Tsunami: Black Eyes

I looked up at my mother. Her sad lonely expression burnt into me and her long sullen face hadn't shown an ounce of contentment for weeks, and her communication skills were dipping hugely.
She glanced up at me. Her eyes lit up for a fraction of a second. But only a fraction. She looked back down into her lap, staring into her fantasy world yet again.
Since 26th December, the day's have dragged along like a rope with an elephant attached to the end. Weeks have passed when me and mum haven't exchanged a word to each other. We would have meals and watch television together, but are only way of communicating was through our eyes.
Mum's black eyes. They could see through you, into your thoughts and feeling's.
If only I could do that. If only...

I stood up and walked slowly to the living room door. Mum's eyes followed my every move, like a cat about to pounce. The door opened with a click. Slipping through the small gap into the cold dark kitchen, I closed the door quietly behind me. I just couldn't stand sitting in that room any longer.
I grabbed my coat and went out through the old wooden door, into the black wilderness ... night.
The stars stared down at me. It was like being in big brother. I couldn't hide, because some one would always find me. Her black eyes were always following me.

I knew that she blamed me for what happened, just because I had been the one who had sugested that we should go down to the beach, but what could have I done? Nothing. It wasn't my fault that the experts didn't warn us, or that no one knew the symptoms. We were all there. Mum, Dad, Chris and me.
We all woke early on boxing day morning. The sun was spilling through the window, into the peaceful room. I got up and walked sleepily into the kitchen. Mum and Dad were talking quietly to each other, joking and laughing. Chris was sitting at the table eating a juicy orange. He smiled at me.
"Good Morning!" I smiled. There was nothing to be sad about. the sun was shining, the birds were singing, and the night before had been the best night of my life. We had partied until midnight, dancing Christmas day away.
I sad down next to Chris, and pulled a glass of orange juice towards me. I had an idea.
"I know! Why don't we go down to the beach?! they said the water would be nicest at this time of day!"
Chris grinned.
"Yeah! Can we go Mum?" he pleaded.
"Well! I do quite like the idea!" she smiled.
We packed our stuff and headed straight to the beach. The locals were right, the sea was just the right temperature; cool enough to be refreshing, but warm enough to be comfortable.
Me and Chris were swimming in the sea, while Mum and Dad sunbathed on the beach.
Suddenly the water started to be sucked from under us. It only took a minute or so before me and Chris were standing on sand. Chris looked at me.
"What's happened?" he panicked.
I shrugged. I really didn't have a clue. Chris and I slowly walked towards Mum and Dad. As we got closed, we saw Mum and Dad's faces completely drain from all colour.
Someone screamed from behind us. I turned my head quickly, but not quick enough.
A huge wave was meter's behind us, coming at us like a cat to a mouse.
And then it was all over.
I remember waking up in a hospital. All I could hear was the roaring of water. Doctor's and nurses slowly came into focus. I called my Mum, but no sound came out, not even a croak. A nurse came and peered at me. A doctor followed. There mouths were moving, but I could not hear any thing but the roaring of water. The both went away.

My ordeal was short, but painful. As soon as I could hear and speak, everything fell into place.
The wave was called a tsunami. The sea got sucked in and formed a huge wave, which then washed over Thailand.
Thailand. We had gone there for a short trip over Christmas.
The nurse had told me that my mother was fine, but Dad and Chris were both classed as missing.
I was devastated.

When I came out of hospital, I stayed in a hotel in the center of Thailand with Mum. She was so quiet and looked so sad, but I thought it would pass, it didn't. It hasn't.

2 years on Chris and Dad were never found. Thousands of people died from the tsunami. But people are still suffering. People are still grieving.

Absolutely honestly, I liked this. I really only had three things that I would change.

1) You seem to use a lot of the same sentence structure. It's alot of "She did this", "She did that" and "I did this", "I did that". There's nothing technically wrong with that, but the reader gets bored with it after read it several times. The place I noticed it the most was here:

cathy wrote:I stood up and walked slowly to the living room door. Mum's eyes followed my every move, like a cat about to pounce. The door opened with a click. I slipped through the small gap into the cold dark kitchen, closing the door quietly behind me. I just couldn't stand sitting in that room any longer.
I grabbed my coat and went out through the old wooden door, into the black wilderness ... night.
The stars stared down at me. It was like being in big brother. I couldn't hide, because some one would always find me. Her black eyes were always following me.

You've got four sentences in extremely close proximately that all begin with "I".

2)

cathy wrote:I looked up at my mother. Her sad lonely expression burnt into me. Her long sullen face hadn't shown an ounce of contentment for weeks, and her communication skills were dipping hugely.
She looked up at me. Her eyes lit up for a fraction of a second. But only a fraction. She looked back down into her lap, staring into her fantasy world yet again.

Your main character "looks up" and then only a few sentences later her mother "looks up". I think you could come up with a different description for one of them that would make it seem less repetitive.

This is also a place that has the a lot of the same sentence structure (look at the number of sentences that begin with the word "Her").

3) you say that the mother blames the main character for what happened. That seems just a little overdramatic for me. It was a natural disaster, and yes, the daughter did suggest that they go there, but the daughter is still family and I don't see how the mother would blame her. I can see the daughter blaming herself (that seems perfectly natural to me) but saying that it's the mother that blames her is just a little out of place.

Besides that, the only things that I saw were typos and things and you can find those fairly easily with just a thourough read through.

Nicely done, cathy.

Thank you. I have changed a few things, but I'm not sure what to use instead of "I". Also, I was wandering if I should try to expand the story more, or continue it.

That section that I pointed out looks much better now. I think you only changed one sentence, but it makes a huge difference in the way it reads.

As for whether you should expand/continue this, I don't think that you need to. It works quite well just the way it is. If you would like to do some more work on it and feel that you have more than you can say/show, then be my guest. I'd be more than willing to read anything you care to post.

But as I said, I don't feel that more is necessary, but it's entirely up to you as the author.

I liked it a lot!

I liked it a lot!

Yes this was an interesting read, I agree with what the above reviewer have said, in stead of saying "I did" "I stood" et... experiment with present participles ie.

"Running to the door, my eyes darted to the girl again" Present participles add more life into a piece.