Some of the things in this story are true. Some are things that have happened to me, others are ones that have happened to my friends, or I've heard about in my school.
This subject means a lot to me.
Thankyou for reading.
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The feeling of dread settled on me.
It was Monday.
Monday. I would have another full 5 days of school before I could have a break from it all again. Then, on Sunday, I would start this unforgiving cycle again.
I felt sick, like I had every morning for the last 3 years. I knew that I wouldn't get a day off. That never worked.
I dragged my stone body up from the bed. What would happen today then? What would they do to me today to make me feel even more worthless then they did on Friday? Same old same old.
I dressed quickly, picking the clothes from the bottom draw. I dragged a brush through my scraggly brown-blond hair.
There was no way I could get to the door without seeing my reflection. How bad would it be? I clenched my jaw and stepped forwards.
My cheekbone had turned purply blue, with pink circling it. Looking at my reflection, I ran my fingertip over it, lightly brushing it. It stung, a burst of pain, so I gritted my teeth and applied some concealer.
It didn't hide it completely, or the black bags under my eyes, so I decided I'd just have to suck it up.
A few minutes later I climbed onto the bus and sat by myself, knowing that no one would sit with me anyway. I thrust my headphones into my ears and turned up the volume to full.
At the second chorus of "When my time comes, forget the wrong that I've done, help me leave behind some reasons to be missed," I felt wetness in my hair. I swung round in time to get chocolate milkshake poured over my head.
A harsh laugh spread through the bus, even audible through the loud music.
Ah, I thought to myself, welcome to Monday.
I wiped the liquid from my eyes, a second too late remembering my bruise. Furious stinging started up; The concealer brushing off onto my fingers.
Dammit.
I swept back the wet hair that had stuck itself to my forehead. The headphones cracked, and then fell silent.
Double dammit.
I yanked them out of my ears and shoved them back into my pocket. Wringing out my hair, I excepted that today would be like any other. Awful.
The 15 minute journey seemed like a lifetime as I stepped off the bus and began walking towards the nearest toilets to get cleaned up, ignoring the sniggers that drifted from the students around me. I knew that they would be there, taunting me, and they would be there as I washed the milk out of my hair, and as I walked to my tutor. There was no break from them. No silence, no end to this tsunami of destruction. I just had to survive the day. Tomorrow was another story.
I shoved the door to the girls open. Faces turned to me as I stomped over to the sink and slammed the tap down, sticking my head into the flow of cold water. I wasn't going to wait for it to warm up.
Arh! It made me so angry! Why me? Didn't I get a break from all of them? Ever? Did I always have to suck it up? Why did they even hang out in the toilets anyway? Just for moments like this, I guessed.
"Hey sexy, like the hair do. Where can I get it done?" I ground my teeth and ignored her. The right side of my hair was dripping wet now. There was no way of finding out if the milkshake had washed out, but it would have to do until I got home. I swapped sides to run the other side of my hair under the luke-warm water. I kept my eyes down, but I could still make out the dark shapes by the window.
"Aww, babe, don't wash it out, it looks great." She laughed and then continued." You could start a new fashion trend. I know I would try it. Nah, actually, I don't usually go for the just-climbed-out-of-a-bin look." She laughed, and was joined by more, sharp cackles.
I hated the way they called me 'babe' or 'hun'. It was so fake, and worse than 'scab'. They could get away with 'sweetie' in lessons. They put me in the wrong when I snapped back at them. The innocent names seemed to cancel out all the awful things they say after it for the bystanders. But I was the one who saw the look in their eyes. I was the one they were shouting at, insulting. I was the one who had to deal with it, somehow.
The bell rung, and a whisper ran around the group, then more furious laughter. They wandered past, voices jumbling together. Someone swatted my butt, then I was shoved forwards and my head cracked into the tap. I muffled a cry, then the door swung shut.
***
The hot smell and babbling voices swirled around me as I shoved my way in between the wall and another girl and dumped my bag on the bench. I yanked my jumper over my head, then started to unbutton my shirt as fast as I could.
I hated hockey with all my heart, but I would rather be out in the cold than be in the changing room with them.
My forehead was still throbbing from the incident earlier, and my cheek was sore, but I shoved the pain away and focused on getting changed as fast as I could.
Shorts up, then hand into bag for my gum shield, then shin pads and secure the Velcro.
If they touched me again, if they said anything, I'm sure I wouldn't be able to keep it together any more.
I had got one trainer on before it happened.
"Hey sexy. Where d'you buy your trainers? Oh, sorry, I forgot, you got them from the bin, or did your dear old daddy get his likkle baby a pair from the charity shop?"
That was when I snapped.
I stood up and glared at the brown haired girl in front of me. Without another thought, I slapped her as hard as I could across the face. "How dare you." My voice now audiable in the silent changing room. Everyone was watching.
Hannah blinked a few times, then recovered, her eyes fixing back into a glare and she turned back to look at me.
Then hell broke loose.
Shouting broke the deathly quiet and I was rushed at from all sides.
"... If you dare touch her again I will..."
"... You little-"
"How dare you, you b-"
"You're such a big fat loser with nothing better to do than..."
The voices turned into one, a tidal wave of insults. My hand was tingling all over from where I had hit Hannah, and it was itching to make contact with all of these girls heads. I didn't know I was this violent. A few year ago I would've never thought I could ever hit someone. But I just had.
