Not sure what to call this

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Ok- I just wrote this...... No sure what I think about it yet so feel free to give all the comments you can offer!!!!

Yesterday there was no happiness
Yesterday there was no glee
Yesterday I was just a space filler
But yesterday I found the real me.

Today I smile at the sun
Soaking in its rays of warmth
Today I whisper at the wind
Today I've found myself again.

The darkness has been burnt by light
The beast will never win
So today I'll raise my voice with praise
And steer away from sin.
If you want to be a great writer, don't think about what you're going to write, just write it.

I'm a huge fan of writers block! When your brain halts, with no direction for where you should go, it gives you threads. All you have to do is pull and unravel the story you're meant to write.




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Wow, I really like this! :D I think you did a great job on it!

Yesterday there was no happiness
Yesterday there was no glee
Yesterday I was just a space filler
But yesterday I found the real me. [I really like this :D]

Today I smile at the sun
Soaking in its rays of warmth
Today I whisper at the wind
Today I've found myself again.

The darkness has been burnt by light [I love the imagery in this line. It's great!]
The beast will never win [I like the line itself, but it seems to interrupt the flow of the poem. Maybe you could rephrase it a bit differently so it flows smoother?]
So today I'll raise my voice with praise
And steer away from sin.[I usually hate it when lines are started with 'And' but since this is like the continuation of the last line it sounds fine. I also like the ending, but it seemed just a tad abrupt to me.]


So, I really don't have much to say that could help you, but I really like it. Sorry I couldn't be of more help.
~Tayla
A person who never made a mistake never tried anything new.
~Albert Einstein

I'm not afraid of death, I just don't want to be there when it happens.
~Anonymous

I am the author of my life. Unfortunately I'm writing in pen and I can't erase my mistakes. . .
~Anonymous




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OHMYWORD.
I like it. :]
My favorite part would be "The darkness has been burnt by light
The beast will never win"
But, maybe you could use a different word than "praise." Such as extol, honor, reverence...et cetera.
It's good. :] keep writing.
--Shackled




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I think it's great. You delivered the message very clearly in simple stanzas, I like it.
maybe you could call it Daylight? :p
ಠ_ಠ




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I really liked it. It was short and sweet and still managed to have some beauty. Keep on writing!
There once was a women named Kent,
Whose nose was rather quite bent.
One day I suppose,
She followed her nose,
And nobody knows where she went.
-Unknown




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This is really good, but I'd say it could use some work. First off, you should read it out loud a few times, there are places when the flow gets interrupted. Second, I would maybe make every line in the second stanza start with today, you have one that doesn't. And, I like the last stanza, but was really hoping it would be about tomorrow. It just seemed like that is what your poem was aiming for. What if you had two stanzas for each, past, present, future? I think expanding this would be a good idea. Anyway, I hope I was helpful, please keep writing, you have lots of talent. So, write!
A non-writing writer is a monster courting insanity. -Kafka

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Yesterday there was no happiness,
Yesterday there was no glee,(a fan? :b)
Yesterday I was just a space filler,
But yesterday I found the real me.

Today I smile at the sun,
Soaking in its rays of warmth.
Today I whisper at the wind,
Today I've found myself again.

The darkness has been burnt by light-
The beast will never win;
So today I'll raise my voice with praise,
And steer away from sin.

It was kinda simple really, I can't say it was very special or touching, but it was nice.
Keep writing,
SubjectBlue.
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"Great minds think alike- idiots are unpredictable"

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