Mirror Mirror on the Wall

I looked into the Silver Lake
and my soul was layed before me.
For the lake was but a mirror,
of what layed inside one's self.

What I saw was not what I expected.
Instead of a broken heart, there was a strong will.
Not a shattered strength, but a newfound hope.
I was not a dark abyss, but a bright star.

Then I realized why I saw that.
Thoes who'd hurt me had made me strong.
The pain that had broke me had made me see truth.
When I was left on my own, I found the light in darkness.

Still, what I saw did not please me.
The lake mirrored who we were
but I felt nothing of goodness.

I looked at the sky and wondered at the world,
"What did i do to deserve such torment,"
But the world didn't speak so I was left alone.
Knowing only that the horrors of the world made me strong
but that no matter what they were still horrors.

Spoiler

I don't really like this poem at all, but I post almost everything I write. So tear it to bits please

Oo! Another poem! Let's take a look shall we?

Writer97 wrote:I looked into the Silver Lake
and my soul was layed before me. Spelling: Laid.
For the lake was but a mirror,
of what layed inside one's self. Use the word "lie".

What I saw was not what I expected.
Instead of a broken heart, there was a strong will.
Not a shattered strength, but a newfound hope.
I was not a dark abyss, but a bright star.

Then I realized why I saw that.
Thoes who'd hurt me had made me strong. Be mindful of small mistakes like this.
The pain that had broke me had made me see truth. Chose a "had to take out of this sentence. Either one will do.
When I was left on my own, I found the light in darkness.

Still, what I saw did not please me.
The lake mirrored who we were
but I felt nothing of goodness. Stick with the four verses to a stanza setup. Take the the next verse and stick it on the end of this one. Remember that a stanza doesn't need to end with a period. A sentence can continue in the next stanza.

I looked at the sky and wondered at the world, Might want to take that out.
"What did i do to deserve such torment," Tell us what you said, don't actually say it. Breaks the effect of the poem.
But the world didn't speak so I was left alone. Try saying, "And answer was not forthcoming" or something to that effect.
Knowing only that the horrors of the world made me strong
but that no matter what they were still horrors.

Spoiler

I don't really like this poem at all, but I post almost everything I write. So tear it to bits please

Not bad, could be better. It's got potential

PM me with questions!

Veritas

I looked into the Silver Lake
and my soul was layed before me.
For the lake was but a mirror,
of what layed inside one's self.

What I saw was not what I expected.
Instead of a broken heart, there was a strong will.
Not a shattered strength, but a newfound hope.
I was not a dark abyss, but a bright star.

Then I realized why I saw that.
ThoesThose who'd hurt me had made me strong.
The pain that had broke me had made me see truth.
When I was left on my own, I found the light in darkness.

Still, what I saw did not please me.
The lake mirrored who we were
but I felt nothing of goodness.

I looked at the sky and wondered at the world,
"What did i I do to deserve such torment," The word wondered makes you sound like you are thinking this line which would mean just put it in italics and not quotes. I think it would flow better.
But the world didn't speak so I was left alone.
Knowing only that the horrors of the world made me strong
but that no matter what they were still horrors.

Your poem started out really nicely. You put out an idea not many have thought of and explained. Then you got off topic. I feel like I was on a seesaw of your emotions and ideas especially when you mentioned the horrors. You have a good skeleton with some meat on it here! Just put a little more effort in and stay on task!

If you have any questions PM me!

-Boo

Wow!!! This is so deep and your use of personification is amaizing. I loved it, it really has a nice take on the journey of self-discovery and all the pain and realisation that often comes along with it!