"She's going to get rabies from you now..."
"Oh, I'm going to kick you until you can't get up-"
"Just you wait until I tell Hannah's brother."
A girl I recognised as Frankie stepped up to me. She was taller than me, and stronger, I was sure. Her face was pinched with anger. "You so shouldn't've done that." The next second she lashed out and caught my head with her fist. My face erupted into pain, my jaw ached. It felt like my face was on fire, and my ears, still covered with insults, were ringing.
I didn't hit her back. She strutted away, back to her smug little group. Hannah's face had a red hand print on, which she was touching with her fingertips. I could feel myself glowing with, what? Embarrassment? Pure rage? I turned away from them.
I could feel the glares of hate boring into my back as I wriggled my jaw, and the pain flared up on the left hand side. My eyes caught on the black mouth guard still in its case resting on the bench.
A lot of help you've been, I thought helplessly at it.
The pain was vicious, and it ached in my brain like a needle.
I slipped on my other shoe and took the mouth guard out of it's case. I pulled open the door, and left them and their superior smirks behind me.
Chapter 2
My eyes were fixed on the clock.
3:27
My eyes followed the hand around, urging every second to come faster.
"Amy? Can you answer that?"
"Hm?" I moved my eyes to Mrs Frances at the front of the class. I kept my hand cupped around my cheekbone, covering the swelling.
"What's the answer?" she repeated.
"Erm..." I struggled with the maths on the board. The things I had memorised about fractions rushed through my head. "17?" It was more of a guess than solid evidence.
"No, you just guessed that. Anyone else?"
I tuned out again, looking back up at the clock.
3:28
Go faster! I urged.
The quicker I got out of this classroom, the quicker I could get home. The quicker I could get away from them.
Something hit the back of my head. I turned fast enough to see the laugh echo around their table, and the rubber bounce onto the floor.
"Ignore them," Lizzie whispered in my ear, "They're just trying to annoy you."
"I know," I sighed, " but it doesn't help me stop wanting to," I broke off and mashed my fist into my palm.
"Yeah, same," Lizzie sighed too, met my eyes and the dark iris's filled of conscern and pity.
Lizzie was dark skinned and black haired. She was shy to outsiders, yet when you got to know her, you found out why.
Suddenly, the bell rang, making me jump. The clock was slow. The clock was slow!
I shoved my chair backwards and stood up with the rest of the class. I pushed my pen into my pocket and grabbed my bag from under the table. I began to move towards the door, when the teacher blocked my way.
"You all have to be quiet first."
I dragged myself back to my seat. She was so deliberately doing this. Stupid maths teacher. Stupid stupid stupid!
I stood tapping my foot while the class bustled around me. Why wouldn't they shut up?!
I realized that the noise was from behind me.
Oh God.
They were deliberately holding me up. They were waiting for Frankie and, I'm guessing, Hannah's brother. I didn't need to be a genius to work out why.
I felt nervous. My palms were damp.
How bad would it be this time? I had no way of getting away. We were at the very top of school, out of the way of teachers and students. And there was only one way of getting down to the buses. And, if they blocked that, there was no way to get past.
I could see three shapes through the window.
I had excepted my fate by the time we were dismissed. I wasn't going to run. They would only chase me, or wait until they saw me again then I would get it worse.
Someone grabbed me by the collar and shoved me against the wooden paneling. The class filed past, neither hate nor sympathy in their eyes, except for Lizzie. She was projecting a sorry-but-I've-got-to-go look. I knew she did, her mum would kill her if she got into another fight. She held my eyes until she dissapeared round the corner.
The boy with his fist at my throat snapped it back towards him, flinging my body to the floor.
"How dare you touch my sister," the boy hissed as I pushed up with my arms, feeling the scratches down my face. My heart was beating fast, pumping adrenalin. This was going to hurt. A lot.
Then there was a foot in my stomach and fire in my side. I tried to hold back a scream as I rolled onto my back. Three laughing faces stood above me.
"Once apon a time your naughty little daddy had a naughty little affair,"
Oh no.
"And your naughty little daddy found the perfect woman, didn't he?" Jessica's voice hurt more than the pain in my side.
" And lucky for little old Amy, that perfect woman was no less than my mum!" Her hard boot connected with my head, flinging it to one side. My eyes spun and my head pulsed the pain in a constant loop.
I didn't know what was happening until someone was sat on my stomach and had pinned my shoulders down to the floor. Someone else knealed by my head and lent down and breathed in my ear.
"Sticks and stones may break your bones, but what about fire?" She laughed, a horrid, revenge full laugh, then I heard someone flicking a lighter.
Oh dear God, oh no, oh God, please no.
"This is for my sister," the boy growled, then pushed his hand against my hair.
I screamed and writhed as one side of my vision turned orange.
Flames. Flames! Put them out! Put them out! Put them out!
I rolled on the dirty tarmac. Over and over, rubbing my burning hair into the ground as best I could. I thumped my head with my palms, and they felt like they were burning too.
The pain was excruciating. I couldn't stand it. The heat, the smell. I was terrified. I could die, if I didn't put this fire out.
I heard them laughing as I rolled over and over, then got an image of them leaving me burning on the floor. They took their bags with them, and then they turned back for one final look at me before going to catch their bus.
