The Impossible

Some of us dream,
of the Impossible.
which I could not find.

I don’t dream anymore.

I don’t sleep.
I lie awake beneath the midnight skies,
for all hours really.

Inside the wooden cave of moonshine.

Pondering and wondering the pointless,
with these words of garbage,
vulgarity and uselessness.

What does it all mean?

It’s all I can think about.
Finally I had something,
I threw it away.

Worthless garbage it was.

Unneeded useless filth.

I could live in it.

Consume my soul it would.
__
Review please! Haha, of course. Thats what this site is about isn't it? And do please like if you like!

Hello, Knight.

This poem is suffering. Suffering from a punctation famine. The whole first half contains practically zero punctuation, which also means it has practically zero pauses. Nothing has emphasis and the pace is exhausting. Not to mention confusing, being thrust from one idea to another without pause.

On the plus side, I think you've achieved a pretty consistent tone but your subject is a tad too vague. Some suggestions that I think could easily improve your poem would be to cut things like simple questions, direct descriptions, and repetitions. Good luck revising, PM me if you do.

hmm this was very confusing. I didn't understand but I read this a few times and began to put together my interpretation of the poem. I liked it; it was short and quick. I loved the nice word choice. I don't think it flowed very well though. It seemed a bit choppy. And there was little or no punctuation. So i wasn't sure if it was all one big sentence split up into different parts. Overall, I really enjoyed reading it.

best wishes,
Nessa

From your poem this is how i received it;
its about you or someone else not dreaming anymore as it wont come true, you remind yourself that you used to dream about whatever it was and you hate the reminder and is what is potraying 'garbage'
although im probably wrong
this is how i thought it was about

Hm... definitely I need to revise a couple things and sorry about the punctuation. That was a blind, sad mistake.

I quite agree with papernessa.the tone of the poem was good.but i didn't quite get what you are actually going to convey through the poem and you definitely need to work on your punctuation.Its good to see that you are humble enough to accept your own faults.better luck next time!