved it as always! The way the poem reads and sounds is almost flawless. Its literally like listening to music and hearing each stanza sort of patter against your brain. Aha. But I really did enjoy how it endlessly moved together, and made every meaningful word pop due to the form. Very well thought out! Beauutiful I must say.

I must say, not unlike your other masterpieces, this is amazing! I am in love with the way you have structured your piece - the words flow so smoothly and freely and your vocabulary is absolutely incredible. Totally flawless.

An awakening:
It appears as if you've found
Yourself in the eyes of
The mirror,
A place you never thought to
Look.

Beautiful! I love it! This is my favourite part - breathtaking.

Congratulations on a simply spectacular poem! Keep up the good work!
Amy.

I love this, its awesome!!!! You are an incredibly talented writer. My favorite part is this one:

An awakening:
It appears as if you've found
Yourself in the eyes of
The mirror,
A place you never thought to
Look.

This will probably be my favorite poem of yours, the wording and imagery is just amazing. I have no nitpicks. because I loved it down to the last word. No lie, keep writing!!!