I was still patting my head even when I knew nothing was burning. Tears were pouring from my eyes, and each time they ran down my cheek, I furiously wiped them away. I couldn't cry. No. Not here, lying like the loser I was on the dirty floor. No.
But the tears wouldn't stop, even when the teacher came out of her classroom. Before she could finish locking the room, I picked up my bag and ran.
Chapter 3
I couldn't face the school bus in this state. It was too far to walk the whole way home.
I ran out the school gates the back way, not caring if anyone saw me. I was way past caring. Way, way past it.
I would rather be on a bus with complete strangers than with people I knew.
I ran the whole way to the bus stop. I didn't have anything to cover my hair, so I just covered my head with my hand and hoped no one was paying attention to me.
I was glad that the bus was there when I ran up to the stop. I don't think I would've been able to keep still if it wasn't.
"One pound eighty five please," the driver said while printing out my ticket. I dug my grazed hands into my pocket and counted up the change.
It only made up to seventy five pence. Oh, not now. Please.
I offered the money to him. "I'm sorry, I've only got this much."
He looked at my hand for a moment, and then slowly shook his head.
"I'm sorry miss, that's not enough."
"But-" I was about to continue when a fist reached out in front of me. I reeled away before I realized what was happening.
A boy a year or two younger than me with huge blue eyes and short blond hair dropped a two pound coin into my outstretched hand. He gave me a cheeky smile, so I turned back to the bus driver, who nodded slightly and excepted the money.
I took my ticket and took my seat at the back of the almost empty bus. The blond boy grabbed his bag from where it was on a chair and sat one seat away from me. I pressed my head against the cool window and sighed. I could feel the blond boys eyes on me, but for once it wasn't a judging look.
"Oh," I exclaimed, reaching out my hand, giving him the change.
"Thanks," he replied, for the first time speaking to me. I smiled and handed him back the money, which he slipped into his jean pocket.
Two boys hopped onto the bus. The first one was handsome, his dark hair and eyes matched perfectly, beautifully. He looked around my age, dressed in a dark blue t-shirt with a white rim around the collar. He was wearing a dark, denim jacket with pockets on his chest and in the normal places. The other was smaller and younger, almost an exact copy of the older one. They must be brothers, I thought.
I tore my eyes from the mysterious boy and his brother as they sat in the seats in front and to the side of us. "Hey, you didn't have to give me that money." The bus began to move away from the stop.
"You looked like you needed it," he replied, giving me another half smile.
I sighed again. "You wouldn't believe."
He laughed, but then, in all seriousness said "Try me."
Figuring I would never see him again, and that his unconditional kindness was a nice change from the hateful looks I got at school, I turned my throbbing head so that he could see the other side, and the burn mark and bruise.
I watched the shock widen his eyes, and the dark, older boy who was now watching us. "Damn. What happened?"
I opened my mouth to tell him, but then closed it, shook my head, and turned away to watch the road.
I noticed him move up to the seat next to me and managed a half smile. My cheek was sore, and I'm sure, still bruised. And I had a feeling that, if I lifted up my shirt, I would see boot shaped brown mark.
I didn't want to think about what a state I looked. In fact, I'm sure that dark boy over there must be looking at me now because he thinks I'm... What? What did he think I was? Some sort of homeless girl? Yeah, I convinced myself, that was why he kept looking at me. I mean, why else would he be looking? I wasn't pretty. I was covered in leaves and dirt, had a big burned patch in one side of my head and two bruises on the side of my face.
"Oh, I'm Finn, by the way," the boy next to me nervously held out his hand.
"Amy," I replied, taking his soft hand and shaking it. For the first time, I looked down at my own hand. It was dirty. I felt my face heat up. I was a browny black colour from the mud on the ground from the incident earlier.
I shivered at the memory, the images flickering back through my head. My vision turned orange as the memory of the flames stuck. The pain of the burning washed through me again. Their laughing faces. The fear of the fire. The flames taking my life. If they had a can of deodorant. If they had sprayed the fire, I would be in hospital. My mother would be in fits. I would've had to tell her everything.
"...Hey, hey, hey," Finn's slightly hysterical voice broke through the flames. "Calm down Amy. Amy?"
Finn was gripping my violently shaking hand with both of his, and the dark boy seemed to be almost out of his seat. Finn tried to make me meet his blue eyes while saying my name over and over. But I still saw flames. I couldn't escape them.
"Hey, hey, Amy, look at me?" I blinked as I met Finn's eyes. His blue eyes seemed to help put out the fire in my head. "Hey, hey," he soothed as the other boy relaxed back into his seat, but he still kept his eyes on me.
I took a deep breath to steady myself. I had been right to be scared this morning. After what had happened today, I didn't think I could go back to school. I don't think I could stand another day of them, or the pain they caused. I had no one to turn to, no one to tell. I was alone in this. The closest thing I had to someone to listen to me was Lizzie, and even I could tell that she didn't like being around me very much anymore. Her mum had told her that if she got into another fight she would move her to another school. She fought united with me against them, but if she did again, she would have to leave. I didn't want that. My only lifeline gone. The only person I could tell what was going on. I didn't want to worry my mother. She had enough stress in her hectic life without my troubles to bother her. She worked full time, usually 9 in the morning until 8:30 at night, but this weekend she had worked even longer, starting at 6 in the morning until 10 or 11 at night. She was busy all the time, and I barely got to see her anymore.
I noticed the falling tears down my face and angrily wiped them away and sniffed. I could break down later. Not now.
