Worth It ?

Being alone is being secure
Being content is being afraid
Whatve I got to be head-down about?

Having everything is nothing to this
Showing no pain is all but bliss
Where do I go to escape?
How long will it take to be on my way?

What will it take to run?
Run away?
Theres nothing to run from
And thats the problem

Something to run from
Something to run to
Stuck here alone
Like theres nothing to choose
Got nothing to loose
Need something to loose

Run, escape, find something
To be lost forever
Is it worth it?
Freedom to be gained
Love will be lost
Is it worth it?

Your piece moved me, because I sort of relate to it. There were minor grammar errors but it's all good. It was intense yet soft for me. Awesome job.

Thank you kindly for your comment . In a nerdy way I feel it important to tell you you are my very first commentor! Congrats!
Anyway, Im glad to hear yoy feel this way about my poem. And the errors are on account of...Im not the best with touch screens.
~Hopeispeace

Hi there. First of all I really liked this poem. I'm not much for the rhymers, but this one turned out pretty well. The flow was good. I'm not quite sure what it was about, though. So anyway, time for some more specific comments. Red means it might need editing, green means awesome, and blue is my comments added in about the last green or red marks. Also, don't be offended by the red. I'm here to help you.

"Is ItWorth It? Maybe that would make a little more sense.

Being alone is being secure
Being content is being afraidNice! This is a great start that makes me want to read more. It lets you think about it for yourself.
What've I got to be head-down about?
Having everything is nothing to this
Showing no pain is all but bliss
Where do I go to escape?
How long will it take to be on my way?
What will it take to run?
Run away? This makes you sound like a confused child, in which you gain sympathy from the reader. This helps to catch the mood and makes the poem more dramatic.
There's nothing to run from
And that's the problem
Something to run from
Something to run to
Stuck here alone
Like there's nothing to choose
Got nothing to loose
Need something to looseWait, why do you have nothing to loose? This draws back from the problem. If there is nothing to loose, why don't you just go for it right away.
Run, escape, find something
To be lost forever
Is it worth it?
Freedom to be gained
Love will be lost
Is it worth it? Ok, perfect ending. It explains a lot about the poem, and on a second reread I think it also tells me what it is about. "


So, awesome job with this. Keep writing and have fun with it. Also, no need to listen top my red comments if you don't want to. Those are just my personal opinions. Bye now!
-Cammie

Thanks for your comment!

First off I'd like to say, thanks for all the green
Second, I believe I have a thing or two to explain. . .
You mentioned the title might be "Is it Worth It?" Instead of just "Worth It?". The thing is, I have this weird policy; I refuse to have "little" words be my first words in titles (on most occasions). "is" and "it" are two examples of non-title starters, see?

Also, the "nothing to loose - need something to loose" part (which was in red). Let me explain;
The point of my poem is a longing for freedem . . . the narrator (me..whoever) wants to loose something to gain said freedom...its a bit confusing (which is why I'm not trying to explain any further . . .
Anyway, thanks!

~Hopeispeace

Hey there hopeispeace!(: I'm a fan of poetry and really enjoyed reading this. What I liked most was how much it made me think, especially those first few lines. I think I'll just walk through the poem and give any comments I have in red!

Being alone is being secure
Being content is being afraid These are some great first lines! It's what drew me in to reading more of the poem since it made me think. I like the use of parallelism too.
Whatve I got to be head-down about? You forgot an apostrophe between the What and the ve here I also like the phrase head-down.

Having everything is nothing to this
Showing no pain is all but blissI like this line, because I can relate to it. It's not easy to show no pain, and just because someone doesn't seem unhappy doesn't mean they aren't.
Where do I go to escape? I go to my bedroom to escape (;
How long will it take to be on my way?

What will it take to run?
Run away? I liked the repeat of run here.
Theres nothing to run from
And thats the problem

Something to run from
Something to run to Nice parallelism again!
Stuck here alone
Like theres nothing to choose It should be there's.
Got nothing to loose Here it should be 'lose' instead of 'loose', same with the following line.
Need something to loose

Run, escape, find something
To be lost forever
Is it worth it?
Freedom to be gained
Love will be lost
Is it worth it? I really like these finishing line because they pull the thoughts in the poem altogether and bring clarity to some of the earlier things said in the poem.

Well overall I really enjoyed your poem! Keep on writings(:

-Kate