I smiled, meeting Finn's concerned eyes.
"I'm fine, don't worry, I just," I didn't know how to end that sentence, so I left it. Finn wasn't buying it anyway. He shrugged and pulled his bag into his lap. Unzipping it, he shuffled around in the contents. Clothes, mostly, but there was shoes and food. Finn pulled out a very full bottle of water and took a long drink. I could feel that dark boy's eyes still on me, and I glanced at him. He pretended to be looking out the window, but he knew and I knew he wasn't fooling anyone.
"You want some?" Finn asked, offering me his drink.
"Yeah, thanks," I replied, realizing for the first time how thirsty I was. I took a long pull, feeling the cool liquid run down my throat. I wiped my lips and handed it back to him with a "Thanks,"
There was a pause while he pushed the bottle back into his bag, and the only noise was the rumbling of the bus.
"Why have you got a bag of clothes?" I enquired, making conversation. I didn't like the silence.
There was another pause, then Finn's blue eyes looked up and met mine. "Ok, saying it out loud sounds childish," He gave a slight, childlike, half grin, "but I'm... I'm running away."
More quiet. "Oh," I murmured, not really sure what to say to that. I had thought of running away many times. Just removing myself from everyone's lives so they wouldn't have to deal with me anymore. I wonder what made him run...
As if reading my mind, Finn lifted up his jumper and shirt. Across his side was a single, long cut. It was fresh, possibly even done in the last few days. I felt my eyes widen in shock, and I couldn't tear them away from his skin. It was a clean cut with a sharp blade. It wasn't too deep, but must have hurt him so much.
I met his swimming blue eyes. He looked so young, so inexperienced, so vunerable. I wanted nothing more than to pull this strange boy into my arms and hug him and tell him that everything would be okay, that it would turn out alright in the end. But I knew none of it would be. What had happened to him was none of my buisness. I had only just met him and I didn't even know what happened to him, yet I had the urge to protect him from what ever monster had done this to him.
I really wanted to pull him into my arms but I didn't. I couldn't, or wouldn't, comfort him. He needed to know that this was how it was. That life didn't always have a happy ending.
Suddenly I realized where I was. My road. I quickly reached for the Stop button and stood up, my arm slipping from his shoulders. I could feel Finn and the dark boys' eyes both on me as I began walking down the aisle.
I turned back to the little boy sat still with his bag on his lap, his jumper still ruffled from where he'd pulled it up. "Finn, where are you going now?" I asked, hoping I wouldn't regret asking later. He shrugged, his eyes still had pooled tears in them. "Wo-" I began, then got a grip on what I was actually asking. What the hell was wrong with me? I was about to ask a strange boy into my house without my mums permittion. Jeez, I'm crazy, I thought to myself while saying out loud, "Take care, see you around."
My balance rocked forwards as the bus slowed and I gripped the steel bar to keep myself from falling over.
His quiet "Bye Amy," was heartbreaking and I nearly ran back to him and dragged him off the bus with me, telling him something about protecting him from the world. But I didn't. I took a deep breath and stepped a little further down the slowing bus.
I felt a gentle brush of my arm so I glanced down, only to be pulled into the dark boy's bottomless eyes. I didn't know what to say to this boy either. Why were you watching me? What do you want? But I swallowed the questions and continued down the bus. He had deliberatly brushed his hand against my arm so to grab my attention. But why?
They both watched me walk up to my front door and search for the key in my pocket. I pushed it into the key hole before the bus rumbled away, and I turned just fast enough to catch his dark eyes through the window before only the back window of the bus was visible. I could see the back of Finn's head. A wave of guilt rushed over me. What had I just done?
Chapter 4
I sighed, examining my pitiful face in the bathroom mirror.
The bruise on my cheek was still brown and sore, and now I had another on my jaw bone. Great. And lifting up my shirt revealed, as I had suspected, more bruising.
My hair, face, clothing and hands were coated in dried mud and leaves.
But worst of all, there was a great patch of singed hair. Just looking at it brought back all of it.
A mixture of pain and hate surged around inside me.
I'd known they were evil, but I'm never thought Jessica was that bad. Did she know how terrified I'd been? Did she care? Probably not.
After she found out about my dad and her mum, she seemed to take it upon herself to make life hell for me. She told everyone, the whole school. While my mum had been so upset about her betrayal, I had the rumours spread around school. After that, people avoided me like the plague. They had started with the truth. The fact my dad had had an affair with Jessica's mum. But then they had escalated into lies. Accusations. They had turned whole groups against me and made my life worse and worse. Jessica had friends in pretty much every group in our year. The rumours spead through them all, and they all hated me to keep their friendship with Jessica. To be cool. If they didn't hate me then, they did after Jessica and her gang began to pick on me and anyone I hung around with. She turned me into an outcast; the girl no one wanted to be with.
There was only a few exceptions. Lizzie, for one. I thought back to her dark complection, those pitying brown eyes. And, now, Finn. That little boy excepted me, even in my awful state. I could still picture his cute blue eyes. I smiled at the memory, but it faded with the image of his slashed skin.
Poor boy.
I switched the shower on and, when the water was hot, pulled off my school uniform and stepped into the flow of water and shut the shower curtain behind me. I thought nothing more of the day, only the hear-and-now, the rush of hot water over my dirty skin.
***
I settled myself into the armchair and felt my body relax for the first time today. My pyjama's were warm from being on the radiator, and they soothed my tense muscles. It was comforting to know that while the rain battered the windows and the dark night closed in I was safe and warm inside my own house, and I didn't have to worry about anything until tomorrow morning.
Bring! Bring, Bring!
Damn. The phone. I sighed and dragged myself from the chair and searched for the telephone, my search getting more and more desperate at the annoying ringing tone carried throughout the quiet house.
I found the telephone in my mum's study as the answer phone cut in. I picked it up before they could leave a message.
"Hello?"
"Hey sweetie, it's me," my mum sighed, her normally cheery voice sounded tired and worn. I could hear undefinable sounds in the background. "I'm sorry darling, but I'm stuck in a stupid tail-back. There's been some sort of accident further up and I can't get through. The time police have estimated it to be clear is around 6 hours."
I glanced at the clock. 9:19. She would be back at around 2 in the morning.
"Are you sure?"
"Yes, darling, sorry. But you can make your own tea, right? Or you can go into my office and borrow some money for chips or something."
"Sure," I replied.
"So how was your day? Learn much?" She was just making conversation
"It was fine," I lied. I hadn't had a fine day, and I hadn't learnt anything either.
"Okay sweetie," she replied, "I'll see you tomorrow morning. Love you."
"Love you too," I sighed and ended the call, putting down the phone. I didn't want to go out in my pyjamas so I just settled with pasta and cheese.
My stomach growled hungrily as I poured it out onto a plate and grated cheese on top. I picked it up and took it into the sitting room, not waiting to sit down before I had a few mouth fulls. I slumped into the cushions and reached for the remote control, my mouth stuffed with pasta.
Ding!
I froze at the sound of the doorbell. My eyes flicked to the simple, wooden clock on the wall.
9:48
It was dark and raining hard outside.
Mum wouldn't be back until a lot later. She wouldn't ring the doorbell anyway, I left it unlocked.
Leaving my tea, I got up and padded to the door.
I pulled it open, cold air swirling around me. I shivered.
There, huddled against the bricks to one side of the doorway was a small, dark shape. I couldn't see it's face because it's soaking hair was flopped in front.
"A-amy," he mumbled through chattering teeth. His rain-soaked clothes stuck to him like they were glued on. He turned his small, childlike face up, and I got a glimmer of his teary, blue eyes.
"Finn," I scrambled for the right words, but gave up and pulled his small, shivering body inside the house and shut the door. He was shaking so violently that he could barely walk without my supporting arm.
In the light of the hall, I could see the blood on his face. I could see the grimace of pain on his lips. I could see the welling tears spill down his bruised cheeks and the one, long cut down from the corner of his right eye to the corner of his lips.
"Finn," I gasped, not thinking straight at the sight of him, "what happened?"
"i th-th-thought you w- weren't going t- answer-r-r. I-I-I'm sor-r-ry b-but I have kno-now where el-lse t-go."
"Shh," I interupted, "tell me later. Right now we need to get you into the bath to warm up."
I helped Finn up the stairs, across the landing and into the bathroom. It was still moist from my shower.
I felt his hand. He was as cold as ice.
I shoved the plug into the bath and turned both taps up full.
"Wh-ere's your p-parents?" Finn asked nervously. "Will th-they mind me bein-n-ng here?"
"I don't know, to be honest," I replied. I would think about it later. Right now he needed to warm up or he would get hypothermia. Or did he already have it? "We'll sort it out later," I promised, "Right now you need to get in the bath." I thought I saw him nod his head, but it might've been part of an extra big tremour that rocked through him.
Now what? I asked myself. Should I leave him to it? Or were his numb fingers no use to him anymore?
I met his eyes seriously. "Can you handle it from here?"
"I d-don't know," he stammered, then dropped his rucksack onto the floor and took off his trainers. I watched him fumble with the zip on his dripping wet rain coat, his shaking jaw turning down into an annoyed grimace.
"Here," I rushed, easily pulling the zip down and slipping it off.
"Th-than-" he began before his shaking voice muffled as I pulled his jumper over his head. I paused with his T-shirt though. How much would he like to reveal?
"T-take it off-ff," Finn said, meeting my eyes. I did as he told me to, and revealed his small chest. I didn't know what I'd expected. His long, vicious cut was still there, scoring his skin, but other than that, there was only one single, fading bruise.
I kept his jeans on as I helped him into the steaming bath. He would warm up soon, I hoped.
I decided it was time to leave. "Towels are in the cupboard over there," I pointed to the small brown door next to the mirror above the sink. "Take as long as you need."
I left him then, and closed the door to his small, heartwarming, "Thank you Am-my."
***
"Feeling better?" I asked Finn as he came yawning through the living room door.
"Yes thank you," he replied, sitting next to me on the sofa. He was tightly wrapped in a cream coloured towel and the blood was washed from his face. The cut on his face wasn't deep, but it looked as painful as the one on his side.
Finn looked away, his face flushing with nervous embarrassment. "Do you think I could borrow something to wear? It's just all my clothes are wet..."
"Oh!" I exclaimed, standing up immediately. "Sorry, I forgot about that, I'll just, I'll..." I left him staring after me as I sprinted out the door and up the stairs. I searched my chest of draws for something suitable for him. I pulled out a pair of jeans that were too short for me and stopped. What was I doing? Was I about to send him out into the rain? Was I really going to abandon him when he needed me? I shook my head. No, I couldn't. Instead, I chucked the jeans onto the end of my bed and switched draws, this time looking in the pyjama draw.
Yes, I thought to myself, he could stay here until he got himself sorted out. My mum would never have to know. But if she did I would get into so much trouble... But I couldn't just kick him out. I couldn't. And anyway, my mum might fall for those huge blue eyes like I did...
Taking the pair of deep blue pyjamas that my cousin left last year, I came back down the stairs.
Finn was where I left him. His face lit up as I turned back into the room, and I chucked the clothes at him.
"Pyjamas?" He asked, turning over the blue material in his hands.
"You didn't actually think I could let you go out in the rain?" His response was an even wider smile, but it fell as his cut crinkled and his face grimaced in pain.
"What happened to you anyway?" I asked, sitting down with him again as he pulled the top over his head and wriggled it down over his small body.
Finn looked nervously down and let out a big sigh. "Well, I gave up on this whole running away thing and went back home. I thought I'd give her one more chance. But my mum had just had a big argument with my step dad. She drinks when she's upset and she seemed especially upset today. I think they had an extra big argument." Finn had pulled the trousers up and was calmly unwrapping the towel and pulling it out from under his clothes. "When she saw me, she got all angry and was shouting at me about me being the reason my dad left and the reason my step dad and her argued all the time. She didn't say anything about her not seeing me all day or anything. But she was shouting in my face and blaming me and trying to hit me. She got so angry she banged the table and the bottle fell off and smashed. Then she shouted some more and picked up a piece and," he gulped, but didn't finish, but I could see in his, no, see on his face what had happened.
My mouth hung open in shock. I could feel it, but all the muscles in my face were jammed with it too. This little boy, this little boy had just been cut by his own mum. She had blamed him for all the things wrong in her life, and she had... No. She couldn't. No one could ever do that. Not looking into the innocence of Finn's eyes. It was impossible, but Finn was telling the truth. I could tell. Why would he lie?
I pulled Finn into my arms and stroked his hair. Tears ran down my cheeks when I thought of that woman. That awful woman. Finn hadn't talked about her with any hate, or anger. He still loved her, even after what she had done to him.
His story was about as sad as you could get.
After a while in silence, I decided it was time to go to bed. I was sure this poor boy was tired and needed some sleep.
"Time for bed," I murmured, my voice breaking the tick-tock pattern of noise in the house.
Finn mmhmm'd, so I stood up and he followed me upstairs to my bedroom.
I paused. Where was he going to sleep? He had to be somewhere my mum couldn't find him, so not on the sofa. In my room? Where? He couldn't sleep with me...
I tried to buy time by leaving a sleepy Finn sat on my bed while I went to brush my teeth.
The only thing I could think was what have I gotten myself into?
I came back to him, my plan clear in my head.
"Finn, there's a sleeping bag in the airing cupboard..." I trailed off, looking at the small boy in dark blue pyjama's curled up on my bed. "Finn?" No reply. I went closer to him and looked at his still form. He was asleep. I smiled slightly and shook my head.
Fetching the sleeping bag from the cupboard, I pulled the blanket over him and tucked him in. Zipping myself inside the bag, I settled myself down onto the floor. I drifted off to the sound of the rain on the window and Finn's even breathing.
Chapter 5
"Amy? Amy, wake up." I half surfaced from the ocean of sleep. My eyes fluttered open, revealing the light room and Finn's worried face peering down at mine. "Amy, listen." He paused and looked away slightly, listening. Then there came a faint voice up the stairs.
"Amy, I'm off to work, you'd better get up for school now, or you'll be late." There was a pause and I tried to take the information into my dulled brain.
"Amy?" Then there was a tap, tap, tap, which I couldn't place until it was too late. She was coming up the stairs. To see me. And Finn was in my room.
"Sorry, mum," I called quickly while wrestling myself out of the sleeping bag.
"Oh, good morning darling. I'm just off to work now," came the reply as I heard her reach the landing.
Dammit, dammit, dammit.
"Get in the cupboard or something!" I hissed frantically at Finn, who's bewildered eyes searched madly around for the place I was talking about. "Or the wardrobe!" He located it as around the same time I managed to get out of the sleeping bag, and the same time my mum reached my door.
The handle of the door turned just as Finn climbed, no, jumped, inside the wardrobe. My bedroom door opened and I pretended to be calmly shutting the wardrobe doors, but inside my heart was jumping. I closed the stow-away inside, the only thing visible now was the the bottom of his trousers and a single bare foot, but I quickly shut him inside before my mum could see it.
"Sorry I didn't hear you call me. I was still asleep," I smiled and firmly made sure the doors were shut before I joined my mum in the doorway and put my arms around her before she could ask why I was looking in the wardrobe.
"No, I'm sorry," She returned my hug, "I should've listened to the radio before I got onto the motorway. I'm sorry I wasn't there after school too. Wait," she pulled back and looked at my hair. "What," she trailed off and touched her hand to the blackened hair on the side of my face.
Oh, I'd forgotten about that.
"Yeah, I..." My head spun for a decent lie, and I spouted the first one that worked. "I leaned to far over the Bunsen burner in science yesterday." I shrugged. "I'm stupid."
"Hmm..." She mumbled, still stroking my hair. She didn't have to know that I didn't even have science yesterday.
"Well, it doesn't look like your hurt too badly," she brushed her fingers over my burned skin and I tried to make no reaction, but it stung. "And I've got an important meeting. So I will see you later." She leaned down and kissed my forehead. "Bye hunny."
"Bye, mum," I smiled as she waved from the top of the stairs, then descended. She had no idea that I had just lied. But it was better that way. Sometimes a little lie was better than the truth, right?
I waited until I heard the front door shut, and then turned back to Finn in the wardrobe.
"Can I come out now?" I barely heard his whisper, but it made me laugh as I walked over to the doors and pulled them open. Finn slipped out and looked up at me with a big grin on his face. "That was close!" He laughed. "Can we do it again?"
***
"Bye!" Finn called from the front door, waving his hand like crazy.
I smiled despite the whole prospect of leaving seemed like another life. I much liked my life with Finn better. Never the less, I walked to the bus and climbed on, and watched as Finn shut the front door from the window I was sat by.
He was lucky. He could stay and watched TV while I had to endure them for a whole day. Joy.
I plugged my seat belt in and put my bag onto the seat beside me. I tucked my knees up to my chest as the bus began to move forwards.
How was it going to work out with Finn? That poor, poor boy, I thought to myself. His own mother had done that to him, yet he was happy. When he smiled, even just a small one where his mouth only tilted up on one side, you had no other choice but to smile back. He was already the little brother I never had.
The bus slowed for a stop, and it puzzled me. We had never stopped here before...
The door to the bus slid open and the figure that climbed on froze my eyes wide.
It was that boy. From the bus. The one who kept looking at me. Oh, God.
He was dressed, now, in our school uniform. Blue jumper with the school logo and black trousers and shoes.
It was just my luck he sat on the empty seats the other side of the aisle from me.
It suddenly became stuffy and hot, too hot, in my seat. I shifted uneasily in my seat as the bus began to move again. I could feel his eyes on me. My freshly cleaned uniform, my newly applied concealer and my hair, tucked up into our school cap to hide the scorched hair. Today I looked... I guess almost respectable. But that wasn't an excuse for him to be looking at me.
I was about to turn to him; ask him what his problem was when someone slipped into the seat beside me. Her dark brown hair was slicked back into a tight pony tail and her face slathered in makeup. Her hazel eyes were taunting even before she spoke.
"Hey you sexy beast. How'r you doing this morning?"
I turned back to the window.
"Hey, don't ignore me. And don't wear that hat. It makes you look fat." I heard laughter behind me as she jabbed out her hand and pulled the cap from my head, my hair falling down to the sides of my face where it had fallen out of my hair band.
"Hey!" I snapped, reaching back for the cap as she held it away from me.
She laughed, but suddenly it was pulled from her hand.
The glare the boy gave her then was harsh, and made her scurry backwards down the bus like a rat. The dark boy reached over and handed me back my hat.
"Thanks," I mumbled, not really sure what to say. He simply smiled in response and turned back to the window, leaving me staring at him like he'd been at me.
I opened my mouth ready to say something, what ever came out of my mouth, when she was back again, this time next to the dark boy opposite me. He didn't turn to her, even as she started talking to him.
"Hey, I'm Rose," she flirted, "And you are...?"
His voice was flat and he didn't turn around when he spoke. "Dylan."
"Cool, Dylan," she continued and still talked to the back of his head. "Is it your first day? Where did you move from?" She laughed and put a hand on the muscly shoulder that was shutting her out. "Dylan? What is it? Jeez, I'm not going to bite." She tried, and failed, at getting him to turn around. "Dylan? This isn't a good start for you is it? You should try to make friends, not make people wonder if you are actually on Earth." She went to waver her hand in front of his face when he suddenly spun around and looked Rose in the eyes.
"Will you leave me alone?" There was a moment of silence from the babbling Rose, in which Dylan's eyes flicked up to me, then back down to her.
At that point I realized I was staring at him. I blinked myself out of it and turned to the trees as they rushed past the moving bus. I didn't stop listening to them, even though I knew I should. Dylan puzzled me. I'd never seen anyone brush Rose off like that. She was pretty. If eyes were the window to the soul, then someone lied. Rose's eyes were a cool, nice hazel, yet she was harsh and sharp.
"Okay Dylan. I'll see you around." Rose got back up and brushed past me. Rose wasn't fazed. She would come back to him again and again until he gave into her. I knew that much about her to be able to say that.
I shook my head slightly. They were all like that. They either hated you or loved you. Lucky for Dylan is seemed he was going to be a popular guy with all the girls lusting after him. Fair enough, I though. He was very good looking. Shame they would never really get to know the real him. They would never find the need to know him, only his popularity to add to their own. They were all that shallow.
But he had completely brushed Rose off... He had seen what she had dome to me, even though it was a minor thing. But he had seen the state I was in on the bus, and what? Thought that I didn't need Rose's taunting? Or did he already guess the truth of the matter? That it was part of a bigger matter? I didn't know.
In second lesson, I was surprised to see him walk through the door with a girl on his arm. Was her name... Nicole? Nikki? Something like that. And she already had her claws in him. Poor guy, I thought helplessly as they wandered past my desk, her face turned up to him and pointless words flowed from her mouth. Dylan looked... Bored was the only way to describe his expression.
As he was dragged past, his eyes met mine, and perked up long enough for me to notice but then he was pulled behind with a flirty "Come sit with me, Dylan."
Rolling my eyes, I turned back and ignored them as they streamed past to their seats behind me.
The French teacher entered the room and sat at her desk.
"Awful dress," Lizzie commented from the seat in front of me. I examined the muddy brown dress, black tights and ocean blue shiny heels.
"She has awful fashion sense," I replied just as she looked up.
"Nicole, you know he can't sit there."
I glanced behind me to find Dylan cramped onto the end of a desk. There wasn't enough space on the table, yet she had pulled a chair up for him so he was next to her, and no one else. He seemed too polite to say anything, but when the teacher mentioned him, he stood up and grabbed his black bag from under the desk. He seemed grateful to move away from her.
"Why don't you sit," Mrs Drewn searched the classroom for a seat, her eyes resting on the empty one beside me, "next to Amy."
After a moment, the chair next to me was dragged out and Dylan dropped into it. I felt awkward already. Subconsciously I began to fiddle with the zip of my pencil case. Mrs Drewn read out the register and started on the lesson.
"Can I borrow a pen?" Dylan asked, leaning close to me to avoid being caught in the teachers sharp eyes that darted across the quiet classroom.
"Sure," I murmured back. I reached in and pulled one out of my pencil case and rolled it across the space between us.
"Thanks," he breathed and turned back to the front. The teacher talked for a minute longer, then handed out a worksheet.
I felt Dylans' eyes on me so I focused totally onto what I was writing. I couldn't look up at him even to confirm his eyes on me. I wouldn't be able to stand it. If the intensity of his gaze was as strong as I thought it was, I would go red and give myself away.
"What were you doing on the bus the other day? You looked pretty bad..." My hand froze mid word. My mind went blank for a decent lie. What could I say? I had a weird feeling that I didn't want to lie to him, but I shook it off. Why should I trust him? I didn't know him at all and he was going to be one of them because he had no choice in the matter. They would have him.
"I missed the school bus," I lied and avoided looking at his face.
There was a pause.
"You didn't," he said, shaking his head slightly. I gulped, and curiosity got the better of me. I looked up at his face and straight into his dark eyes. I could feel my will bending. His eyes had an amazing affect on me that I couldn't control.
"No, I lied," I blurted before I knew what I was saying. How did he scramble my thoughts like that? But Dylan just nodded and released me from his eyes.
I shook my head. How on Earth had that just happened?
"Err, why were you really on the public bus?" Dylan inquired again, slightly nervously doodling along the side of the paper. He hadn't answered any of the questions on the worksheet, just drawn swirly then sharp patterns in black pen.
This time I kept my eyes down. "None of your business." I didn't like to be rude to him, he didn't really deserve it, but I was going to prove to myself that he couldn't control me like that.
"I know," he smiled and tilted his head a little to the side.He bit his lip and turned back to me. "Was it to do with the bruises and your hair?"
I glared up at him, determined to meet his eyes and not change what I was going to say. "You shoudn't know about that."
"I know," he repeated and smiled again. I ground my teeth together. "Okay, I'm sorry," he apoligised. "But I will find out what happened to you," his eyes clouded over and his voice went soft and detached.
I felt my eyes widen as he reached out one hand and lightly brushed my bruised cheek. He focus drifted back in suddenly, as if for the first time realizing what he was doing, and his finger slid from my face, then he turned back to his doodling.
I was in shock. "Why did you keep looking at me on the bus?" In reply, Dylan simply reached up and tapped his nose twice.
Dammit.
"Have you got the same beautiful hair do as you had yesterday, Amy babe?" came the voice behind me.
I just rolled my eyes and ignored her, looking back down at the sheet in front of me.
"It made you look really cute!" she laughed, followed by more laughter. "You should've seen her Dylan. She looked cute enough to eat! Jessica helped her with her new style," she snickered. I did my best to block her and her snide comment out, but of course they all knew what happened. Of course they did.
"As a matter a fact, I did see her yesterday," Dylan spoke down to the table, but when a girl behind us asked him to repeat it, he did. Right in her face.
The girl blinked. "Excuse me?"
"I saw her yesterday on the bus home," Dylan said, glaring at this girl. "And you know what? You know what I thought?" He didn't pause long enough for her to say anything. "I thought, that poor girl. I didn't think any more of it until I got on the school bus this morning. This kid Rose came up to her and began laughing at her. Then I knew what happened to her. That poor bus girl. I knew why. It was because of people like you," he spat at her. He turned back around, meeting my eyes briefly before continuing doodling on his page.
I was speechless. So was the group behind me. I swallowed and looked back down at the sheet in front of me. Before that, everything had made sense. Now, my thoughts were jumbled so completely, this could've been Japanese for how much I understood it.
After a minute or two, my polite side got the better of me. "Thanks," I whispered to Dylan.
"No problem," he whispered back, smiling,"They shouldn't've been that harsh to you. It was totally unessasary." I nodded. "I'll try my best to stop them," he added.
I looked up at him. "But you've only just got here, you don't know me. I could deserve it."
"Do you?"
I ran my tounge along my bottom lip nervously. "I don't think so."
"Well then. I will try my best to stop them," he smiled, "Amy." I felt myself blush. What was this boy getting himself into? It was kind of him to stick up for me... But what was his motives? Why did he want to look out for me? Was it as fake my smile after they've talked to me?
Please continue it.
